One Step At a Time
by meggz106
Summary: Jiraiya has spent years trying to find Tsunade after watching her walk out the village and his life. What happens when he finally finds her? This is a story of letting go of the past, finding life after death, and learning how to love, one step at a time.
1. Long Time No See

Chapter 1

"Well what do you think?" Jiraiya asked as he looked at his readers, anxiously awaiting their reactions to his recently published novel. It was the first book he had ever written and was therefore doubtful that it was any good. He decided to share his work with his longtime student Minato and his wife Kushina because he valued their opinions. However, he was afraid that their receptions to the completed novel would be negative.

"This is an excellent story Jiraiya Sensei." Minato said with a smile after putting his copy of the book down. Minato was the Fourth Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves despite his young age. He was a skilled ninja and one could argue that he was the best of his generation. Jiraiya took pride in his student and though some would credit Jiraiya with how well Minato turned out, he insisted that it was all due to the natural ability to excel that Minato possessed.

Kushina nodded her head in agreement with her husband and reached across the table they were all seated at to take hold of one of Jiraiya's hands and gave it a reassuring squeeze, "Minato's right Sensei. This is a great tale." She assured him.

Kushina was not only Minato's wife, she was also the current jinchuriki of the nine tailed fox demon, and was nine months pregnant with her first child. She was to have a baby boy and was very excited at the thought of becoming a mother. However, the birth of her precious child would have to be top secret due to the unpredictable and terrifying spirit Kushina carried within her. The seal that kept that spirit in captivity was strong but could be undone as a result of the excruciating nature of child birth. In the event that were to happen, someone with cruel intentions could try to extract the beast, manipulate it, and use its powers to do harm to not only the village, but to the entire ninja world. That was why Kushina had to be protected and monitored closely up until she went into labor. It was a scary and unfortunate reality for her, but she didn't let it alter her happy-go-lucky personality.

Jiraiya rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "Are you two sure about that?" He laughed, "I mean, it is my first novel. You can tell me if it's horrible, I won't be offended." Jiraiya was told at a young age by the great elder toad of Mount Myoboku that his destiny was to travel the world and write books. Though he never considered himself to be much of a writer, he decided to give it a try since the elder toad prophesied it to him. Therefore, he was almost certain that his very first book was not a good piece of literature.

"We're positive Jiraiya Sensei." Minato assured him, "We wouldn't lie to you. We genuinely think the story is good."

"I love how action packed it is, you know!" Kushina exclaimed happily and then placed a gentle hand on her bulging stomach, "I also love how motivated and persistent the main character is." She said in a softer tone, "He has great dreams and aspirations and he never goes back on his word. He's trustworthy and also kind, and a bit of a goofball. That's exactly how I want my son to be."

Jiraiya looked at Kushina softly and felt happy that she thought so highly of the main character in his novel. For the first time, he saw Kushina as a gentle mother who just wanted her child to grow up to be a decent human being. The young girl he knew was no more and was replaced by a woman who was not only a great wife, but a loving mother as well. He then watched as Kushina looked at Minato and smiled and the two nodded their heads at each other at the same time. Minato then placed his hand on top of the hand that Kushina had resting on her stomach.

"Jiraiya Sensei." Minato started, looking directly at his mentor, "We would like to name our son after the main character of your book."

Jiraiya was touched beyond words. He could not believe that his student would actually honor him in such a profound way by naming his child after a character that Jiraiya created himself. When Jiraiya was in the beginning stages of writing his novel, he didn't quite know what to write about. He wanted to tell a story, but not just a trivial tale that would be forgotten as soon as one finishes reading it. He wanted to tell a story that had great meaning attached to it and one that would leave the reader feeling inspired and hopeful. He then recalled his experiences as a ninja and decided to write about that, but modified some of the details. He needed a main character for his story so he created a character that was relatable, but everything that a great hero should be. As for the name of the character, he didn't put that much thought into it.

"Are you sure you want to name your son that?" Jiraiya asked frantically, "I mean, I just thought of the name when I was eating a bowl of ramen."

"Naruto." Kushina said, falling in love with the name the more she said it, "I think that's the perfect name for our child."

"Besides, I think it's only right that we name him after the main character of his godfather's very first novel." Minato smiled and watched as a smile emerged on Jiraiya's face.

"I'm his godfather?" He asked, making sure that he was actually hearing correctly.

The couple nodded their heads in union, "You're like family to us Jiraiya Sensei." Kushina explained, "We want you to look out for our sweet Naruto and be his sensei just like you did for Minato."

Jiraiya was at a loss for words. He felt his heart swell with happiness for he truly felt as if he was apart of a great family. After losing his parents a few years earlier, it was nice to know that he found a family with Minato and Kushina who accepted him for all he was, "I promise you two that no matter what I will protect Naruto and love him unconditionally."

The trio then spoke of other topics such as who Naruto would resemble once he was born and what kind of justu they would teach him when he was old enough to learn about the ninja way. They also spoke about perhaps a sequel to Jiraiya's novel. They kept talking until the late afternoon when Jiraiya realized that it was time for him to head out on yet another journey. Minato and Kushina did not understand why Jiraiya was constantly on the move. They often wondered why he didn't just settle in the village, but they grew accustomed to seeing Jiraiya every now and then when he would return to the village for a short visit.

After saying their goodbyes, Jiraiya left their home and started to walk the busy streets of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Unlike so many other villages, the Leaf Village was among the most prosperous. After all, it was one of the five great nations. While the village was relatively peaceful, it still had many enemies such as other villages that would not hesitate to strike against it given the opportunity. Therefore, the Leaf's leaders had to keep watchful eyes on the current affairs of the nations that surrounded the village. They had to be ready for an attack at any moment in time, they could not let their guard down. However, the Leaf Village was not without its faults, as it too had a history of corruption. Minato was trying to right all the wrongs of the village, but it would take some time.

Jiraiya found himself at the door of a familiar house. He used to visit that house on many occasions back when he was still living in the village. It was the home of his old sensei and former Third Hokage of the Leaf, Hiruzen Sarutobi. Sarutobi retired from his post as Hokage to spend time with his wife in his old age and to allow the younger generation to lead the village to prosperity. Jiraiya never thought he would see the day when his sensei was no longer the Hokage

He knocked twice on the front door, waiting for his presence to be acknowledged. After a few moments, he was greeted by an older woman with long brown hair that was transitioning into gray. He knew this woman to be Biwako Sarutobi, the wife of his sensei. He hasn't seen her in a while, for every time he returned to the village their paths never crossed. However, when he was just a boy he would see her quite often. Sometimes after returning from a mission, Biwako would invite all three of her husband's students, including Jiraiya over to their home for a meal. He missed those days and wished that for just a day, he could be a child again. Those days were some of the most memorable and happiest of his life.

"Jiraiya." Biwako said, shocked to see the tall man standing before her, "I didn't know you were in the village."

"Nice to see you Lady Biwako." Jiraiya smiled and gave the woman a sincere hug, "I was just passing through and I'm about to leave again." He explained, "Is Sarutobi Sensei here?" He asked, "I wanted to see him before I leave."

"He's in his study." She said and moved aside to let Jiraiya enter her home, "I'm sure he'll be happy to see you. He's been wondering about your travels."

Jiraiya stepped into the house and marveled at how it looked exactly as it did back when he was just a child. The house was filled with fancy furniture, suitable for a Hokage and other treasured items. However, Jiraiya's favorite part of the house were the walls that were adorned with photographs of all the important people in the old man's life. There were images of his wife, his children, and even a picture of Team Sarutobi. Jiraiya stopped for a moment to look at that particular photo. He remembered the exact date it was taken. It was so many years ago when the team was first assembled. The picture featured Sarutobi standing behind his three students. Jiraiya was in the middle with a mischievous look on his face. Orochimaru, his fellow male teammate was standing expressionless to the left of him, and on the right was the only female member of the team, Tsunade smiling sweetly at the camera.

He missed his teammates and often wondered where they were and what they were doing. Orochimaru was walking down a path of destruction and evil. He knew that to be a fact since his old comrade almost succeeded in killing him. However, Orochimaru's whereabouts were unknown to all. In fact, Jiraiya spent a significant amount of time trying to locate his old friend but was unsuccessful at all his attempts. Tsunade on the other hand was still on the straight and narrow, but where she decided to base her life was also a mystery to Jiraiya. She left the village not too long after someone who was very dear to her heart tragically passed away. At the time Jiraiya was still living in the village and was desperate to have her remain there with him, but there was little anyone could have done to have changed her mind.

Jiraiya knocked on the door that would lead him to his mentor's study and waited for permission to enter. Once he was told to come in, he entered the room and was pleased to see his sensei sitting on an arm chair, smoking his pipe and reading a book, "Hello Sensei." He said as he stepped further into the room.

"Jiraiya." Sarutobi said while looking up from his book, "What a pleasant surprise. Have a seat."

Jiraiya sat on the chair that was directly in front of his teacher and could see how retirement has treated the old man. He no longer looked as stressed as he once did. It was probably a wise decision on his part to step down as Hokage so that he could focus more on his health, "You look good Sarutobi Sensei. I could never imagine you just relaxing at home but I think it's good for you."

"I thought the same Jiraiya, but I can see that Minato is doing a fine job." Sarutobi said, "What brings you here to my neck of the woods?"

"I came to see Minato." He said, "And I also came to give you this." He pulled out a copy of his book from his satchel and handed it to the older man, "It's the first book I've ever written. I haven't sold many copies but Minato and Kushina seem to like it. I wanted you to read it."

Sarutobi accepted his copy of the book and glanced at its title, "The Tale of a Gutsy Ninja." He read, "Is it a bibliography?"

When Jiraiya was just a boy, he was reckless but determined. He got into trouble around the village when he wasn't on missions, and when he was away on missions he took the most risks out of all his teammates. Therefore, it didn't come as a surprise to Jiraiya when Sarutobi thought the book was about himself.

"No it's not about me." Jiraiya shook his head, "Rather, it's about who I aspire to be."

"I'll be sure to read it." Sarutobi promised his student, "However, I was wondering if you would consider moving back to the village."

Jiraiya was taken back by Sarutobi's sudden question. Surely Sarutobi knew Jiraiya's reasons for not wanting to stay in one place.

"Minato is doing a great job as Hokage, but I think he needs someone to be his right hand man." The old man explained, "I think that person should be you Jiraiya."

Sarutobi initially wanted Jiraiya to succeed him as Hokage, but Jiraiya refused to stay tied down to the village. All of the Third Hokage's students were skilled ninjas. They were dubbed as the Three Legendary Sannin of the Leaf after they led the Leaf to victory during the Great War. However, they were all scattered away from the village and one of them happened to be an enemy now. Jiraiya would have been the best choice as the Hokage especially since Tsunade had issues of her own. Ever since Tsunade left the village, for some reason Jiraiya just did not want to stay there. So he busied himself with travel and writing, anything to keep his mind off of the friend he lost.

"You know that I can't stay here Sensei." Jiraiya said slightly irritated, "My travels are not over."

Sarutobi rested his pipe on the small table beside him and leaned closer to Jiraiya in an attempt to persuade him to stay, "Don't you think it's about time that you stop frolicking around the globe and stay where you are needed?"

For a second Jiraiya felt as if he were a young boy again, being scolded by his teacher. The truth was that no matter how old Jiraiya got, in the eyes of the former Third Hokage, he would always be his pupil.

"I'm not needed here." Jiraiya stressed with a slightly raised voice, "Minato has everything under control."

Jiraiya just could not understand Sarutobi's sudden need for him to remain in the village. Jiraiya was too much of a free spirit to possibly stay in one place. Furthermore, his heart was just not in the village anymore.

"Have you found her yet?" Sarutobi asked his student.

Jiraiya lost his train of thought as soon as he heard his mentor ask him that question. Why was he asking him that? What did she have to do with anything?

"Who are you referring to Sensei?" Jiraiya asked, trying his best to pretend as if he had no idea in the world as to what his sensei was talking about.

Sarutobi rolled his eyes and shook his head, clearly seeing past Jiraiya's façade, "You know exactly who I'm speaking about Jiraiya." He said, too tired for games, "Don't pretend as if you don't."

Jiraiya sighed deeply, realizing that there was no use in lying to the person who knew everything about him, "I haven't found her." Jiraiya admitted, somehow feeling ashamed in saying it, "The last time I saw her was when she left the village."

"She hasn't contacted you nor made any attempts to find you." The older man stated, "That to me sounds like she doesn't want to be found."

Jiraiya looked at his teacher and wondered where this conversation was headed.

"Therefore, you should stop wasting your time trying to find her." Sarutobi said bluntly, "Instead you should occupy your time doing things that will benefit the village."

"You're wrong Sensei." Jiraiya said, "I'm not looking for her. On my travels I try to gather information that I can bring back to the village. It may not seem like I'm doing anything at all to help, but just because you don't see it doesn't mean that it's not fact." Jiraiya rose to his feet and started towards the door, "It was nice to see you, but I must be on my way now."

"I didn't mean to offend you boy." Sarutobi started, "I just don't want you to get your hopes up. She has been through a lot."

"I'll see you when I return to the village when Minato's son is born." Jiraiya said before walking out of the old man's study and starting his journey to wherever the wind decided to take him. He felt somewhat guilty in lying to his teacher, but he felt as if it was what he needed to do. He was being truthful when he said he was gathering information on behalf of the village, but the part about not looking for that woman was a complete lie. He spent days, weeks, even months on end trying to locate the person he so desperately wanted to help, but failed every time. There were days when he felt like giving up, but then he would imagine looking at her face once again and that alone would give him the motivation to try again. Some would say he was being foolish, but when one loves someone so much, he would do anything to be in the company of that person. He wasn't entirely sure when he would ever see her again, but he vowed to keep trying until the day would come when they would reunite.

He stopped at the apartment he stayed at when he was in the village to gather a few items for his journey. He owned the apartment, but he never really considered it to be home since he was rarely ever there. He thought about selling it on multiple occasions, but stopped himself every time. Perhaps he made the right decision to keep it since soon Minato would soon have a son, and Jiraiya wanted to be involved in the child's life as much as he could.

It wasn't a fancy apartment. In fact, it wasn't much to look at and was in a constant messy state. It only consisted of a small bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, and living area. He didn't have that much furniture since he did not see the need for extravagance in a space he barely occupied. It only had the bare necessities.

Once he was in the apartment, he located his backpack and stuffed it with some fresh clothes, a few cans of non-perishable food items in case he became hungry on the road, bottles of purified water, and other items essential for survival. He had no intentions on sleeping out in the wilderness, but if the situation called for it at least he would be prepared. On his travels, he would usually stay in cheap inns until he found what he was looking for in the town he would end up in. If he didn't find what he wanted in a week or so, he would pack up and leave on yet another journey. Maybe it was a lonely, tiresome existence, but Jiraiya became accustomed to his nomadic lifestyle. In fact, it would feel strange to him if he had a permanent home. However, if he found the person he was so longing to see, then maybe settling down would be something to consider.

He approached the village gate and informed the ninja in charge of monitoring who entered and exited the village that he was leaving once again. They bid him farewell and wished him safety on his travels. He then walked out the village, determined that this time around he would find the one who has occupied all his thoughts for years.

After a day and a half of traveling down seemingly never ending dirt roads under the blazing sun and other unfavorable weather conditions, he decided to settle in a small town in the countryside called Otaru Village. It was minuscule compared to the Leaf with not much to see or do. The buildings were old and quite small, the roads were basically deserted, and only a few storefronts existed. He wondered to himself how anyone could survive in such an impoverished town. Surely if he lived there he would die of boredom. He ventured further into the village and came across an inn. He was tired and his body ached with pain. It seemed as if his travels took a toll on his body and he needed rest. He then decided to stay in that inn for at least the night.

He walked up to the front desk and was greeted by the receptionist who worked there. She was a younger woman who seemed to be in her early twenties. She had short brown hair and kind, green eyes.

"Welcome to Otaru Inn." She said with a smile upon noticing Jiraiya's presence, "My name is Hitari, how may I help you."

"Do you have a room available for the night?" Jiraiya asked, clearly exhausted. He was almost certain that his eyes were bloodshot and had dark circles underneath them and hoped that inn was available. He was exhausted and just needed to sleep.

He watched as Hitari skimmed through her guest book and watched as a smile emerged on her face, "You're in luck today sir." She started, "Currently we only have three parties staying with us so there is more than enough room for you." She smiled and Jiraiya felt relieved, "Would you like a room with one bed or two?"

"Just one for the night." He said and handed her some money, "This should cover it."

She accepted the money and was about to give him his change when he stopped her and shook his head, "You can keep that." He said, "I just need the room key."

Hitari reached into one of the drawers of her wooden desk and emerged with the key for the room Jiraiya paid for, "Here's your key." She said and handed him the key, blushing when her hand brushed against his, "And thank you." She smiled, remembering that he allowed her to keep his change, "Your room is number 104. We have a café on the premises. It's small, but the food is good and it also has a bar." She explained and pointed in the direction of the café, "I hope you enjoy your stay."

"Thanks." He said, ignoring how Hitari was batting her eyelashes at him, and how she blushed when their hands touched. Usually Jiraiya would have acknowledged her actions towards himself, but he was too tired to do anything about them. Instead he retired to his room for the night.

He entered the room and was pleasantly surprised to see that despite the rundown town it was situated in, the inn was well kept and the accommodations were decent. He threw his bag on the ground and immediately went into the bathroom to have a shower and rid himself of the dirt and grime that accumulated on his flesh due to hours of travel. After he cleaned himself, he dressed in a simple white tank top and his gray boxers before he plopped himself tiredly on the bed and closed his eyes until he drifted off to sleep.

The following day, Jiraiya woke up in the late afternoon. He was never an early riser, but it was quite unusual for him to awake from his slumber at such a late hour. He rubbed his tired eyes and let out a rather loud yawn. He then remembered where he was and although he had no intentions on staying in that boring village for an extended period of time, he knew that he needed to take a look around, just to make sure that who he was looking for was not in that town. He had little faith that she would be there since Otaru Village was probably the last place she would ever visit. He knew her to be someone who liked to have fun in gambling halls and drink heavily in bars. Otaru Village was not home to gambling halls and Jiraiya was certain that the only bar in town was the one in the inn's café. He laughed to himself at how ridiculous it would be to actually find her in that town and got out of bed to start his day.

After freshening up in his room, he went downstairs to the lobby. He did not see Hitari at the front desk and figured that she only worked the night shift. He was slightly disappointed that she wasn't there, but hoped that he would see her later in the night. The Sannin then walked into the café when he became hungry. As Hitari said, it was quite small and only two people, probably one of the three parties staying in the inn, were occupying a table. There was only one person working in the café. He was an older man with a bald head, plump stomach, and had a large white mustache over the top of his lips. He was cleaning a few clear glasses when Jiraiya approached him.

"Someone had drinks at this time of the day?" Jiraiya asked, engaging the man in pleasant conversation.

The man looked down at the glass he was cleaning and chuckled, "Yes, I found it to be quite strange too."

"I'm Jiraiya." He said and held out his hand for the man to shake, "I'm staying in this inn."

The older man shook Jiraiya's hand and introduced himself, "My name is Fugio. Nice to meet you." He smiled, "Are you hungry? Is there anything I can get you?"

Jiraiya thought about what he wanted to eat for a second but couldn't come up with anything, "Say Fugio," he started, "How about you order something for me and I'll eat whatever you decide."

Fugio looked at Jiraiya with an amused look on his face. Out of all the guests who came to the café, nobody ever tried to have any kind of conversation with him, "That's a dangerous game Jiraiya. What if I order you something you don't like?"

"Don't worry about me, I'll eat just about anything." He boasted.

Fugio didn't argue any further with Jiraiya. Instead he placed an order with the chef, amused at the little game they decided to play.

"So where are you from Jiraiya?" He asked as he waited on Jiraiya's meal, curious about Jiraiya's story and how he ended up in his town.

Normally Jiraiya would not have told a stranger about where he was from and who he was. Being a ninja was a dangerous profession, especially being a highly ranked ninja. The Leaf Village also had many enemies who would not hesitate to kill Leaf ninja. Therefore Jiraiya had to be careful and had to blend in with his surroundings. However, he felt as if Fugio was not a threat. He was just a kind old man who worked in the café of an inn.

"I'm from the Village Hidden in the Leaves." He said, "What about you?"

"I was born and raised in this town." He started, "The Hidden Leaf Village huh? So are you a ninja then?"

"That I am." Jiraiya smiled, proud of who he is.

"You must have great stories then." Fugio said. He often wondered about the life of a ninja. He always wanted to be one, but the village he was raised in was poor and didn't have ninjas. He also didn't have the luxury to travel the world, so he never had the opportunity to learn the way of the ninja. He still found the profession to be interesting though.

"I have many stories. Some are happy, and some are sad, but I'm happy with the path I chose to become a ninja. I met some great people along the way." Jiraiya explained.

Suddenly, the chef rang the bell that sat in between the window that faced the café dining room and the kitchen, indicating that the meal was ready. Fugio went to retrieve the plate and then placed it in front of Jiraiya, "Here you go. I hope you like it."

Jiraiya looked down at his meal and saw that it was miso soup with extra pork and noodles, accompanied by a rice ball and a steaming hot cup of green tea. He wondered how the old man could have known that it was one of his favorite dishes.

"Thanks Fugio!" He exclaimed and picked the spoon up to begin consuming his meal, "This is great."

Jiraiya ate the food that was provided for him and told Fugio that he would be back later in the night for a few drinks. He decided that he wanted to stay in the village for a few more days and made his way over to the front desk to pay the fee for extending his stay. When he arrived at the front desk, he saw that Hitari was at the desk beside the person Jiraiya saw there before he went to the café. He approached the young girl, happy to see her there.

"Hello Hitari." Jiraiya smiled and watched as the young woman blushed, "Are you just starting your shift?"

She shook her head, "Actually no." She started, "I just received a better job elsewhere and I'm here to collect my last check."

"I see." Jiraiya said.

"Did you need me for something sir?" She asked, batting her eyelashes again.

"I wanted to extend my stay. I'm going to be in town for a little while longer." He explained.

Hitari then instructed the person sitting at the desk to extend Jiraiya's visit and when Jiraiya paid the bill she assured him that he was good to go, "You're all set sir."

"Please call me Jiraiya." He told her, "Tell me Hitari, what do you do for fun around here?"

Jiraiya could not deny that Hitari was good to look at. Furthermore, he enjoyed the company of beautiful women. He figured that if he was going to be in the village for a longer time, then perhaps he could have some fun for the duration of his stay. A smile graced Hitari's face and then she led him out of the inn and further into the town. Together they visited a small festival that was being conducted in the heart of the town. It wasn't as extravagant as the festivals that the Leaf would host, but it was nice nevertheless. They ate street food like corn on the cob and cotton candy, and Jiraiya even impressed the girl by winning her a stuffed toy at one of the game booths. Overall, it was a good time and Jiraiya was enjoying himself up until the point when the sun set and was replaced with the moon.

Jiraiya walked Hitari to her small apartment and she invited him inside. He walked inside her home and felt unusually awkward. Usually he had no problem being in the company of a pretty young girl in the privacy of her apartment, but for some reason he didn't feel comfortable being there. Hitari approached him, and judging by the way she was walking and the look on her face, her intentions were clear. She wrapped her slender arms around his waist and brought her face closer to his. She was about to crash her full lips down upon his until he stopped her by backing away.

"What's wrong?" She asked, "Don't you want to kiss me?" She was somewhat hurt by Jiraiya's reluctance.

He honestly did not know what was wrong with him. Under any other circumstances he would have jumped at the opportunity to be with such a good looking woman, but for some reason he had no desire to do so.

"I'm sorry." He said and immediately let himself out of her apartment. He was glad that she got a job somewhere else, for that meant he would not have to see her again. It wasn't anything she did, but Jiraiya just had no interest in being with her even if it was just for the night.

He went back to the inn and walked into the café feeling confused and somewhat embarrassed. The café was deserted. The couple who was there a few hours ago was gone. He was happy that he would have the entire café to himself so that he could talk to Fugio about what happened. However, he realized he was not alone when he spotted two women sitting at the bar. Upon further inspection, he realized exactly who they were. One of the women had short black hair and had a small pig sitting beside her on another bar stool. But he could spot the second woman straight out of a crowd of thousands. He recognized her long, silky smooth blonde hair tied off into two ponytails, and her milky white skin. He blinked twice, just to ensure that he was not seeing an illusion before him, and when the two women were still there, he smiled to himself. Finally.

He walked over to the bar and sat right beside the blonde, going unnoticed by her. She was clutching an empty glass, the same glass Fugio was cleaning earlier, that more than likely contained sake, her favorite drink. Her cheeks her flushed with a pink tint to them, and her eyes were low. She didn't seem to be intoxicated, but she looked to be on the verge of it. The black haired woman was busy feeding a bowl of rice to the tiny pig.

Fugio then emerged from the kitchen and immediately walked over to Jiraiya, "What can I get you to drink?"

Jiraiya smiled with confidence, "A round of sake for me and the lady."

He watched as the blonde woman's clutch on the glass tightened until a crack emerged on it due to the pressure she held it with. He then noticed a vein on the side of her head protrude due to her boiling anger and then he almost collapsed with sheer joy upon seeing her face turn to his in rage.

"If you think I would ever drink with you –." She started, but stopped when she realized who she was looking at. Her hazel eyes grew wide with shock.

He smiled when he saw how beautiful she was even when angry. He finally found who he has been looking for, "Long time no see, Tsunade."


	2. For Old Times Sake

"Long time no see, Tsunade." Jiraiya said with a smile while gazing upon the woman he had not seen in years. He was giddy with excitement that he was finally in her presence, but tried to hide the happiness he felt. It has been so long since he had last seen her and therefore wanted to savor the moment. He then decided to take his time to study her appearance and engrave it in his memory. For the most part, she looked the same as she did many years ago. However, she appeared to be thinner than before, and her once bright hazel eyes dulled throughout the years, probably due to the trauma she was forced to live through. Nevertheless, she was beautiful to Jiraiya.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in a cold tone that didn't come as a surprise to Jiraiya. He figured that the years have hardened her persona and he more than understood why.

"I'm just passing through town." He explained and then noticed the black haired adolescent sitting beside his old teammate with a surprised look on her face. She was Shizune, the niece of Tsunade's deceased boyfriend, and also her apprentice. Tsunade took her under her wing after the passing of her uncle. "Hello Shizune." He smiled at the younger woman, "You sure grew up didn't you." The last time Jiraiya saw Shizune, she was just a small child, but now she was a slender young teenager who was traveling the world with her mentor.

Shizune rose to her feet and walked over to Jiraiya to greet him in a sincere hug, "It's so good to see you Master Jiraiya." She said, "What have you been doing over the years?" She asked, curious as to how the Sannin lived his life.

Jiraiya was hoping that it would be Tsunade to ask him about the happenings in his life, but figured that this way Tsunade could indirectly learn more about what he has been doing for the past few years, "I've been traveling from village to village." He explained and pulled out a copy of his novel from his coat pocket before handing it to Shizune, "I also wrote this book. Feel free to read it."

"You're an author then." Shizune said while glancing down at Jiraiya's piece of literature, "That's exciting, I'll be sure to read it."

"An author?" Tsunade scoffed, "Don't make me laugh. When we were kids you could hardly put a sentence together."

Jiraiya chose to ignore Tsunade's negative comments and handed her a copy as well, "Don't worry Tsunade, I have a copy for you too."

Fugio arrived with the round of sake in hand and noticed the interaction between his new friend and the blonde woman, "Here are your drinks Jiraiya." He announced and set the tray down before him, "Is this your friend?"

Jiraiya watched as Tsunade rolled her eyes at the older man's question and had to stop himself from laughing, "Yes, Tsunade and I go way back."

"It's nice that you have someone besides myself to talk to then." Fugio said in a self deprecating way.

"Don't be foolish Fugio." Jiraiya demanded, "You know I enjoy our conversations." He then looked at Tsunade once again, "Would you like to join me for a drink, for old time's sake?"

Tsunade looked down at the empty glass in her hand and sighed heavily. She wanted to say no over and over again, but by saying no to him, she was also saying no to alcohol. She already had a few drinks, but she was always up for more. She figured a drink or two with her old teammate couldn't be the worst thing ever and reluctantly agreed, "Fine."

Jiraiya knew that she could not resist sake, it was her favorite drink after all. He recalled how they used to drink together on multiple occasions in the past, before all the tragedy Tsunade faced, when they were both still residing in the village. They would talk about whatever random topic that came to mind, and they would laugh at nothing in particular, even at the corniest of jokes they would blurt out. Instead of thinking about the seriousness of the life of a ninja, they would drink their troubles away and enjoy each other's company. He missed those days dearly and would do anything to get them back.

"Lady Tsunade, TonTon and I are going to head back to the room." Shizune told her mentor while gathering the small pig in her arms. She understood that it was no longer appropriate for her to be there since Tsunade and Jiraiya were about to start drinking and she was still a minor. Therefore, she excused herself so that the adults could rekindle their former friendship, "It really was nice seeing you again Master Jiraiya."

Tsunade turned to Shizune before she left, "Remember to keep the door locked. I'll be up soon."

Shizune nodded her head, understanding what her mentor told her and retreated to the room. Tsunade didn't see Shizune as just a mere pupil, she viewed her as her very own child. Furthermore, Shizune was the last piece of Dan she had therefore, she vowed to protect her at all costs.

Now that they were alone, Jiraiya hoped to learn more about the life Tsunade was living after her departure from the Leaf Village. He recalled the last time he saw her. It was the day after the funeral of her boyfriend Dan. Prior to meeting Dan, Tsunade tragically lost her dear younger brother Nawaki due to the war between the Great Nations. He was only twelve years old when he passed away. He was so young, and so full of promise, but the war denied him the chance to live a full life. Tsunade was devastated over the loss of her brother, but then she found happiness again in Dan, and hope for a world without animosity and hatred. Dan was everything she wanted in a man, and he even had the ambition to become the Hokage, just like Nawaki. Tsunade loved him with all her heart, but then he suffered fatal injuries during one of their battles in the war. As a medical ninja, Tsunade tried to save him, but he was too far gone and ended up dying before her very eyes. She then developed a phobia against blood after looking at her love's lifeless body and then at her bloody hands that just could not save his life.

The funeral came and went, but Tsunade could not forget the great man she lost, nor could she recover from her newly developed phobia. She deemed herself unfit to carry out the duties of a ninja, and asked the Third Hokage for permission to leave the village with Shizune in tow. He granted her wish and when Jiraiya found out, he tried to stop her. Of course Tsunade refused to listen to him and left anyway. He never forgot how sad, how broken she looked on that day. It was as if she were a mere shell of the person she once was. The caring, sometimes hot headed woman who carried a deep love for her village was no more and was replaced by a grief stricken person who lost all the hope she had in the world. He so desperately wanted to help her, but she wouldn't allow him to. Instead she left the village and left him wondering if he would ever see her again.

As he sat beside her, he couldn't help but wonder if she somehow managed to recover from all her pain. Was it possible that she found away to pull herself out of the depths of despair? And if she did, why hasn't she returned to the village? He took a sip of his beverage, and watched as she finished hers in just one gulp. She winced slightly as it went down and reached for another glass. In a split second, Jiraiya's eyes managed to lock onto hers and when they did, all his questions were answered. He knew that she was just as traumatized as she was the day she left the Leaf Village. He was certain that the pain she felt was still weighing heavily on her soul, for through her eyes, he saw sorrow, he saw despair, and most of all, he saw helplessness. It was perfectly clear that she was still grieving the great losses in her life.

He wanted to hold her hand and get her to talk to him about her emotions and how she gets up each day with such a heavy burden pulling her down. He wanted to tell her that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. He wanted to show her how to recover, but he knew that she would never listen to him. If he even attempted to bring up her past that was obviously still affecting her in the present, she would surely walk away from him and he would never see her again. So he decided against trying and figured he would move onto lighter topics.

"How long are you in town for?" He asked, focusing on her facial expressions. Over the years he became quite adept at reading her. He could tell how she was feeling by the quiver of her delicate lips, and even in the slightest furrow of her brow. When he asked her that question, he could tell that she almost didn't want to answer it.

She gulped her drink down before answering, "I'm leaving tomorrow." She stated quickly, not adding anything else to the conversation. It was as if she just wanted to sit there and drink instead of engaging in any sort of interaction with her longtime companion.

"Leaving so soon?" Jiraiya asked, "And here I was thinking we could hang out a little more. It has been so long since we've seen each other."

"There's a reason for that Jiraiya." Tsunade said with a slight slur and a pink tint to her cheeks. If she wasn't drunk before, she was surely getting there.

"And what is that?" He asked, wondering what the reason could possibly be.

She took another sip of sake, "Because you're a hopeless idiot."

He couldn't say that he was offended by her sly remark. She always referred to him as either an idiot or a pervert. In fact, her negativity towards him felt very familiar, almost as if it were a comfort to him. So instead of feeling disdain towards her, he laughed and poured her another drink, "Oh come on Tsunade, don't be like that." He started, "You know you missed my handsome face and unmatched charm."

"Like I would ever!" She shouted and punched him on the arm. He held the spot that received the blow and was thankful that she didn't use the full extent of her strength. He should have known not to provoke her, but he was having a good time and felt a strong sense of nostalgia that he couldn't help himself.

"I see you haven't lost any of your strength." He commented, "You haven't lost any of your beauty either."

She looked at him as those words escaped his mouth. She was going to punch him again, but the way in which he made that statement stopped her. He didn't say it as a joke, nor did he say it in order to get a rise out of her. His words were sincere and she didn't quite know how to react. Therefore, instead of inflicting pain on his being, or even saying anything in return, she drank some more.

She looked at the book Jiraiya placed in front of her earlier and wondered if he really became an author. She remembered him going on and on about what the elder prophesied to him so long ago, but she never actually thought that he would follow through with it, "Did you really write this Jiraiya?" She asked while opening the book and skimming through its pages.

"Of course I did." He said, pleased that she was thinking about the novel that took him months to complete.

"What is it even about?" She asked, "Something perverted I'm assuming?"

Jiraiya was known far and wide as an unapologetic pervert, so it wasn't out of the norm for Tsunade to assume that his story was centered around adult topics, "You'll just have to read it to find out."

She rolled her eyes, annoyed that he wouldn't just reveal the book's contents to her when she asked. Nevertheless, she stuffed her copy into the small bag she brought along with her. Perhaps she would read it.

With each passing second, she felt her reflexes slow, and soon she completely lost control of the uptight personality she was trying to embody.

She was soon slumped over on the bar, begging for more alcohol, but Jiraiya and even Fugio could tell that she had enough.

"Jiraiya!" She shouted, "Give me more sake!" She demanded and slammed her fist down on the bar. Thankfully the alcohol in her system suppressed her chakra which prevented her actions from breaking the countertop.

"They're out of sake Tsunade." Jiraiya lied, not really wanting to tell her that she has reached her limit and giving her anymore to drink could lead to alcohol poisoning.

"What?!" She yelled and then suddenly grew tired. She rested her head on the counter of the bar and grumbled in exhaustion, "That's ridiculous!"

Jiraiya realized that due to Tsunade's current state, it was time for them to retreat to their respective rooms. However, Tsunade was too drunk to get to her room safely. Jiraiya knew what he had to do, but under normal circumstances his companion would not be too pleased with him. He paid Fugio for the drinks and rose to his feet to walk over to Tsunade. He placed her bag over his shoulder and held her forearm. As soon as his hand made contact with her skin she pulled away from him.

"Tsunade." He sighed, "We have to go now. Let me help you."

"What makes you think I can't pull myself up?!" She said in a raised voice and proceeded to stand up. But as soon as she was on her feet, she lost her balance and bumped into Jiraiya. He managed to prevent her from falling by grabbing hold of her waist. To Jiraiya's surprise, she didn't try to pull away from him, nor did she punch him for holding her. Instead she leaned into him, clearly exhausted and too drunk to do anything else. He would be lying if he said that having her in such a close proximity to himself had no affect on him. The truth was that he felt calm, almost at home with her in his arms. It was probably wrong of him, but he was glad she was too incoherent for her to object to him taking care of her.

He looked down at the woman who was leaning on him and saw that her eyes were closed. She was falling asleep in his arms and he wished that they could stay like that for just a moment longer, but it was late and he needed to get her to the safety of her room. He looked at Fugio, silently asking him for help, but Fugio didn't know what to do to be of any aid to his friend. Jiraiya realized what he had to do and was almost scared to do it. For all the years he had known Tsunade, he never dared to hold her or do anything more than allow her to take care of herself, but now he had no choice. With his heart beating wildly in his chest, he turned her body so that she was directly facing him and lifted her slightly so that he could carry her bridal style to her room.

Her eyes flickered opened as she was being lifted, "What are you doing?" She grumbled sleepily.

"You need my help to get to your room Tsunade." He told her and then watched as her eyes closed again and as she rested her head against his neck. Was this really happening? He breathed in her delicate scent and felt as if all the feelings he felt for her for many years were coming back and he could no longer suppress them. He peered down at her and was amazed that even in her drunken state, she looked so peaceful as she slept and didn't lose any of her radiant beauty. Against his better judgement, he ran the back of his hand against her rosy cheek. It was a gesture that felt so intimate to him that he was surprised he did it in front of Fugio. He made sure that she was secure in his arms, and afterwards walked out of the café to take her to her room.

It didn't take him too long to arrive at her room. To his surprise, her room was only a few doors down from his and he had no idea. He knocked on the door, hoping that Shizune was still awake. He wasn't quite sure what he would do in the event that Shizune did not open the door. Surely he could not just leave Tsunade outside of her room, and if he were to take her back to his room, she would probably throw a fit the following morning. Thankfully, Shizune opened the door and when she did, Jiraiya wondered why she didn't look concerned at her master's condition. Perhaps she has seen Tsunade drunk more often than she should have.

"She overdid it again didn't she?" Shizune asked and sighed before taking Tsunade's bag from Jiraiya's shoulder. She then opened the door wider so that Jiraiya could enter the room.

Once he was inside he went over to one of the beds and laid Tsunade down, "Does she get like this often?" He asked Shizune.

Shizune walked over to Tsunade and carefully removed the green jacket her mentor was wearing, "All the time." She said with regret, "I'm used to it though." She mentioned, trying to sound as if Tsunade's drunken escapades had no affect on her. To Jiraiya it seemed as if Shizune had to grow up quite fast and act more mature than she should have to. He instantly felt bad for the teenager, but also sympathized with Tsunade for her knew what she had to endure over the years. He wished he could help them, but knew that unless Tsunade wanted the help, it would be impossible.

"Don't worry about us Master Jiraiya." Shizune said, noticing the worried look on his face, "We take care of each other."

Jiraiya then reached for the blanket at the foot of the bed and covered Tsunade with it to ensure that she wasn't cold. He looked down at her once again and could only imagine her internal suffering. The pain she felt must have been tremendous, "Tsunade," He started, "It was so good to see you again, I've missed you. I hope you decide against leaving town tomorrow." He said, certain that she would not recall him saying those words to her the following day. He then placed a gentle hand on Shizune's shoulders, "Try to get some sleep." He told the young girl before letting himself out of the room in order to return to his.

Shizune settled in her own bed, exhausted from the day's activities but before she turned the light out she heard her master's voice.

"Shizune." Tsunade said, "I think we'll be staying in town longer than we planned to." She informed the girl before falling into a deep, alcohol induced slumber.

Shizune smiled to herself, knowing very well why Tsunade decided to stay in that town for longer than anticipated, "Goodnight Lady Tsunade." She said and turned the light off for the duration of the night.


	3. The Hangover

Jiraiya woke up the following morning hoping that somehow Tsunade was still in town. He was painfully aware of the fact that she more than likely would have already been gone due to how adamant she was on leaving the night before. Nevertheless, he wished she was still there. There were so many things he wanted to tell her, and he was desperate to learn more about how the years have treated her. It was probably never going to happen, but he wanted her to open up to him about her pain. Perhaps he could help her through her trauma.

After readying himself for the day ahead, he found himself at the door of his longtime companion's room. He was hesitant to knock for he didn't want to be disappointed in the event that he would receive no answer. Instead, he pressed his ear against the wooden door and listened closely, trying to detect some kind of presence in the room. After a few moments of careful listening, he could tell that the room was vacant. He felt defeated when he realized that Tsunade probably left town early in the morning so as to avoid seeing him entirely. Once again, he felt like a complete failure.

He forced himself down to the café instead of wallowing in self pity in the privacy of his room. He didn't want to carry on with his life as if he didn't feel such sorrow, but also refused to allow himself to sink into a depression. Therefore, he decided on having something to eat and even talking to his new friend just to get his mind off of the sadness he felt. When he entered the café, he saw Fugio serving a patron some food, and in the corner of the room he saw none other than Shizune, eating food with her faithful pet pig sitting next to her. His heart leapt with joy upon seeing the adolescent, for if she was there that meant Tsunade was close by.

He immediately walked over to Shizune and placed his hand on her shoulder to gain her attention. She then looked up at him with a gentle smile on her face, pleased to see him there, "Hello Master Jiraiya." She said respectfully.

Jiraiya looked around the room to see if he could spot his favorite blonde woman, but was unsuccessful. He wondered where she could be, "Hi Shizune." He said, "Where's Tsunade?"

Shizune sighed, "She's probably still asleep." She said, "She's hungover again."

Jiraiya should have known that Tsunade would be feeling the affects of heavy drinking. She overdid it the night before, and Jiraiya was partly to blame for that. He wanted to spend time with her and the only way he could without her objecting to it is if alcohol was involved. Now he understood why he assumed that her room was empty, she was probably just asleep.

"I know I'm to blame for that Shizune." Jiraiya said, "I'm sorry."

Shizune shook her head, "It's not a problem Master Jiraiya. I know how to take care of her when she's like this." She explained, "After I'm done eating I'll go up there and help her." Shizune was so mature for her young age. However, it was rather unfortunate that she was left to clean up Tsunade's act when she should be spending her time on her ninja studies like other shinobi her age. Even so, Shizune's love and respect for Tsunade ran deep. Therefore, taking care of her mentor's drunken state and nursing her back to sobriety had no affect on the young girl. But still, Jiraiya felt as if he owed it to her to give her a break. Furthermore, he wanted the opportunity to get to have that long anticipated conversation with Tsunade.

"Don't worry about Tsunade," Jiraiya started, "I'll head on up and take care of her."

Shizune looked at Jiraiya with a perplexed look on her face, "Are you sure about that Master Jiraiya?" She asked, "I wouldn't want to burden you."

"It's no trouble at all Shizune." Jiraiya assured the girl, "After all, if anyone knows how to nurse one of Tsunade's hangovers it's me."

In the past, when they were both living in the Leaf Village, Jiraiya and Tsunade would get drunk together on many occasions. Often times, their drinking sessions would lead to long nights of drunken bliss, but then slow mornings of terrible hangovers. As a result, Jiraiya has become quite adept at knowing exactly what Tsunade needed to recover from nights spent with bottles upon bottles of sake.

"Okay then Master Jiraiya." Shizune smiled, knowing that Jiraiya really just wanted to spend more time with her mentor, "I'll leave it to you."

Shizune finished her meal then announced that she was going to explore the town some more and perhaps even take TonTon on a walk around a nearby park. In all honesty, Shizune was just trying to come up with random things to busy herself with so that Tsunade and Jiraiya would have more time rekindle their complicated yet close friendship. She just wanted Tsunade to be happy and felt as if Jiraiya could bring her the happiness she so desperately needed. She didn't know why, but was of the belief that Jiraiya could also fix Tsunade's broken spirit.

After Shizune left with TonTon, Jiraiya walked over to Fugio and placed an order for two cups of strong coffee, and two slices of toast with raspberry preserves on the side to go.

"Is this for your friend?" Fugio asked while placing the food in a brown paper bag and handing Jiraiya the cups of coffee in a cup holder.

Jiraiya nodded his head, confirming Fugio's question, "I thought I would surprise her with a little pick-me-up." Jiraiya told the older man, "She's a bit under the weather today."

"She doesn't say much, but I think underneath her tough exterior she's a nice lady." Fugio said. He really didn't know anything at all about Tsunade, but after seeing how Jiraiya was doing everything he possible could to be around her proved that maybe there was more to Tsunade than what meets the eye.

"She's been through a lot Fugio." Jiraiya started, "There's definitely a soft side to her, it just takes a while to see it."

Jiraiya collected the food items, paid what he owed and made his way up to Tsunade's room. He was hoping that she wouldn't still be sleeping. He knocked twice on the door but received no answer. He surely didn't want to walk away and dismiss his venture as a wasted opportunity. He was almost positive that if she knew he was trying to pay her a visit, she wouldn't open the door. He had to think of another way to get her to let him in. Suddenly, a brilliant idea popped into his mind. He gently placed the paper bag that contained the food on the ground along with the cups of coffee and weaved a few hand signs before he transformed into Shizune's likeness. Now that he looked identical to the young girl, and even carried her girlish voice, he knocked on the door again and then retrieved the food from the ground.

"Lady Tsunade!" He said loudly, positive that she could hear him, "It's me, Shizune! I forgot my key. Can you please open up?" He then heard movement in the room as if someone was getting out of bed to open the door. The closer she came to the door, the more clearly he could hear her muttering expletives under her breath. He wanted to laugh at Tsunade's foul mouth, but tried his best to stay in character.

Suddenly, the door opened and there stood Tsunade. She was dressed in a long white t-shirt that stopped just above her knees, her hair was out of its usual ponytails, her face was completely makeup-free, her cheeks were bright red, and her eyes looked tired. Overall, she looked quite disheveled and Jiraiya has never seen her like that before. Despite her haggard appearance, she was gorgeous in his eyes.

"Why the hell would you forget your key?" She asked in annoyance, "I was trying to sleep off this hangover."

"I'm sorry Lady Tsunade, but I brought you some food." Jiraiya said and held out the food so Tsunade could see, "I think it will help."

Upon seeing the food, Tsunade felt a wave of nausea overcome her being and immediately ran to the bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach. Jiraiya shut the door behind him and joined her in the bathroom to be of any assistance to her. As she was throwing up, Jiraiya took it upon himself to hold her hair so it wouldn't get caught in the mess coming from her mouth, and also rubbed her back with his free hand. He knew that if he wasn't transformed as Shizune, she would have kicked him out the moment she saw him.

After her vomiting episode was through, she sat on the bathroom floor for a minute before gathering enough strength to stand. Jiraiya helped her up when he noticed she no longer wanted to be sitting on the floor.

"Thanks Shizune." She said, "I'm going to take a shower. I feel disgusting." As soon as she said that she started to lift the fabric of her shirt off her body. As she rose it above her thighs, Jiraiya was almost disappointed to see that she was wearing shorts underneath. With each inch the shirt moved up by, he could feel his heart beat faster and faster in anticipation of what was to come. She was just about to remove the rest of the shirt that was covering her breasts when Jiraiya saw her fist coming in his direction. With one excruciating punch, he was knocked senseless against the bathroom wall and his transformation was interrupted. He was now back in his regular form and was cowering in fear of the angered Sannin.

She walked towards him with a look of rage plastered on her face and grabbed the neckline of his shirt forcefully, "You're such a pervert Jiraiya!" She shouted, "I knew it was you the entire time! I may be out of commission at the moment but I'm still just as skilled as you are!"

Jiraiya should have known better. Tsunade was a famed ninja so of course she could see through the simplest of transformation jutsus. His plan was essentially ruined, "I just came to bring you some food and help you recover from the hangover that I caused you to have." He nervously laughed, trying his best to make light of the situation.

"This isn't my first hangover Jiraiya. I can take care of myself." She reminded him and rolled her eyes, finding this entire situation to be ridiculous but extremely reminiscent of the good old days.

"I'm well aware of that, but for once can you just allow me to do this." He said and anticipated her throwing him out, "Please?"

She was about to deny his request, but he seemed as if he really wanted to help. Reluctantly she agreed to let him stay, "Fine." She sighed, "But you stay out there while I take a shower." She pointed to the bedroom, "And if you try to take a peek you're dead. Understood?"

Jiraiya nodded his head, knowing very well what would happen if he tried to watch as Tsunade showered. He obediently went into the bedroom and sat on the small chair that was in the corner of the room. As he sat there waiting, he turned his attention to the side table next to his seat. He saw his novel sitting on the table and reached for it. He noticed that the book was marked with a bookmark and was surprised to see that the reader almost completed the novel. He smiled to himself knowing that even though Tsunade appeared to be unimpressed with his new ambition of being an author, she still took the time to read the book. There really was so much more to her than her hardened exterior.

Tsunade walked out of the bathroom wearing a simple gray shirt and black shorts, looking more awake than before, but still under the weather. She walked over to her bed and immediately sat on it and looked at Jiraiya flipping through his novel, "It's actually pretty good." She said, "I thought it would be a ridiculous perverted novel, but I must say I'm quite impressed."

Jiraiya smiled at her compliment, for she rarely ever had a kind word to say to him and walked over to the bed with the cups of coffee and food he brought along with him. He sat directly in front of Tsunade on the bed and handed her a cup, "I'm glad you like it." He said then pulled out a slice of toast and smeared it with raspberry preserves before handing it to Tsunade in a napkin, "I figured you wouldn't be in the mood for a full breakfast."

"Thanks." She said and then took a sip of the coffee, "It's good."

"So I couldn't help but notice that your things aren't packed." He said while looking around the room. Her articles of clothing as well as Shizune's were still unpacked in the room, it was as if they had no intentions of leaving just yet, "I thought you were leaving today."

"About that." Tsunade started before taking a bite out of her toast, "Shizune wanted to stay a while longer. She does so much for me so this is the least I can do for her." She lied.

"I didn't know Shizune was interested in little rural towns." He said, obviously seeing through Tsunade's lie.

Tsunade knew she was caught in her lie, but didn't want to reveal her reason for staying to Jiraiya. The truth was that she stayed because of him.

"You know you're staying because you missed me so much." He teased and received a deadly glare from the blonde, "Relax, it's a joke." He said, trying to calm her down, "But I sure missed looking at you." He smiled.

After his remark, she threw a pillow in his face not only to get him to shut up, but also to conceal the blush that rose to her cheeks for a second. She would be lying if she said that she didn't miss seeing him as well. It has been years and years of emotional turmoil on her part, but that didn't prevent her from thinking about her white haired friend from time to time. Sometimes she wondered about where he was and what he was doing. Despite the fact that she ridiculed him, and brought him physical pain, she actually cared about him and valued their friendship.

She often wondered about the happenings in the village. Was it thriving? Or was it still war stricken? She was not entirely sure, but felt compelled to ask Jiraiya, for he of all people should have known. She yawned, clearly exhausted due to her hangover and laid across the bed on her back, staring up on the ceiling.

"Jiraiya." Tsunade said, somewhat apprehensive to ask all the questions that were running through her mind.

"What's up?" He asked, encouraging her to speak to him.

She sighed before speaking up, "How's the village?"

Now that was unexpected. He didn't think she would ask about the place she abandoned years ago. He thought that she put the love she had for the village behind her, but obviously she still cared if she decided to ask about it. He smiled knowing that the Tsunade he grew up with was still in there and was maybe trying to come out, "The village is just fine Tsunade." He said and watched as she exhaled in relief, "We're not in a war, the nine tails is contained, and everything is peaceful for the most part." He explained, "And Minato is the Fourth Hokage."

Tsunade was shocked to hear that the boy Jiraiya mentored was now the most respected and skilled ninja in the village. She couldn't believe how things have changed so drastically in a matter of a few years of her being absent, "Minato Namikaze, your student is Hokage?" She repeated, making sure she was hearing correctly, "You must be so boastful now." She rolled her eyes, but was impressed nevertheless.

Jiraiya laughed, "Of course I have to show off a little. But I promise you that it's all because of Minato's drive and natural abilities. I just steered him down the right path." He said, proud to have mentored such an exceptional ninja, "He's also about to become a father. Kushina is nine months pregnant with a son, and they named me his godfather."

"You're going to be the kid's godfather?" She chuckled, "That's hilarious."

"What's so funny about that?" He asked, wondering why she found that detail to be so amusing.

"Come on Jiraiya." She said and turned on her side, holding her head up by the palm of her hand, "You're not much of the father type. You're going to corrupt the poor kid with your perverted ways."

Jiraiya wasn't the nurturing type, and he had no clue on how to parent a child. But he knew without a doubt that he would love Minato's child and would do his best to help in whatever way they needed him to. Maybe he didn't know much about parenting, but he would surely try to figure it out, "Maybe I'll surprise you."

It suddenly grew quiet as Tsunade's next question came to mind. She was somewhat worried after hearing about Minato's promotion to Fourth Hokage because what did that mean for the Third Hokage? Was he alright? Why did he step down from his post of commander and chief for all ninja?

"How's Sarutobi Sensei?" Tsunade asked in a meek voice, eager to hear the answer but also afraid of it. Out of all her teammates, she was probably the closest to the Third. That was more than likely due to the fact that she was the only female member of the team, and because Sarutobi had a connection to her grandfather and grand uncle. He always had a soft spot in his heart for Tsunade and was saddened by her decision to leave the village, but also understood her reasonings for going. Tsunade would be devastated if anything happened to the man who taught her everything she knew about being a ninja.

"He's doing great Tsunade." Jiraiya said quickly, knowing well that Tsunade was anxious about the answer to her question, "He's in good health and just decided to step down to spend more time with Lady Biwako. Don't worry, I promise you he's fine."

"I'm glad to hear that." She said in relief. At least she knew that her sensei was alright. She closed her eyes and tried to remember all the times she spent with him and her team. Those were happy memories that she would never forget. Sometimes she wished she could relive those days when everything seemed to be so simple. But that was impossible and this was her reality now. Traveling from village to village, and trying so hard to escape the pain she felt within.

For the past few years, she experienced sleepless nights, was plagued with gruesome, terrifying nightmares, suffered endless tears, and was in a constant state of depression. That was her life now, and she just could not get away from it. She couldn't pull herself out of the dark hole she was forced into no matter how hard she tried, or how strong she claimed to be. She was tired, so tired of it all and just wanted to disappear from her world and move on to one where those she loved dearly were still alive and well.

"Do you ever miss it Tsunade? Our home, our team, everything?" He asked but soon realized that she drifted off to sleep, "Tsunade?" He said and gently touched her shoulder to ensure she was asleep. When she didn't stir, confirming that she was indeed sleeping he said, "Do you ever miss me?"

He watched as she slept. She looked so peaceful, but he could only imagine how she felt on the inside. She was a traumatized person who had many burdens weighing her down. She deserved happiness, but life's cruel circumstances robbed that from her. He reached for a blanket that was balled up beside him and covered her small body in its warmth. He then removed some stray hair from her face to ensure that she was comfortable as she slept. He was so gentle with her as if she were fine China and wished that he could care for her the way he was for the rest of his life. If only she would let him. He left her to sleep and retreated to the balcony where he would sit and wait for Tsunade to wake up.

The sun was about to set when Tsunade woke up from her slumber, feeling much better than she had been for the entirety of the day. She raised her arms above her head in an attempt to loosen her muscles. Suddenly she remembered that Jiraiya was in her company before she fell asleep. She wondered if he left while she was sleeping, but her suspicions were confirmed when she saw him sitting out on the balcony. Wondering why he was still in her room instead of out doing as he pleased, she got out of bed and joined him on the balcony.

"What are you still doing here?" She asked, moving next to him, "You better not have done anything stupid while I was sleeping."

He got up from his seated position and stood next to her staring into her hazel eyes, "I just wanted to make sure that you were alright."

"I'm fine Jiraiya." She stressed, "I'm not hungover anymore."

He shook his head. She clearly did not understand what he meant, "I'm not talking about that Tsunade."

She was somewhat confused by Jiraiya's words and how he was looking at her, as if he were peering into her damaged soul, "What do you mean?"

He reached for her hand and held it with his as if he were offering her support, "How have you been coping the loss of Dan?" He blurted out.

She pulled her hand out of his grasp, shocked that he would bring up a conversation she desperately wanted to avoid. She was not ready to talk about her trauma so instead of saying anything, she crossed her arms over her chest, almost as if she was protecting herself from the pain the mention of her beloved's name caused her to have.

Jiraiya realized that she was unwilling to talk, but he couldn't stop there. He needed to get her to speak of her past so that she could move on from it, "What about how you've been dealing with Nawaki's passing?" He asked, but once again received no answer, "Do you still fear blood?"

She couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't handle the unbearable pain of hearing the names of those she held so close to her heart. With each passing second, she felt the walls she put around herself crumble, leaving her exposed and vulnerable. She was about to completely break and just couldn't stand the thought of showing her emotions to Jiraiya. She wouldn't allow herself to appear to be weak, "I think you should go Jiraiya." She said and tried to walk away from him, but he stopped her by grabbing hold of her upper arm.

"No Tsunade." He said, "Not until you talk to me."

"Let me go Jiraiya." She said in a weak voice. For all the years he has known her, he has never heard her sound so small, so broken. It almost broke his heart to hear her sound so distraught. The fact that she asked him to let go of her instead of using her brute strength to escape from his grip, was proof enough that the losses in her life have drastically affected her.

"Not until you talk to me." He said, refusing to let her go, "I'm only trying to help you."

She could no longer hold her emotions it. A fresh stream of tears ran down her reddened cheeks. She felt ridiculous to be crying in front of her old teammate, but she just could not help herself, "I miss them everyday, and I don't think I will ever get over it." She admitted and broke down into sobs.

Instinctively he wrapped her in his arms as she cried. He never thought that she could cry the way she did. But there she was, a sobbing mess and all he wanted to do was to make it better. In a matter of seconds, she was too distraught to stand and therefore sunk to the floor within Jiraiya's embrace. The two sat on the ground of the balcony for quite a while until Tsunade's tears subsided. Too embarrassed to look him in the eye, she laid her head in his lap while sniffling and thinking about how her life turned out the way it did. She used to be so happy but life decided that it wasn't in the cards for her to remain happy. Perhaps it was just her destiny to be miserable.

He rubbed her head in an attempt to soothe her. He genuinely felt so bad for her and wished that there was something he could do to fix her unfortunate situation. He felt worthless, so he continued to comfort her, thinking that it was the very least he could do. He knew well that sweet words of encouragement would offer her no solace nor would any lengthy lecture. All he could do for her was sit there while holding her close, allow her to lay her weary head in his lap, and listen to her quiet sobs.

"You're going to be okay no matter what Tsunade." He told her, hoping that it would somehow make a difference, "I know how strong you are, but I'll always be there for you."

She turned her head in order to look up at the man who has been doing nothing but trying to help her through a difficult time in her life. She recalled him saying those exact words to her when she first left the village, but she didn't give him the time of day nor did she give everything he was offering her a second thought. She was so set on walking away from the village that carried too many memories of her loved ones that she couldn't think of anything else or consider any other option. This time around, was she willing to let him help her?

She was about to speak when they heard a key turn in the door. Surely it was Shizune returning from a long day of site seeing and doing anything she could think of to give the two Sannin more time to reconnect. Tsunade suddenly sprung to her feet and wiped away her tears, trying so hard to appear as if she was not just crying. Jiraiya got up from his seated position as well.

"I'm back." Shizune announced as she walked through the door.

"Now that Shizune's back you no longer need to babysit me Jiraiya." She said, clearly not wanting Shizune to discover what had transpired before she walked through the door.

Jiraiya picked up on what Tsunade was trying to convey and decided to go along with it, "Thanks for relieving me Shizune." He smiled at the young girl, "Take care of her." He instructed more serious than he intended to sound. The truth was that if he was not able to care for Tsunade, he wanted Shizune to be there for her. Despite Tsunade's constant rejections, he still held her best interest at heart.

He walked out the room and shut the door behind him. Only when he heard Tsunade tell Shizune that she was going to head to bed, did he move off from standing in front of the closed door. He felt his heart weigh heavy with the sorrow he felt for Tsunade after witnessing her cry and seeing her struggle to recover.


	4. A New Flame

Tsunade could not sleep. Never in her life did she think that thoughts of her old teammate would keep her up at night. She spent the majority of her life telling herself over and over again that she would never harbor any feelings for him. Yet here she was, suffering from insomnia and experiencing butterflies in her stomach all because of Jiraiya and they way he held her as she cried, and his sweet words that made her feel as if she wasn't alone in the world.

She hasn't seen him in years, after she removed herself from the village and adopted a nomadic lifestyle. She isolated herself and Shizune from everything that would remind them of their home, including old friends. She convinced herself that her decision to leave everything behind was the solution to all her problems. But now as she laid there unable to sleep, did she begin to question herself and her motives behind leaving her home. Was it right of her to rip Shizune away from the only home she has ever known? Was it just of her to rob the Leaf Village of one of their best ninjas? Was she just being selfish when she made the decision to leave?

She remembered every detail of the day she left the village vividly. It was the day after Dan's funeral when she felt as if she couldn't exist in a world where he didn't. She was traumatized to say the very least. As she sat in her home during the lowest point in her life, secluding herself from everyone who was trying to reach out to her, she felt as if she could not breathe. Anxiety ripped throughout her body, rendering her inconsolable. In every corner of her home, she could see Dan and because of that she couldn't remain there. She immediately ran out her house and went to see the Third Hokage. After begging him to leave the village, he granted her request with a heavy heart. She then returned to her dwelling, packed what she could and took Dan's orphaned niece along with her. As she was about to walk out the village gates, Jiraiya stopped her. He had a look of sadness on his usual happy face and pleaded with her to stay with him. He promised that he would take care of her and make her happy again, but she wouldn't listen. She was lost in her own grief and too crippled by her internal pain that she disregarded everything he was offering her and walked out of the village and his life without saying goodbye.

Now years later, she felt as if she were in the same predicament. Jiraiya once again offered to be her safe haven, and she was conflicted on what to do. A part of her wanted to take him up on his offer and start the healing process. However, she felt guilty, almost as if she would be betraying Dan by allowing another man to be there for her. She even felt ashamed at the feelings she suddenly gained for Jiraiya. After the kindness he showed her and the comfort he offered her, she started to see him in a different light and felt an attraction towards him that she never has before. For years she was certain that Dan was the one she loved tremendously and she vowed to herself to never let another man in her life. Could it be that what she always thought to be true was actually fiction? Is it possible that Jiraiya, the one she chastised for the majority of her life, was the one she was meant to be with all along unbeknownst to her?

She rolled over in bed so that she was on her side and was facing the balcony. She recalled how she broke down before Jiraiya's eyes, and how he did not waver in comforting her. It was as if he were her security blanket as she was wrapped in his arms. She felt safe and as if it were natural to be in his embrace. Despite the fact that she abandoned him, he still wanted to be there for her. Anyone else would have just given up on her, but not Jiraiya. He has proven time and time again that no matter what, he would always be there for her. So should she give him a chance?

She wondered how different her life would have been, if she allowed herself to stay in the village with Jiraiya. Would she be happy? Would she have been able to overcome her debilitating fear of blood? Would she actually be in a relationship with the toad sage? She had no idea, and probably would never know unless she gave in to Jiraiya's offer. But it wasn't that simple. She felt that if she were to give Jiraiya a chance, it would somehow diminish Dan's memory, and that was something she could not stand to think about. This was not a decision she could make overnight. She needed time to think so she closed her eyes, hoping and praying that sleep would grace her.

Tsunade opened her hazel eyes and felt exhausted. She didn't sleep well that night due to her conflicting thoughts and her rather emotional state. Despite her restless night, she woke up at noon which was unusual for her. She was normally an early riser, mostly because Shizune would wake her, but that day was different. Tsunade sat up in bed and saw Shizune sitting in the corner of the room reading Jiraiya's novel. The young girl didn't wake her. Instead, she allowed her to sleep. Could it be that Shizune picked up on Tsunade's change in persona? Did she know how emotionally troubled she felt?

"Shizune, why didn't you wake me?" Tsunade asked, getting out of bed and walking towards her apprentice.

Shizune looked up from the book she was reading and tried to come up with something to say. She was well aware of the fact that ever since Jiraiya came around, Tsunade has been acting differently. However, she wanted her mentor to think that she was oblivious to it all, "You seemed to be tired so I left you to sleep." Shizune explained.

"But it's past noon." Tsunade mentioned, "We missed breakfast. You must be hungry."

Shizune shook her head, "I'm not that hungry." She lied, "It doesn't matter anyway. We can just get some lunch from the café."

"Give me some time to get ready and then we'll go." Tsunade said before heading into the bathroom to get herself ready for the day. She felt bad that Shizune was waiting around for her once again instead of taking care of herself first. Sometimes she felt as if she didn't deserve to have Shizune. She was an emotional wreck and it wasn't fair for Shizune to be left to pick up the pieces and act as the responsible adult in their little unit. Tsunade wished she could change for Shizune's sake.

The two women made their way down to the café after Tsunade took a shower and got dressed. As usual, the café wasn't very populated except for one or two patrons. Tsunade took her time to observe her surroundings and was grateful that Jiraiya was nowhere in sight. It wasn't as though she didn't want to be around him. In reality, she wanted to be in his company. However, her mind was not yet made up and seeing Jiraiya in her state of confusion would not make for an ideal situation.

Fugio noticed that Tsunade and Shizune entered his establishment and decided to greet them, "Hello you two." He said as he walked over to them, "How are you doing?"

"We're good, thank you." Shizune said politely while Tsunade continued to look around, "We just came for lunch." She explained.

"It's a shame you guys came so late." Fugio started, "Jiraiya was just here and I'm sure he would have been thrilled to have lunch with you two." He then looked at Tsunade with a smile, "He talks about you all the time."

Tsunade's heart started to beat faster than normal at the mention of Jiraiya's name, and when she learned that he has been speaking about her, a bright red tint rose to her cheeks. She felt like a ridiculous love-sick teenager, but could not let that be known to the two people in her company so she tried to play it off, "I've known Jiraiya for a long time." She said, "I hope he hasn't told you any horror stories of me."

"Quite the opposite." Fugio said.

Tsunade wanted to run out the café and into her room to barricade herself after hearing what Fugio had to say, but reminded herself to keep her composure.

"Perhaps we should have a seat and order Lady Tsunade." Shizune suggested, sensing that Tsunade was starting to feel overwhelmed.

They sat at a vacant table and skimmed through the menu before ordering their meals. Shizune ordered a bowl of noodles while Tsunade settled on some miso soup. Fugio left to fulfill their order which gave Tsunade the perfect opportunity to have a meaningful conversation with her apprentice. She needed to know how Shizune felt about traveling from village to village for all those years. Tsunade really had no clue if it was something that Shizune wanted or if it was just something she was forced to become accustomed to. Tsunade valued Shizune's opinions and just wanted her to be happy in a world of darkness. But what if Shizune admitted her disdain for the constant traveling over the years? Would Tsunade be willing to return to the place she abandoned years ago just to appease Shizune? Would it be something that she could handle? Or would the village just serve as a constant reminder of all that she has lost?

"Shizune." Tsunade said and gained the raven-haired girl's attention, "I need to ask you something."

Shizune didn't know what to expect from Tsunade. She knew that she has been different in many ways ever since they encountered Jiraiya. She wondered if Tsunade's sudden need to ask her a question had anything to do with the white-haired Sannin, "What is it Lady Tsunade?" She asked, eager but also apprehensive to hear what Tsunade was about to say.

"Do you resent me for taking you away from the village?" Tsunade asked, scared to discover the answer.

Shizune thought about it for a second before answering Tsunade. The Leaf Village was her home and it was all she has ever known back when she was just a young girl. The village held so many memories of her late parents and uncle that she would never forget. She always thought that she would be enrolled in the ninja academy and study to become a full fledged ninja, but life had other plans for her. She never expected to lose her parents at such a young age, and then to have her uncle who served as her guardian and only other living family member taken away from her as well. She felt lost, and was burdened with despair when those turn of events occurred in her life. But then Tsunade took her in and acted as her guardian angel who raised her up in a time when she thought her life was over and could not stand on her own. It was Tsunade who saved her. Yes, she had to leave the village, but what would have happened to her if she remained there by herself? She walked away from her home, but in the midst of all that, she gained another family member who she loved with every fiber of her being. How could Tsunade possibly think that she resented her?

Shizune reached across the table and held her hand tightly, "I could never resent you Lady Tsunade." She assured her mentor, "You were the light in a world I was certain was dark. You made me see that there is life after death. I know you have your own cross to bear in that respect, but you guided me out of my internal struggle and lifted me up."

A calming sense of relief washed over Tsunade's being. Despite the fact that Tsunade refused to have a life for herself after losing so many near and dear to her heart, she never made Shizune feel the same. She always made it a point of duty to show her that regardless of the fact that her parents and uncle were no longer around, Shizune was and she had a life to live. She wanted Shizune to be happy. She didn't want her unfortunate circumstances to harden her and make her into a fraction of the bubbly child she once was. She wanted her to be so much more and sometimes Tsunade felt as if she didn't deserve to have Shizune in her life. She was such an understanding, kind hearted soul. Despite Tsunade's insecurities on what kind of mother figure she was to Shizune, she was happy that she still had her.

"I know that you truly loved my uncle and would have spent the rest of your life with him if he hadn't died." Shizune said, "I know how heartbroken you were and that you needed to get away from it all, and in order to do that you needed to move away from the village." She explained, "I've never held that against you. Everyone grieves in their own way and that's how you chose to do it. I just want you to know that no matter what, I'll always be right by your side."

Tsunade squeezed Shizune's hand with a tender smile on her face and tears that she refused to let fall, "What did I do to deserve you?" She asked.

Fugio arrived with their meals and placed it on the table before leaving them once again. They took their time consuming their food, trying to savor the tender moment they just shared with each other. Tsunade was relieved that Shizune opened up to her the way she did. They never had such an emotional, transparent conversation like that before. Most of the time Tsunade was trying to hide her emotions from Shizune, but now she knew that the younger woman was aware of Tsunade's struggle to find happiness the entire time. She suddenly no longer saw Shizune as a child who followed her on all her travels. Instead she started to view her as a companion who she could perhaps open up more to. Throughout the years, Tsunade never allowed Shizune to see her break down. Yes, Shizune has been witness to Tsunade 's drunken moments on many occasions, but she never saw her cry. It was as if Tsunade was trying to keep that from her. But now Tsunade felt as if she could be more honest with her.

After they ate and paid their bill, Shizune expressed her desire to explore the town some more. She invited Tsunade to accompany her, but Tsunade did not feel like walking around town at the moment. She still had a decision to make, and would be unable to concentrate on it if she were occupied with taking in the sights of the town.

"You go on ahead Shizune." She said, "I'll see you later back in the room. Have fun." Tsunade then decided to head back to their accommodations in order to think some more about her situation.

She started to walk through the lobby of the inn when she saw Jiraiya speaking to a woman at the front desk. The woman appeared to be younger than the Sannin and was quite chesty. She was obviously Jiraiya's type. It was only when she placed her hand on Jiraiya's upper arm in a suggestive way that Tsunade felt her anger reach its boiling point. Just as she was about to walk away, she saw Jiraiya look up at her. He walked away from the girl without saying a word and tried to catch up to the now infuriated blonde.

"Tsunade wait!" He called out as he tried to catch up to her, but she would not slow down. She kept on walking as if she didn't hear him calling out to her. He eventually managed to catch up to her and when he did he grabbed hold of her arm to prevent her from moving off again. When his hand made contact with her upper arm, he watched as she raised her free hand to his face and slapped him across his cheek.

"Don't touch me!" She shouted and gained the attention of others who occupied the same space as the former teammates.

When Jiraiya saw that their encounter was being put on display he moved them out of the view of other guests and proceeded to talk to Tsunade, "What's wrong Tsunade?" He asked, "Why are you so mad?"

She didn't know what to say. She wasn't certain why she was so upset upon seeing Jiraiya talk to another woman. They weren't an item and she wasn't supposed to have feelings for him. So why was she so angry?

"I don't know." She answered him in a small voice, clearly confused at her actions.

Jiraiya could tell that she was going through something that he couldn't explain himself. He cautiously took her hand in his, relived that she didn't slap him again for touching her, and led her into his room.

Once they were in the privacy of his room, he shut the door and put his hands on her tiny shoulders that seemed to have carried the weight of the world and stared deeply into her sad eyes, "Tsunade." He said, "Tell me, what's going on in your head?"

How could she stand there and tell him that his image has invaded her mind and the comfort he offered her caused her to become weak at the knees? How could she possibly express that after all the years of constantly rejecting him, she was actually falling for him? She didn't know how to articulate her words, and looking into his eyes was doing nothing but making her heart melt. She wanted to tell him everything she has been thinking. She wanted to open up to him. But words failed her so instead of trying to speak, she crashed her lips down onto his.

He couldn't believe it. Was he actually kissing Tsunade? He waited his entire life for this to happen, but now that it was he was confused why. What caused her to have this sudden change of heart? Did she actually want to kiss him? He spent so many years trying to get her to give him a chance at love, but every time he tried, he would be met by bitter rejection. He was almost positive that she would never love him. It pained him, but he had to break away from her in order to figure out just what was going on.

"Tsunade." He said after breaking away from her lips, "What are you doing?"

Instead of speaking, she answered his question with another kiss. His head was spinning with confusion but also with desire for more. He loved her, he knew that to be a fact. But he didn't want to take part in any act of intimacy with her if she didn't feel the same. It would hurt too much to find out afterwards that it held no significant meaning to her. It took a lot out of him, but he managed to break away again.

"Are you sure about this Tsunade?" He asked seriously, "If you don't have any feelings for me, if this means absolutely nothing to you, then please spare me the pain and let's stop now."

She understood where he was coming from. She knew all too well how he felt about her and could understand why he was reluctant to participate in what she wanted to do. Little did he know that Tsunade was not acting on impulse. Instead she did what she did because of what she felt for him. She wrapped her slender arms around his neck and brought her face close to his before claiming his lips with hers once again. This time around, the kiss was tender and held so much meaning that almost brought her to tears. Before they knew it, the kiss transformed into one that was fueled with passion that led them to his bed. Wrapped in each other's embrace, they finally became one after so many years of being apart. They weren't thinking about the past, nor were they concerned with the future. They were living in the moment and nothing else mattered except for the unspoken words of love and the passion they were surprised they had for each other.


	5. Close Your Eyes

"Is this really happening?" Jiraiya wondered out loud as he pulled Tsunade closer to him. He could hardly believe that he finally got the chance to be with the woman he has loved for the majority of his life. Their first intimate encounter was everything he dreamed it would be. It was fueled with unspoken feelings of love and the passion they shared for each other. For a moment he thought he was dreaming, but when he closed his eyes and reopened them to see Tsunade's nude body still wrapped in his arms did he finally believe that it was his new reality.

Kissing her, and holding her close were things he could only dream about in the past, but now he was living his fantasies and never wanted the moment to end. He wondered what caused Tsunade to suddenly change her mind and give him a chance. For years she was adamant on never giving in to his advances, but now it was as if she were a completely different person. The way she touched him, kissed him, and showed her attraction towards him felt foreign to him yet so right. He didn't want to question it. Instead he wanted to savor the passing moments he spent inhaling her intoxicating scent. However, an annoying voice in the back of his head was urging him to confirm his suspicions. Did she feel the same way he felt about her?

"This is really happening, Jiraiya." Tsunade said, breathless from the activity she participated in. She too was having a hard time believing that after so many years they finally became one. But she had no feelings of regret for what they've done. In fact, she was certain that it was what she wanted to do.

"What changed your mind?" He asked in a more serious tone while looking her in the eye, "Did you genuinely want this to happen?"

Tsunade gently caressed his stubble-free cheek and smiled before tenderly pressing her lips against his, "I wouldn't have made love to you if I didn't want to dummy." She said, "I understand why you're hesitant to believe me, but somehow I developed feelings for you." She explained, "Maybe they've been there all along and I refused to acknowledge them, but when you comforted me without hesitation the other night, I knew for sure that you are so much more than just a friend to me."

He kissed her forehead and held her close after hearing those words escape her mouth. For as long as he's known her, he has never heard her say such sweet things to him that for a second he thought he had been imagining it all, "I've always wanted to be there for you Tsunade." He admitted even though he was positive she already knew, "I'm just so happy that you finally gave me a chance."

She watched as he closed his eyes and then squirmed out of his hold to gently remove some stray hairs out of his face so he would be more comfortable as he rested. However, as she gazed at his face with his eyes closed, an unexplained panic overcame her being. Suddenly, an image of Dan's battered and bruised face appeared before her eyes. She remembered stooping before his lifeless, bloody, body, unable to do anything to prevent him from dying. She recalled feeling weak and helpless as she cried over his corpse. A shiver ran down her spine as she looked at Jiraiya in the same position Dan had been in as he died, and shook him awake, when she could no longer stand seeing him with his eyes closed. When he opened his eyes, she breathed a sigh of relief, but still felt uneasy and terrified.

"What's wrong?" He asked as he watched her get out of bed and gather her clothing, "You can stay here with me tonight if that's what you want."

Tsunade shook her head, denying his offer and started to dress herself. As much as she wanted to stay with him, the image she had just seen freaked her out and she needed space. She could have simply told Jiraiya what she had imagined, but feared that he would not understand. It was evident that she was still traumatized over the loss of Dan. The pain she felt was so tremendous that she imagined Jiraiya suffering the same fate. And if he did, she knew for sure that she would not survive it this time around, "Shizune doesn't know where I am." She said, "I should go back to my room so she doesn't worry."

Jiraiya understood why she had to leave him for the night. It wasn't just Tsunade anymore, she also had Shizune to think about. Therefore, he too got out of bed and got dressed, "Let me walk you to your room then."

"You don't have to do that Jiraiya." She said, feeling overwhelmingly frazzled when she recalled Dan wanting to walk her home the first night they met.

He walked over to her and held her delicate yet strong hand, "I know you don't need me to. I'm very aware of the fact that you can take care of yourself and I definitely don't want to change that about you." He said sincerely, "But please let me do this."

She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, "Okay Jiraiya."

The duo walked the short distance to Tsunade's room. As they were walking, Jiraiya couldn't help but pick up on Tsunade's sudden change in mood. She seemed to be apprehensive and in deep thought. He decided not to question her about it out of fear of her walking away from him. Instead, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and hoped that she would not change her mind.

They arrived at the door of her room and before she let herself in Jiraiya pulled her into his embrace. She held onto him tightly as he hugged her and wished that they could stop time and stay that way forever. However, she couldn't seem to shake the uneasiness she felt. He broke their hug and captured her lips with his in a slow and passionate kiss, "I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked after breaking apart, hoping that she would say yes.

She gave him a small smile and nodded her head, agreeing to see him again the following day, "Goodnight Jiraiya." She said before entering her room.

Once she was in the room, she walked over to Shizune's bed and was happy to see her asleep with TonTon curled up next to her. She then sat on the adjacent bed and buried her head in her hands. She was so very confused. She wanted to be with Jiraiya with all her heart, but was she emotionally ready to open herself up to another person? Could she take the risk of being with a person who could potentially die and leave her all alone? She didn't know what to do, so instead of figuring it out in that moment, she allowed the tears to flow out of her hazel eyes until she fell asleep.

The following day, Tsunade and Shizune were walking through town. Tsunade had not seen Jiraiya since the night before, and while she was longing to see him again, she was relieved that they have not come face to face just yet. She was still unsure of what to do about her situation, and seeing him again would make it harder for her to concentrate on deciding on a solution to her problem. She had a hard time falling asleep that night for many reasons. First and foremost, her mind was stuck on the evening of passion they shared. She remembered how she felt so comfortable being completely exposed and vulnerable before his eyes. But then she thought about how she felt that way with Dan, and then he perished. She was well aware of the fact that there was a possibility that Jiraiya would be just fine, but what if he died as well?

"Lady Tsunade." Shizune said, pulling her mentor out of her dark thoughts, "Let's get some sweet dumplings."

Tsunade never had much of a sweet tooth, but for some reason Shizune loved that treat. Tsunade however, had no desire to indulge in a meal she had no interest for, "You know I hate those things Shizune."

Shizune looked somewhat disappointed. She knew that she could go off on her own to get her dumplings, but she didn't necessarily want to go alone. She knew Tsunade was going through a difficult time more than she usually did, and just wanted to spend some time with her and perhaps discover the reason for her mentor's mood. However, she knew that the likelihood of Tsunade telling her of her troubles was very slim.

"Tsunade!" A masculine voice called out.

When Tsunade and Shizune turned around to discover who the voice belonged to, they saw Jiraiya jogging towards them. When he was close enough, he enveloped Tsunade in a tight hug, then gave her a quick peck on the lips. Shizune blushed when she saw Jiraiya kiss her mentor and immediately felt so confused when Tsunade didn't push him away.

"What's going on?" Shizune asked, feeling completely in the dark, "Since when do you guys kiss?!"

Tsunade blushed furiously and grabbed Jiraiya's hand to pull him away from Shizune so that she could speak with him privately, "Why would you kiss me in front of her?" She asked.

"I thought she knew about us." He said honestly before realization dawned on him, "You didn't tell her did you."

Tsunade shook her head, "I haven't told her yet." She admitted, "But now she obviously knows."

"I'm sorry Tsunade." He apologized, "I just assumed she knew."

"Don't worry about it." She told him and forgave him for revealing their relationship status to Shizune.

"Are you guys going to tell me what's going on between you two?" Shizune asked while walking towards the Sannin.

Tsunade didn't know what to say to the younger woman. She didn't know how to describe their relationship herself much less try to explain it to another person. They have not exactly put a title on what they shared for each other. Furthermore, Tsunade was still apprehensive to truly be devoted to him.

"I'm okay with you guys being together if that's what you are." Shizune stated, "I just want you to be happy Lady Tsunade."

Tsunade was well aware of the fact that Shizune only had her best interest at heart and wanted nothing but for her to be happy after all the trauma she lived through. Little did Shizune know however, that while Tsunade was pleased with the uncharted territory she was walking with Jiraiya, she was also painfully terrified.

"You two can spend the day together you know." Shizune suggested, "I really won't mind."

Jiraiya was about to take Shizune up on her suggestion when Tsunade interrupted, "No it's okay Shizune." Tsunade said, "Remember we already had plans to get sweet dumplings together."

"But," Shizune started.

"I'm sure Jiraiya won't mind." Tsunade said, interrupting again while looking at Jiraiya.

"Not a problem." Jiraiya smiled, "You two go have fun, I'll catch up with you later Tsunade."

Tsunade was about to walk off with Shizune when the young woman held her back, "Don't you want to kiss Master Jiraiya goodbye?" She asked with a smile on her face, obviously thrilled with the match, "You don't have to be embarrassed to do that in front of me."

"Shizune, come on." Tsunade said in an annoyed voice, making it known to the raven haired girl that she did not approve of what she was trying to do. However, Jiraiya took advantage of the situation and walked over to Tsunade to kiss her goodbye. He gave her a very 'PG' rated peck on the lips not only to appease Shizune, but because he just could not get enough of Tsunade. She didn't kiss back however, but Jiraiya just thought it was due to Shizune watching them.

"I'll see you later." Tsunade said quickly to Jiraiya then walked off with Shizune.

The two women arrived at a small tea shop on the outskirts of town. It wasn't busy at all as it only hosted two other patrons. They were quickly seated by a middle aged lady who was clearly a waitress at the establishment. Once they settled at a table right beside a window, they were handed menus to browse through in order to decide on their meal selections. Shizune already knew what she wanted since the reason for her going to the shop was to get sweet dumplings. Tsunade on the other hand didn't seem to be hungry at all. Instead of looking through her menu, she gazed out the window and didn't seem to be paying attention to anything in particular.

Shizune was definitely confused. Her mentor was not acting like someone who just got into a relationship with someone she had known for so many years. She was acting distant, and rather pensive and Shizune just could not understand why. The fact that Tsunade blatantly lied to Jiraiya about going with Shizune to eat dumplings was strange and Shizune wondered why she did it. She didn't know much about relationships since she had never been in one herself, but she was certain that Tsunade should have been happier than she appeared to be.

"Ready to order?" The waitress said with a notepad and pen in hand, ready to take their orders.

Shizune nodded her head, "Yes, I would like a cup of green tea, and an order of sweet dumplings." She said and then looked at Tsunade, waiting for her to order.

Tsunade was too busy looking out the window to acknowledge the waitress' presence and to even realize that it was her turn to place her order.

"Lady Tsunade." Shizune said as she reached across the table to touch Tsunade's hand in order to pull her out the depths of her mind.

"What is it?" Tsunade finally said.

"Don't you want to order something?" Shizune asked, feeling very concerned about Tsunade's absentmindedness.

"I'll just have some herbal tea." Tsunade answered and immediately went back to gazing out the window, clearly having something on her mind.

"I'll be right out with your order." The waitress said, "Thank you for your patience."

If Shizune wasn't convinced that something was going on with Tsunade before, after witnessing how distracted her mentor seemed, she was positive that there was something she wasn't telling her, or even Jiraiya.

"Lady Tsunade, is something the matter?" Shizune asked, but received no answer, "Why did you tell Master Jiraiya that we had plans to get dumplings when you made it clear you didn't want to go?" She asked, trying again to get Tsunade to talk. When those questions were left unanswered, she dared to ask another, "Why didn't you want to spend the day with Master Jiraiya? Aren't you together now?"

Tsunade finally turned her attention from whatever she was staring at through the window to the inquisitive girl sitting in front of her. She honestly did not know how to answer Shizune's questions, for she didn't even know what was going on in her mind. How could she simply tell Shizune her fears of Jiraiya dying and leaving her all alone just like Dan did? How crazy and irrational would that make her seem? But as crazy and irrational as it sounded, it was still how she felt, and she could not shake that uneasy feeling. She couldn't stand to think of being alone again and witnessing those she loves fall at her feet. So instead of allowing herself to live in the moment and be happy with Jiraiya, it was almost as if her mind was telling her to sabotage her new relationship and to severe the bond she shared with him. But she couldn't tell Shizune that.

"It's complicated Shizune." Tsunade said.

To Shizune, that answer sounded like a cop out and she wouldn't accept it, "How is it complicated Lady Tsunade?" She asked, "I don't get it."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore Shizune." Tsunade said in a serious tone. It was then that Shizune realized that no matter how many times she asked, Tsunade would not explain herself if she didn't want to. As much as the young girl wanted to know what was going on, she knew that she had to be respectful and let it go.

The waitress then came with their orders and Shizune immediately started to eat the dumplings she seemed to like so much. Tsunade took a few sips of her tea before she became too upset to finish the cup's contents. She knew what needed to be done. Even though she came up with a solution, she found no comfort in it and dreaded the moment when she would have to come face to face with Jiraiya, and tell him what she decided to do.

A few hours later, when the sun was no longer shining, Jiraiya made his way to Tsunade's room. He was excited to see her again and was looking forward to spending some more quality time together. He had the great desire to talk to her about moving forward with their relationship. He wasn't entirely sure if she had any intentions on settling down in a village, but whatever she wanted to do, he would agree to it. It didn't matter to him if she wanted to continue her nomadic lifestyle, and he would be fine if she wanted to stay in one place. As long as he was with her, he would be happy.

He knocked on the door to her room, and after a few moments the door opened. Shizune stood in the door frame with a gentle smile on her face, happy to see the man who had captured her mentor's heart, "Hello Master Jiraiya."

"Hi Shizune." He greeted the young girl, "Is Tsunade around?"

Shizune shook her head, "No master Jiraiya." She said, "She had some business to tend to at the front desk in the lobby." She explained, "I'm sure she'll be back up here soon though."

Jiraiya had no idea what kind of business Tsunade was doing at the front desk but felt compelled to know. Therefore, he decided to meet Tsunade downstairs to figure out what was going on, "I'll meet up with her in the lobby then." He said to Shizune and then headed towards the receptionist area.

As he was walking down the hall, he came across Tsunade who seemed to be surprised upon seeing him. When they were close enough to each other, he gave her a quick hug, clearly happy to see her, "Do you want to go back to my room to talk?" He asked.

She looked up at his kind face and automatically felt terrible, "I can't." She said regretfully in a small, weak voice.

"What's wrong Tsunade?" He asked, noticing that something was not quite right with her.

"I'm leaving town tomorrow." She said in a shaky voice.

"Why?" He asked, shocked that after everything they shared, she was actually going to leave him.

Tears emerged in her honey colored eyes and she felt too ashamed to look up at him. She knew that she was breaking his heart, and hers was shattering in the process.

"Was it something I did?" He asked.

She immediately shook her head and placed a tender hand on his cheek. How could he ever think that he did something to her that caused her to make this decision? She could tell that he was clearly hurt, "It has nothing to do with you." She assured him, "But it has everything to do with me."

He placed his hands on her tiny shoulders, "What do you mean by that Tsunade?"

"I can't be in a relationship with you Jiraiya." She said but knew that saying those words would severely hurt him. It even pained her to say them, "I know it sounds ridiculous but I'm too afraid of what might happen to you if we're together." She said, "If you end up dying I don't think I would be able to survive it. I would probably die along with you and I can't do that because I still have Shizune to think about."

He finally understood why she seemed to be so distant, and why she was choosing to run instead of being with him. She was still just as traumatized as she was the day she lost her brother and her lover. That was when she lost love and all her hope in the world for a bright future. He knew those wounds were still fresh in her life, and no matter how many times he tried, he couldn't heal them for her. That was something she would have to do herself eventually.

He could stand there before her and fill her head with empty promises, but he would not do that. He knew they would only fall on deaf ears because he was aware that he could not guarantee her anything. Life is fleeting, things happen in an instant whether you want them to or not. He could end up dying tomorrow or years from now if that's what the universe had in store for him. How could he possibly make her feel secure enough in something as fickle as life to allow her to give him a chance. He couldn't and therefore knew that as much as it would hurt him, he had to let her go to figure it all out on her own.

He removed the hand she had resting on his cheek and pulled her into his warm embrace. He held her tight, afraid that if he let go, she would disappear and he would never see her again. He wasn't angry with her for making the decision she thought was best for her. Instead, he sympathized with her and fell even deeper in love with her than before. How he wanted to put her pieces back together to make her a whole person again. How he wanted to guide her through the stormy seas of her soul. And how he wanted to pull her out of the depths of despair. But he knew that she had to find her way out on her own and puzzle herself back together. He didn't know how she would do it, but hoped and prayed that somehow she would rise above all her grief and find her way back to him.

"Please stay with me tonight." He begged her, still clinging to her.

"Jiraiya," She said through salty tears, "I can't."

He held her tighter, "If tonight is all we have, please spend it with me."

She pulled herself out of his grasp and looked into his eyes. She was devastated to see that he too had tears in those dark eyes she knew ever since she was a young child, and those same eyes she grew to adore. How could she possibly say no to him? She couldn't, "Okay Jiraiya."

He took her hand in his and led her to his room where they immediately went to lay in bed together. As they laid there facing each other, there were so many things they wanted to say to each other, but words seemed to fail them both. They were too emotional to speak about their pain, and too distraught to discuss anything else.

They laid there together for an hour with their eyes locked on each other, and their fingers intertwined. They were both exhausted, but reluctant to fall asleep, being painfully aware of the fact that when they open their eyes the following day, they would no longer be one. Jiraiya took his free hand and pulled a light blue handkerchief out his pocket and handed it to Tsunade, not to dry her tears, but as a parting gift.

"My father gave this to me when I was a young kid." He started, "He told me that whenever I feel scared or sad that I should take it out and hold it close. He said it would make me feel better. If you ever feel scared or sad or even if you miss me, hold it close and I promise you that you'll feel as if I'm close by."

She took the handkerchief from him and kissed him tenderly, "Jiraiya." She started after breaking apart from their kiss, "You're tired, maybe you should get some sleep."

He shook his head, "If I sleep, that means I won't see you again when I wake up."

She then moved closer to him so that she was nestled against his body, "Jiraiya." She said, "I think I'm in love with you, but I know I have to let that go."

He placed a kiss on her forehead and caressed her cheek, "I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember." He admitted and felt his heart swell with love but also with pain.

"Close your eyes Jiraiya." She whispered and kissed him for the last time.

Reluctantly he closed eyes with a heavy heart. He was terrified of what the future held, but silently hoped that somehow, someday, they could finally be one.


	6. A New Destination

He opened his eyes that morning to see the empty space beside him in bed. The sheets were wrinkled, indicating that someone was once laying there, and her scent was still present within the fabric. Looking around the room he felt lost and empty, as if he were missing an integral part of himself. It was only when he recalled her being next to him the night before that he realized what he was missing was actually her.

He laid in the spot that was supposed to belong to her for the night, imagining her being right there next to him. How he wished that circumstances were different and that she could still be there. However, he knew that until she managed to overcome her grief, she would continue to be miles and miles away. He wanted to love and be loved in return, but she needed to be in the right mindset in order to give her heart fully to him. She needed time to be able to open up and let someone in without fear of that person dying. It would take a significant amount of time, but he was willing to wait even though it pained him to be apart from her.

He didn't know the exact moment when she walked out of the room and out of his life the night before. She must have slipped out when he fell asleep. He wondered if it pained her to leave his side. For a moment, he thought that perhaps she was still nearby. He then sprang out of bed with a newfound jolt of energy ripping throughout his body and made his way down the hall to Tsunade's room. He was hoping that she was still there, but his heart sunk to the floor when he saw housekeeping cleaning the room that she once occupied. She was gone without a trace.

Sadness overcame his being, and all he wanted to do was to retreat to his room and bury himself under the sheets that still carried her scent. But, he refused to give in to self-pity. He forced himself to stay in a healthy mental state for his own sake. As much as he was devastated and heartbroken, he had a feeling that perhaps Tsunade wouldn't want him to be depressed over her decision. He was positive that she would want him to carry on with his life. He went back to his room, not to wallow in his sadness, but to ready himself to set out on yet another journey.

There was no purpose in him remaining in that town. He encountered who he was longing to find and now that she was gone, he didn't want to stay there. He wanted to move on from that place that changed his life and seek out a new adventure. He wasn't sure on what he would do, but knew for sure that he needed a change of scenery.

After freshening up in the bathroom, he packed his belongings. After placing his items in his backpack, he walked around the room to ensure that he was not leaving anything behind. After he gathered his things, he walked out of the room and went downstairs to the receptionist area. He checked out of the inn and paid what he owed. However, before he left town for good, he stopped by the café to say goodbye to Fugio.

When he entered the café, he saw Fugio serving a couple their meal at the table they occupied. Jiraiya stepped further into the café and seated himself at the bar. Fugio noticed that Jiraiya was there and walked behind the counter after he was done attending to his customers.

"Hello Jiraiya." Fugio said and waited for the toad sage to greet him back, "Is something the matter?" He asked when Jiraiya did not acknowledge his presence.

Jiraiya looked up at Fugio, pulling himself out of his thoughts, "Tsunade left." He said, feeling an overwhelming amount of sadness when he said those words out loud. He knew that she was gone, but saying that truth made the reality of it all truly sink in. It hurt that she wasn't there, it severely pained him not knowing when their paths would ever cross again. But as much of an unfortunate situation it was, he understood why it had to be that way. He just wished that he could somehow change those circumstances and make it into a reality where he had the woman he loved the most in his life.

"What do you mean she left?" Fugio asked, not really understanding what Jiraiya meant. From the observations he made when Jiraiya and Tsunade were together, and based on how Jiraiya would speak of Tsunade with such admiration and love, he could tell that their bond was not one that could be broken easily. Therefore, he was having a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that Tsunade simply left Jiraiya alone.

"She left town Fugio." Jiraiya repeated, "She's gone."

The old man retrieved a glass from the cabinet behind him and filled it with iced water before handing it to Jiraiya. He then went into the kitchen and emerged with a plate of two pork dumplings and placed it in front of the Sannin, "Eat this, it was just prepared by the chef." Fugio had no idea if Jiraiya was hungry or not, but felt the need to provide the sage with some kind of comfort.

"I'm really not that hungry Fugio." Jiraiya pressed.

"Look Jiraiya." Fugio started and moved from behind the counter to take a seat beside Jiraiya, "I've had women leave me before and I know how you must be feeling. From what I could see, you really love that woman."

"I've loved her my entire life." Jiraiya said, remembering the very first day he met her.

It was his first day at the academy. He was being rambunctious as usual, trying to get the attention of all the girls in the class. Of course, all his efforts were rendered futile and he was met with total embarrassment. It was then when Tsunade walked in. She was a thin girl with a high ponytail and bright eyes. Most of the children knew who she was because of her family ties to the First and Second Hokage. It was almost as if she were a celebrity and everyone wanted to be her friend. However, Jiraiya had little care about her prestigious lineage. In his eyes she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He wanted to approach her and become her friend, but nerves overcame him and he ended up saying something ridiculous to her. Of course, she had little patience for his antics and as a result gave him a nosebleed when her fist made contact with his nose. Despite the fact that she brought him public humiliation, he never lost the strong feelings of love he harbored for her.

Now years later, he got the opportunity to experience romance with her. It was short-lived, but it was easily the greatest time in his life. He just wished that it could have lasted longer than it did. He could honestly say that though they did not put a title on what they shared, he was truly happy. If she had stayed, he was positive that she would be the one he would have spent the rest of his life with.

_"_If it's meant to be, it will happen Jiraiya." Fugio said, "If it is in your destiny to be with her, one way or another you will meet again. When that time comes, it might not happen right away. There may be new obstacles you have to overcome, but eventually you will be together if that's what's meant to happen."

"How can you be so sure of that Fugio?" Jiraiya asked, "Do you actually believe that?"

"I'm a firm believer of things happen if they're supposed to. There is someone out there for everyone and if Tsunade was meant to be the person for you she will be. You'll just have to wait for her."

Jiraiya didn't know if he believed in what the old man was saying. Life has not exactly gone the way he planned for it to go. His best friend turned to the darkness and everyone told him that it turned out that way because that's what happens in life . So how could he put his trust in life and just wait for something to happen or not? He wanted a guarantee, not a maybe.

While Jiraiya was not keen on 'whatever will be, will be', he was certain that he would wait on Tsunade. She was the final straw for him, he didn't want anyone else. He just wanted her. How could he actually attempt to be with someone else when Tsunade's image invaded his mind everyday? She was the one he truly loved in a world of hatred. She was the one he wanted to build a life with, if only she would let him. He didn't know how long it would take for her to put her pieces back together, but he didn't care. If it took weeks or even years, he would wait patiently because he was hopelessly devoted to her.

"I'll always wait for her, for as long as it takes." He said in sincerity then proceeded to eat the food Fugio provided for him.

Fugio then went to tend to another table and when he returned to Jiraiya's side, he was done with his meal. When the older man saw the sage reach into his pocket to retrieve his wallet to pay for the food, he stopped him, "That was on the house Jiraiya." He said then noticed the bag Jiraiya had beside him, "Are you leaving town as well?"

Jiraiya nodded his head, "Yes, I need a change of scenery and a new adventure."

"You're going to look for her aren't you."

If Jiraiya said that it didn't cross his mind to set out to look for the lover he lost, he would be telling a blatant lie. The truth was that he considered locating the blonde Sannin, but decided against it. He knew that he needed to give her time and space to figure her life out. That was something she just could not do with Jiraiya nearby. If he were to involve himself in her healing process, he could be running the risk of sabotaging his chances of getting back together with her. So, he made the decision to stay away and let her find her way back to him.

"I'm not going to look for her Fugio." Jiraiya said, "I thought about it, but I'm not. She needs to space and I love her and respect her enough to give her the space she needs to figure it all out."

"Where will you go then?"Fugio asked, wondering what new destination Jiraiya had in mind.

Jiraiya never knew where the winds would take him. He usually would just travel for a day or two and see where he would end up. Some would think it to be chaotic, but he found an unexplained thrill in traveling to an undetermined location, "I'm not sure where I'll go or what I'll do, but I need to go."

"I understand." Fugio said, "I hope everything works out for you."

Jiraiya gathered the backpack he had beside him and rose to his feet, "We'll see each other again." Jiraiya said while holding out a hand for Fugio to shake, "Thank you for everything."

Fugio gave Jiraiya's hand a firm shake, "Take care of yourself and remember what I told you."

Jiraiya nodded his head and walked out of the café, hoping that one day he would encounter the old man again. For the short time that they've known each other, they developed a strong bond similar to that of a father and son. Jiraiya told Fugio of his problems and Fugio would give him sound advice. It was comforting to Jiraiya to have someone like him to confide in especially since his own father was no longer living. Fugio could never replace the great parent that Jiraiya lost, but it was nice having him as father figure.

Jiraiya then suddenly could understand how Minato probably viewed himself. He too was like a substitute father in Minato's case since the blonde Hokage was orphaned at a young age. Now he could understand why Minato was so attached to him and didn't just see him as a teacher. It warmed his heart to know that Minato also saw him as a father he wasn't lucky enough to have in his life. To grow up without a father must be a terrible experience, something that Jiraiya could never wrap his head around. He was fortunate enough to have both mother and father in his life so he could never imagine not knowing who his father was.

He walked out of the town that had such a profound impact on his life. He chuckled to himself as he remembered that initially he didn't want to stay in that town for he thought it would be too boring. Little did he know back then that he would meet up with the woman he longed to see, get the opportunity to comfort her and love her, and then lose her all in the span of a couple days. He truly would never forget the time spent in that quiet, rural town.

His journey started off later than he planned, but that detail didn't seem to bother him. He liked the quiet he experienced as he walked down the dirt road. It gave him the chance to become emerged in his thoughts, and his memories of his favorite person. Soon nightfall came and he had to turn in for the night. Instead of checking himself into an inn, he decided on becoming one with nature and settling in a tent beneath the stars.

He promptly set up the tent he brought along with him. After that was done, he gathered a few twigs and dried up leaves and set them ablaze. He sat by the fire he created and pulled out a can of chili he had in his possession. He consumed his meal and then headed into his tent after putting the fire out. As he laid there listening to the rustling of leaves blowing in the chill wind, and the chirping of crickets that surrounded his tent, he imagined Tsunade being right next to him. He thought of how intimate and wonderful it would be with just the two of them laying side by side surrounded by nothing but nature and the quiet. His heart ached however, when he remembered the painful truth of her not being there.Wherever she was at that moment, he hoped that she was thinking of him as well. With her image crisp in his mind, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

The following morning, he dismantled his tent, and headed down to a nearby stream of water to rejuvenate himself before continuing his journey. When he arrived at the stream, he unclothed himself and jumped into the cool water. He cleaned himself and then got out of the water and immediately dried himself off with a towel he brought along with him before getting dressed. He then pulled out a few saltine crackers from his backpack and proceeded to eat them. As he consumed his snack, a frog jumped out of the stream and landed by Jiraiya's feet. He acknowledged the frog's presence and when he did, the frog regurgitated a scroll. At that point, Jiraiya knew that the frog was a messenger that was probably sent to him by Minato or even the Third Hokage. That could only mean that he was being sent on a mission, or that something was terribly wrong. He took the scroll from the frog and started to read it after unraveling it. After he read it, a gasp escaped his mouth and a cold sweat ran down his back. This could not be happening. Were they absolutely positive? He stuffed his last cracker into his mouth, and put the scroll into his bag before securing it on his back. His new adventure would have to wait, because at that moment the one and only destination he had in mind was the Village Hidden in the Leaves.


	7. Tragedy

Jiraiya could not believe that he was walking through the once happy place he grew up in. The devastation was unreal and resembled something one could only see during a taxing and gruesome war. Buildings that once stood tall were reduced to piles of rubble and trash on the floor, dead bodies with mauled faces were laying helplessly on the ground, and the fresh scent of greenery that travelled throughout the village was replaced by the stench of blood and smoke. This was the result of the nine tailed fox's attack on the Leaf Village.

The letter that Jiraiya received from the Third Hokage was brief and carried very little detail of the catastrophic event that took place while he was away. All he really knew was that the fox demon was unleashed on the village and wreaked complete havoc on all who inhabited the area. As he walked throughout the destroyed village, all he could think about was the absolute terror he felt when he wondered why the Third Hokage sent him the message and not the current Hokage, Minato.

It is a known fact that once a tailed beast is extracted from its host, that jinchuriki dies. Since the nine tailed fox was released from its bonds and ran amok in the village, that simply meant that it was somehow taken from its vessel, Kushina Uzumaki, the wife of the Fourth Hokage, a mother to be, and someone Jiraiya cared deeply about. A cold sweat ran down his back as he automatically thought the worst. He just hoped with every fiber of his being that she somehow managed to survive having the beast extracted from her and that her unborn child was alright as well. But then he remembered just who was in charge of the village, his very own student Minato. He knew that there was no way Minato would simply stand by and allow his wife to march off to her death. He was positive that Minato did everything in his power to not only keep the village safe, but also his wife and unborn child. Jiraiya decided to trust in Minato's abilities and told himself that they were still alive and well.

He made his way to the Hokage mansion that surprisingly was still standing, with only a few cracks on the walls of the building and a couple shattered windows. Security was tight around the mansion, but that was to be expected after such an attack on the village. He approached one of the guards, and after going through a rigorous screening process, he was allowed to enter the compound. He walked the multiple steps that would ultimately lead him to the Hokage's office and when he approached the familiar door, he knocked once until he was granted permission to enter. When he walked into the office, he saw his old Sensei with a tired, devastated look on his face, standing among the two village advisors Homura and Koharu. Those two were Sarutobi's teammates back in the day and were still very close to the old man. Jiraiya never cared for them since they were always so strict and never hesitated to tell him how one of the members of the Sannin should act. They expected him to be responsible and dignified due to his highly ranked status as a ninja, but Jiraiya was the complete opposite of their expectations and had little care to conform to the mold they wanted him to fit into.

As he stood among the three older ninja, he couldn't help but wonder where Minato was. He was the Fourth Hokage so if anyone should be in attendance at that moment in time it ought to have been him. Jiraiya didn't want to panic, so instead of immediately thinking of the worst case scenario, he convinced himself that perhaps Minato was visiting victims of the attack in the hospital, or even tending to his wife's needs.

"What happened here Sensei?" Jiraiya asked in a shaky voice. He was having a hard time keeping his composure, but forced himself to stay completely sane in the presence of the village advisors.

Sarutobi looked to his comrades with a somber look on his face then walked closer to Jiraiya, "We believe that the fox demon was unleashed on the village by a masked man." He started, "We don't know who he is or what his intentions were, but because of him the village is in ruins and many people lost their lives."

Jiraiya knew that the Leaf Village had enemies, but he had no idea that one of them was actually capable of manipulating a tailed beast. It was a scary thought, "What about Kushina?" Jiraiya asked, "Is she alright? And what about her baby?"

Sarutobi looked to his friends again, almost as if he were silently asking them what to say. They nodded their heads at him and he then put a wrinkled hand on Jiraiya's shoulder, "I think you should sit down Jiraiya."

Jiraiya shook his head and backed away from his sensei. His heart immediately started to pound rapidly within his chest, his palms became sweaty, and his voice became shakier than before. Something was terribly wrong, but they were taking too long to tell him and he couldn't stand being left in the dark, "No Sensei, I don't need to sit down!" He shouted, annoyed that he wouldn't just tell him what happened, "Where's Minato?! What's going on here?"

"Honestly Jiraiya, you know what happens when a tailed beast is extracted from its jinchuriki." Koharu said in an unsympathetic tone.

"What is that supposed to mean?!" Jiraiya shouted, on the verge of a mental break down, "Is Kushina actually,"

"Please just have a seat Jiraiya." Sarutobi pleaded.

Jiraiya sat down on a chair in the room, not because they told him to, but because he felt as if he could no longer stand. His body was wracked with grief for he knew what tragic news he was about to hear, but he was not emotionally prepared for what he was about to be told.

"Kushina went into labor." Sarutobi started, "As planned she gave birth in a remote location outside of the village in the event that the seal were to come undone. Even though her birthing plans were kept top secret, somehow a masked man was informed and as soon as Kushina delivered her baby, he attacked."

Jiraiya felt as if he were about to be sick as he was told the details of that tragic day. Imagine just giving birth to a beautiful child, and then being attacked right after. The day that was supposed to be the best of her life, was actually one that was filled with tragedy.

"The masked man threatened the life of the newborn baby, basically forcing Minato away from Kushina. That gave the man the opportunity to take Kushina hostage and ultimately extracting the beast from her." Homura explained.

"Minato made sure the baby was safe and then went back for Kushina but the demon was already taken from her. The masked man then manipulated the fox and sent it to destroy the village. Minato confronted the man but he managed to escape. Then Minato and Kushina tried to take matters into their own hands to save the village." Sarutobi said.

"What do you mean?" Jiraiya asked, "How did they stop the fox?"

Sarutobi shook his head, "They were in a barrier so we don't know the exact details on what happened to lead them to the decision they made, but Minato sealed away the fox spirit within his newborn son with the reaper death seal."

"The reaper death seal?!" Jiraiya repeated, "But if he did that, that means," He started but stopped himself, not wanting to say the words out loud.

"You're correct Jiraiya." Sarutobi said in a sad tone, "Minato died after sealing the fox away in his baby, and Kushina succumbed to her fate that was sealed the moment the fox was taken from her and died as well."

Jiraiya felt as if the room were spinning uncontrollably and the voices of the people surrounding him sounded like nothing but distant echoes. Minato, his prized pupil and the son he never had was dead along with his beautiful wife Kushina. How could something like that happen? Just a few days ago they were alive and well, excited at the prospect of becoming parents. But now they were laying lifeless in a morgue, awaiting the day when they would be put to their eternal rest. Jiraiya started to hyperventilate as he took in the information he was just given. Then when he felt as if he could not breathe, he blacked out. Just before he succumbed to the darkness, he saw the smiling faces of Minato and Kushina and allowed a stray tear to run down his face.

Jiraiya opened his eyes, hoping that the incredibly sad news he received was just a horrible nightmare. It was only when he looked around the room he found himself in and took note of the IV in his arm, that he realized he was in an infirmary. Tears emerged in his eyes when he remembered the harsh reality of his village being in shambles, and Minato and Kushina no longer being alive. His heart ached with grief and he felt absolutely helpless and somewhat guilty that he was not there when his student needed him the most. He wondered if he had been there if there was something he could have done to have prevented the untimely deaths of the young couple. Would he have been able to stop the masked man from taking Kushina? He would never know because he was not there. Instead he was away, trying so hard to get Tsunade to stay with him, but ultimately failed. While he did not regret being with Tsunade, he just wished that he could somehow rewrite the past and make it so that Minato and Kushina could still be alive.

"Nice to see you awake." A young nurse said as she entered the room, "How are you feeling?"

Physically Jiraiya was fine, but emotionally he was far from okay. He felt drained and absolutely devastated. He has seen dark times before, but nothing like what he was currently experiencing. He felt numb and wondered if that was how Tsunade felt when she lost her brother and her lover all within the span of a few months. Jiraiya lost two people dear to his heart and he was having a hard time imaging a life without them in it. They were supposed to be a family, and now it was just him again.

When the nurse realized that Jiraiya was not going to answer her question, she walked over to his bedside and checked his vitals. After she was certain that he was physically fine, she removed his IV and instructed him to go straight home and drink fluids to prevent himself from becoming dehydrated again. He got out of the cot and placed his shoes on his feet before thanking the nurse for taking care of him and then walked out of the room. As he was on his way out of the infirmary, he saw so many injured people. Some were missing limbs due to the severity of the attack, some were completely covered in bandages, and some were even on the verge of death. He felt nauseous among all those battered and bruised people when he noticed that as many injured there were, there were not enough medics to care for them. The village was completely unprepared for an attack of that caliber. It was too comfortable in the peace it was experiencing. That was a mistake. There was no such thing as peace in the ninja world even though Jiraiya wanted to believe that there was. A ninja had to live his life in fear, children had to grow up in an world wondering when the day would come when they would lose everything. That was the reality and Jiraiya was powerless to change it.

He was told to go home, but he had no intentions on going there. For one, he had no idea if his home still existed and he had another destination in mind. He walked down the familiar path that would lead him to his intended location. He walked down that path multiple times in the past, all for happy occasions. But, this time around his heart was breaking with each step he took for he knew that when he arrived at the location he planned to visit, nobody would be there.

He arrived at the home that used to belong to Minato and Kushina. He remembered the last time he was there. The house was filled with joy and happiness, as the couple was thrilled about the baby that was to soon grace their lives. But now, as Jiraiya walked throughout the deserted house, it felt cold and empty. Every corner in the home served as a constant reminder of the lives that were lost. Just being in there without the two occupants felt strange and unreal. Jiraiya then found himself in the nursery that was decorated in happy, vibrant colors, had stuffed animals in every corner, and had baby blue painted walls. He then remembered that the child was born on the day his parents died. But where was he? What happened to him now that he was the new vessel of the nine tailed fox?

With so many questions circling in his mind, he ran out of the house with one destination in mind. He knew he had to return to the Hokage mansion to figure out just where the baby was. He just hoped that wherever he was, that he was safe. When he arrived at the mansion, he had to go through the same screening process before being granted access to the building. Once he finished with that, he entered the building and barged into the Hokage office. Upon his unannounced entrance, he was looked upon with disapproving faces by the village advisors, but one of sympathy from his old Sensei. From the looks of it, they were in the middle of an important meeting when he intruded, but he didn't care. He had so many questions, and a child was the topic of all of them. He had to know where he was and if that meant interrupting a meeting for a few minutes, then that's what he had to do.

"Where's the baby?" Jiraiya asked, completely ignoring the anger on the faces of Koharu and Homura.

"How dare you just barge in here like that!" Koharu scolded, "We were in the middle of a very important meeting. Have you ever heard of knocking?"

"As one of the Sannin, you should know better Jiraiya." Homura said in an annoyed tone.

Jiraiya stepped further into the room and looked directly at his mentor, "I don't care about all of that!" He shouted, "Where is Minato and Kushina's baby?" He asked again, "You said that Kushina gave birth before she died, so that means that her son must be somewhere."

"Yes Kushina gave birth and yes the baby is somewhere." Koharu said, "But you're forgetting the part when we told you that the child is not just a baby. He's the jinchuriki of the nine tailed fox, the demon that destroyed this village!"

"What does that matter?" Jiraiya asked, "He's still just a baby, a baby without parents at that."

"You can't be that naïve Jiraiya." Homura said while rubbing his temples, "That child is nothing but a danger to this village. He's a threat to us all!"

"A threat?!" Jiraiya repeated in anger, "He just so happens to be the son of the two people who saved this village! How dare you act like he's just a nuisance to us all because of what he carries within him. He's just a baby, he didn't have a choice in the matter, but because his tiny body is carrying that demon, he's protecting this village!"

"That is enough!" Sarutobi shouted, breaking his silence, "Koharu, Homura, shame on you for allowing those words to escape your mouths." He said, disappointed at how his friends viewed the world simply in black and white, "Before Kushina died, she asked me to take care of her son and that's exactly what I intend on doing." He said then turned to the white haired sage, "Jiraiya, if you wish to see the child I will take you to him."

Sarutobi rose to his feet and proceeded to walk towards the door, much to the shock and disapproval of the two village advisors.

"Sarutobi, this meeting isn't over yet!" Koharu said.

"It is for now." Sarutobi said, "We'll continue when I return. You two can stay here, don't follow us."

Jiraiya and Sarutobi walked out of the tense room and Jiraiya was happy that his sensei did not have the same mindset and the two old advisors. He knew that Sarutobi must be aware of his feelings. He knew how close he was to Minato and Kushina so Jiraiya was pleased that he wasn't treating him as if it were just a normal day. Sarutobi led Jiraiya into a room on the top floor of the mansion. For the years that Sarutobi has been commander and chief of the village, Jiraiya has never been on that floor. It was off limits to just about everyone except for the Hokage and a few select people. When they entered the room, Jiraiya saw a young woman sitting on a rocking chair with a tiny bundle in her arms. She was the only person in that room besides the child and Jiraiya wondered if that was intentional.

"Jiraiya, this is Hana." Sarutobi said as he closed the room door, "She will be the caretaker of the child until he is old enough to be on his own."

Hana rose to her feet with the bundle still in her arms, "Hello Master Jiraiya." She said, "Lord Third told me all about you."

"Hana is one of the few people who know about what the child carries within him. She has been a member of the medical core for a few years now and I've been watching her closely so I know she can be trusted."

"Be trusted?" Jiraiya repeated, somewhat confused.

"Yes. The child is not safe because of the fact that he is a jinchuriki. People will not hesitate to harm him if they were to find out about him. Therefore, in order to keep him safe, we have to take all the necessary precautions."

Hana stepped closer to Jiraiya and revealed the child she had in her arms, "Would you like to hold him?"

Jiraiya peered into her arms and saw the baby looking up at him with big, bright, blue eyes. He looked almost identical to Minato and even shared his father's spiky blonde hair. It was as if he were looking in the face of Minato himself. The child smiled when his eyes focused on Jiraiya's face and in that moment Jiraiya felt his heart swell with emotion. The child was smiling, completely unaware of the fact that he was orphaned within hours of him being in the world, and was burdened with being the vessel of a terrible monster. He felt such sorrow for the child and could only imagine the horrors and the extreme loneliness he would have to live through. He didn't deserve that life, nobody did, but the child was the son of heroes and deserved a life of happiness not one of pain.

Cautiously, Jiraiya took the baby in his arms. He felt so small, so fragile, that Jiraiya was scared to make any sudden movements. He had never held a baby that tiny before, but here he was rocking the infant back and forth and growing closer and closer to him in each passing second. Time seemed to stop as he held the baby close and he then remembered that he was not a stranger to the child, he was his godfather, "Hello Naruto." Jiraiya said.

"Naruto?" Sarutobi repeated, "Is that his name?"

Jiraiya nodded his head, "Yes, his name was decided by Kushina and Minato a couple of days ago."

"But isn't that the name of the main character of your novel?" The Hokage asked.

"Yes, that's right." Jiraiya nodded, "His name is Naruto Namikaze."

Sarutobi shook is head in disagreement, "No it can't be." He said, "Minato had too many enemies and we're supposed to be keeping Naruto safe. We can't risk his safety so he will take his mother's name. He will be called Naruto Uzumaki."

Jiraiya understood what the Third was saying and agreed to it, "That's fine. They also named me his godfather so I would like to take him under my wing."

Jiraiya couldn't stand the thought of such a happy, innocent baby growing up alone in a world where people would more than likely ostracize him because of who he is. He was positive that Minato and Kushina would have wanted Naruto to be under his care. Furthermore, he felt a strong connection towards the infant and felt the need to protect him at all costs. He never thought about becoming a father, and was never sure how good he would be at raising another person. But as he looked down at Naruto's chubby face, he felt confident that he would do right by him. There would be so much that he would have to learn, but with Naruto in his care he knew that he would figure it all out.

"I can't allow you to do that Jiraiya." Sarutobi said regretfully.

Jiraiya looked at his mentor with a confused expression on his face, "What do you mean?" He asked, "I'm the only one he has in this world."

"You need to remember that this child is also the jinchuriki of the nine tailed fox Jiraiya." Sarutobi started, "He needs to remain in the village and I know how you don't like being tied down to one spot."

"If it's for Naruto I will stay in the village." Jiraiya stated. He wasn't too keen on the idea of staying in the Leaf Village. But if staying in the village meant being able to look after Naruto, then he would do it with no hesitation.

"Even so I still can't allow you to take the child as your own." The Hokage said, "There will come a day when he will have questions of his parentage, and for his own protection he cannot know." He explained, "If you were to raise him, it will become abundantly clear that you are so much more than just a guardian to him and he will ask you questions that you cannot answer."

"Then I won't tell him who I am or who his parents are." Jiraiya promised, "Just please let me take care of him. He needs me."

Sarutobi shook his head, "I'm sorry Jiraiya, but it has to be this way."

The white haired sage looked down at the infant in his arms once again and felt as his heart twisted into knots. How could he simply walk away from the orphan? What would become of the son that Minato and Kushina left behind if Jiraiya was not there to oversee his upbringing? What kind of pain and suffering would the child have to endure?

"If I can't be there for him, then I want you to promise me that he will be well taken care of." Jiraiya said firmly while looking directly at his teacher, "Promise me that he will want for nothing and that he will be safe."

Sarutobi could clearly see how much the baby meant to Jiraiya. He never expected him to possess such a fierce sense of responsibility towards a child that wasn't even his own. The reckless, immature young boy he taught the way of the ninja has matured and perhaps even turned into a surrogate father to an unfortunate orphaned baby boy.

"I give you my word that I will ensure Naruto is taken care of and safe." Sarutobi promised the Sannin.

"I want updates on his upbringing as well." Jiraiya added, "I would like to know what he's like as he grows older." He said and dug around in his pocket and pulled out a wallet that was in the shape of a frog. He got that wallet from his father when he was a young boy. It was one of his prized possessions therefore he carried it on his person at all times. He vowed to himself to never part with it as it reminded him so much of his father, but suddenly had the desire to gift it to his godson, "When he's older, please give this to him." Jiraiya said while handing it to the aged Hokage, "You don't have to tell him who it's from, but I would like for him to have it."

Sarutobi took the wallet from his student, "I will be sure to give it to him."

Naruto squirmed in his godfather's arms and let out a tired yawn. It was close to his nap time. Jiraiya knew the time was drawing near when he would have to part from the infant. He decided to leave him with a few words that would hopefully stay with him as he grew up, "Naruto." He started, "You will face some hard times in your life, but don't let that alter who you are. You were brought into this world by two people who loved you with all their hearts. Sometimes it may seem as if you are all alone in this world, but you are not. I may not be around, but I will always be with you. Be brave, be happy, and never give up on your dreams."

"It's time for his nap Master Jiraiya." Hana said, holding out her arms to take the baby from him.

Jiraiya was reluctant to hand over the infant. He was painfully aware of the fact that it would be the last time he were to ever hold the child. With a heavy heart, he placed young Naruto in his caretaker's arms. He felt an emptiness within as he stood there watching Hana place the baby in his cot. He felt the same kind of loneliness he experienced when he woke up without Tsunade in his presence.

"He'll be alright Jiraiya." Sarutobi said as he placed a reassuring hand on the sage's shoulder.

"I'll stay for the funeral and I'll help rebuild the village." Jiraiya said, "But afterwards, I'm going to head out on another journey. There must be a way to bring peace to this world of hatred."

After taking one last look at the blonde haired infant, he walked out of the nursery. He was determined to bring back some sort of stability to the village. He decided to make it his life's mission to find peace and spread it throughout the ninja world, so that Naruto would not have to live in fear. He didn't know how he would turn his ambitions into a reality, but vowed to himself and to his precious godson that somehow he would make it happen.


	8. Master and Apprentice

12 years later…

"You knocked out my teacher!" Naruto exclaimed to the stranger in his presence after witnessing him take the person who was supposed to be teaching him a new jutsu out of commission. The young boy had no idea who the white haired man standing before him was, but was furious with him. He desperately wanted to become stronger for the Chunin Exams, but since his teacher was knocked unconscious he had no idea what he was going to do.

"Serves the idiot right for trying to interrupt my research." Jiraiya said as he continued to peer into the women's section of the bathing house.

Jiraiya just arrived in the Leaf Village and was exhausted due to his days of travel. He decided to relax in a bath house to unwind and put his tired body at ease. However, because of his perverted tendencies he ended up unapologetically peeping into the women's quarters when Ebisu, the Jounin ninja who was teaching Naruto the walking on water jutsu caught him in the act. Ebisu tried to stop Jiraiya from conducting himself in such an undignified manner, but of course Jiraiya's powers overcame the jounin's and Ebisu ended up knocked out cold with a bloody nose.

"He was in the middle of teaching me the walking on water jutsu!" Naruto shouted, "I'm supposed to be training for the Chunin Exams and you just ruined it!"

"Sorry kid." Jiraiya shrugged, trying so hard to appear as if he had no idea who Naruto was. The truth was that the sage decided to return to the village in order to officially meet Naruto and perhaps get to know him better. It was by pure coincidence that he encountered him at a hot springs. He wanted to run up to Naruto and tell him how much he has grown since he had last seen him. But he knew that Naruto had no idea who he was and was not privy to the relationship they shared. It killed him, but he was well aware of the fact that he could not let the twelve year old know just who he was and the role he played in his life.

Naruto was furious, but was positive that if the stranger was able to defeat a Jounin ranked ninja then he must be extremely skilled, "Who are you anyway?" He asked.

Jiraiya smiled to himself, pleased that Naruto was curious to know who he was. He turned to the young blonde and introduced himself, "I'm none other than Jiraiya, toad sage, handsome devil, and legendary Sannin."

"Sannin?" Naruto repeated, "But the Sannin are the three ninja who helped bring the Leaf to victory during the war. I learned about them in the academy." Naruto said, recalling one of the only lessons he managed to retain during his days spent in the ninja academy, "There's no way you're one of them!" He said as he pointed at Jiraiya, clearly unamused and unbelieving of the fact that Jiraiya was a member of the legendary three ninja.

"Listen kid, believe it or not I am one of the Sannin!" Jiraiya shouted, somewhat upset at how Naruto was so dismissive of his skills as a ninja.

"I don't believe you!" Naruto said as he stuck his tongue out at the sage, "As far as I'm concerned you're just a perverted old hermit who knocked my teacher unconscious!"

"What did you say kid?!" Jiraiya shouted.

"If you want to prove me wrong then you have to teach me the walking on water jutsu!" Naruto challenged him.

"I'll not only teach you the walking on water jutsu, but I'll teach you another awesome jutsu just to prove to you that I'm all that I say I am!" Jiraiya shouted back.

"You got yourself a deal, Pervy Sage." Naruto smiled.

Upon hearing the nickname that Naruto gave him, Jiraiya didn't quite know how to react. Should he have been offended or should he have thought of it as just a playful pet name. He wasn't sure but he was amused at the personality Naruto seemed to have. He wasn't respectful, nor level headed like his father. Instead, he was rambunctious, loud, and jokester like his mother. In fact, Jiraiya saw his younger self in the blonde ninja, for he was the same way when he was his age.

"Pervy Sage?!" Jiraiya repeated, "I told you I'm a toad sage."

Naruto rolled his blue eyes at his elder, "Yeah, a perverted toad sage." He said, "Are you gonna teach me a new jutsu or what?"

Jiraiya decided not to comment on Naruto's blatant disrespect. The truth was that he wasn't even upset with him. He was just happy to finally be forming a relationship with the young boy and was excited at the prospect of teaching him a new technique. He could tell Naruto was becoming rather impatient, so he decided to start teaching him right away. However, he needed a change of scenery. Teaching his godson a new jutsu at a hot springs was not the ideal location he had in mind. In fact, he found it to be rather inappropriate. Therefore, he told Naruto to follow him and the two ended up at a nearby beach.

"The first step in mastering the walking on water jutsu is learning how to focus your chakra to your feet and maintaining it." Jiraiya explained as he sat on the soft, white sand.

An uneasy look rose to Naruto's face as he scratched his head, "Chakra control has never been my thing Pervy Sage." The young ninja admitted. Throughout his entire ninja career, he struggled immensely with controlling his chakra. While others excelled at more technical jutsu that required delicate chakra control, Naruto failed miserably. It was only recently that he managed to perfect his shadow clone jutsu, having it become his signature technique. But even so, he still found it rather difficult to disperse his chakra among multiple versions of himself.

"Just give it a try." Jiraiya instructed as he pointed towards the water, "Focus your chakra to your feet, and maintain it."

Naruto did as he was told and attempted to direct his chakra to his feet. When he thought he succeeded, he attempted to step onto the water. However, as soon as his foot made contact with the water, he fell in and became drenched from head to toe.

"I keep falling in!" Naruto shouted in frustration as he made his way out of the water, "I don't know what I'm doing wrong!" He proceeded to shed himself of his soaked clothes, leaving himself only wearing his boxers.

Jiraiya then noticed the sign of the five elements seal that was situated in the middle of Naruto's stomach. It was more than likely placed there when the child became the jinchuriki of the nine tailed fox by his father. Now it all made sense to the toad sage. The extra seal that was placed on the child prevented him from being able to effectively control his chakra. The Fourth Hokage probably placed that seal on his son out of fear of him not being able to control the two chakras that he had within. He did it out of love, but it acted as an impediment and needed to be removed in order for Naruto to reach his full potential as a ninja.

Jiraiya rose from his seated position on the sand and walked over to the frustrated twelve year old, "Go ahead and build up your chakra." He told the boy.

"But I did that already." Naruto whined, not seeing the purpose of trying it again.

"Just do it." Jiraiya repeated.

Naruto reluctantly closed his eyes in order to focus on his chakra control. Once his eyes were closed, Jiraiya placed his hand on the seal on Naruto's stomach and removed it with a seal removal technique. The action caused the young boy to laugh for it tickled. But once it was done, the seal was no more. Jiraiya was confident that it would help the blonde gain more control over his chakra.

"Now go try it again." Jiraiya instructed once more.

Naruto made his way over to the water for the second time. He was cautious as he placed his foot onto the water, but when he realized he was not sinking as the weight of his body shifted from the leg on the land to the one on the water, he became hopeful that he mastered the technique. He was then standing on the surface of the water, giddy with excitement, hopping around, showing off that he was doing the task that seemed to be so daunting a few moments ago.

"Look Pervy Sage, I'm doing it!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Atta boy!" Jiraiya smiled, "I knew you could do it." Jiraiya was so proud to see his godson master a technique that he found to be impossible not too long ago. There was so much he wanted to teach Naruto, so much he wanted to show him, and he was finally getting the opportunity to do so. He was denied access to Naruto for so long that it felt good that he was actually in his company, teaching him the way of the ninja, and sharing in the joy the boy felt when he accomplished something great.

Naruto continued to hop around on the water until he remembered that Jiraiya promised to teach him another technique. He then ran up to the sage with joy on his face, "So what's the new jutsu you're going to teach me?" He asked, unable to contain his excitement, "It's going to be way cooler than Sasuke's jutsu isn't it?"

For the entire time Naruto has been on the same team as Sasuke, he just wanted to prove to him and even to himself that he could be just as strong as he was. He made it his mission to seek recognition from not only his friend, but from everyone in the village who have ever doubted him. Growing up as a jinchuriki definitely had its challenges, but Naruto was constantly trying to overcome them all.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves Naruto." Jiraiya said, trying to calm the excited boy down, "It's getting late. We should call it a day and pick up on your training tomorrow."

"How do I know that you won't bail on me?" Naruto asked with a hint of hurt in his voice. He was someone who had been disappointed many times in his life, so it wouldn't surprise him if Jiraiya disappointed him as well.

Jiraiya placed a reassuring hand on the young boy's shoulder, "From here on out, I will be your teacher." He said with a smile.

"But what about Ebisu Sensei?" Naruto asked.

"Don't worry about him." Jiraiya laughed, "There's nothing that man can teach you that I can't. Trust me, you're better off with me."

"Well aren't you full of yourself." Naruto noted.

"I am one of the Sannin after all." Jiraiya said boastfully, "I don't know about you, but I'm starving. Let's get something to eat."

"You bet!" Naruto said happily and quickly dressed himself before leaving the beach with his new master. He didn't know much about Jiraiya, but for some reason he felt comfortable around him, as if he had known him his entire life. It was going to be interesting being under his tutelage, but Naruto was excited about becoming stronger and felt as if Jiraiya could get him to where he needed to be.

The two ended up at a ramen shop located within the resort per Naruto's request. It wasn't surprising to Jiraiya that ramen was Naruto's favorite food since the meal was basically how he received his name. They seated themselves at the counter and waited on the owner of the establishment to take their orders.

"So Naruto." Jiraiya started, "Tell me about yourself."

"Why?" Naruto asked, not understanding why the sage was curious to know more about himself.

"A master ought to know about his apprentice." Jiraiya explained, "When I was your age, my master wanted me and my peers to introduce ourselves before he started to teach us anything."

"Well what do you want to know?"

Jiraiya wanted to know everything. He wanted to know how well he did at the academy, even though he pretty much had an idea due to Naruto's lack of refinement. He wanted to know about his friends, his teachers, and even those he wasn't too fond of. He wanted to know about his strengths, his weaknesses, his dreams, his fears. But most of all, he wanted to know how he managed to cope with his unfortunate reality, being without parents and being the vessel of a demon who terrorized the lives of so many. How did the villagers treat him? Did the Third Hokage do his best to shield him from the ugliness of bitter, angry people who lost everything due to the nine tailed fox's attack?

Despite the fact that Jiraiya wanted to know every detail of Naruto's life, he knew he had to limit his questions. He couldn't give the child any idea that perhaps Jiraiya has known about him for his entire life.

"Just tell me anything you want." Jiraiya said.

Naruto thought about what he was going to say before revealing details of himself to his new mentor. He had been through something quite similar when he was introducing himself to Kakashi and his teammates, but this situation felt somewhat different. It was just Jiraiya and himself with nobody else around. It was as if they just formed a brand new partnership, so perhaps he could tell Jiraiya things that he wouldn't necessarily share with team seven, "I didn't exactly have an easy life." Naruto started, "I've been living alone since I was eight years old so I struggled in many ways. There would be many times that I would feel lonely and sad. I often wondered why other kids my age were allowed to have a family and I wasn't. The villagers treated me poorly and I didn't understand why. Things got better when I met Iruka Sensei, Kakashi Sensei, Sakura, and Sasuke though. Even though I went through a lot in my life, I didn't let it get me down. My dream is to become the Hokage and I know I'll make it happen. I'll never give up."

Jiraiya did not know what to say. The Third Hokage promised him that Naruto would be well taken care of. The child was the son of heroes who saved the village so he should have gotten first class treatment from not only the Hokage, but from everyone in the village. But it seemed as if the Third Hokage did not keep any of the promises he made. He didn't inform Jiraiya of any of the happenings in Naruto's life, and as soon as he was able to be on his own, he was left to his own devises. How could he expect an eight year old child to fend for himself? Jiraiya was so angry. He wanted to somehow shield Naruto from all the sadness and pain that came with being orphaned, but he was denied that chance. He put all his faith in the Hokage but he failed him in every way possible. The only thing that kept him from marching into the Hokage mansion and giving his old teacher a piece of his mind was the fact that despite his past, Naruto wasn't bitter or filled with hatred. Therefore, Jiraiya took comfort in knowing that Naruto had a dream and he was trying his best to make that dream into a reality.

"What would you two like?" The owner of the ramen shop asked with a notepad in hand.

"I'll have an extra large bowl of ramen with extra miso pork, a boiled egg, nori, and lots of scallions!" Naruto ordered with a big smile on his face.

"I'll have the same as him." Jiraiya said.

The owner scribbled down their orders on the notepad and went to the kitchen to prepare their meals.

"I have a question for you Pervy Sage." Naruto said.

"What is it?" Jiraiya asked, somewhat curious to know what question Naruto had in mind.

"For someone of your rank, what are you doing away from the village?"

Jiraiya didn't quite know how to answer Naruto's question. How could he possibly tell the young boy his reason for leaving the village was to search for a woman he loved with all his heart. Surely the Genin would not understand the very concept of love and why it would drive Jiraiya away from his duties to the Leaf. The sage's mind then ran on the blonde woman who walked out of his life. It had been twelve years since the series of events unfolded between the pair, and even though it had been so long ago, Jiraiya felt as if it was just yesterday that she had been in his arms. He remembered every detail of the time they had together vividly. It was as if the one and only time they have ever been on the same page has been burned into his memory. He could not forget the happiness he felt once in her presence, nor did he ever want to forget. He often wondered how life had treated her over the years. Did she manage to overcome her trauma? Did she find happiness in someone else? He could never be certain so instead of thinking about the likelihood of her being in the arms of another man, he held onto the moments they shared, and the happier times when he was certain they would be together.

Naruto's persistence pulled him out of his thoughts and brought him back to his reality that unfortunately Tsunade was not apart of. He had to answer the boy's question. He could have told him a lie, but Jiraiya was not about to do that. So instead he came up with an answer that adults always tell children to dismiss the conversation, "Perhaps I'll tell you when you're older."

"Come on Pervy Sage!" Naruto whined, "That's such a lame answer! Why can't you tell me why you left the village? You're one of the Sannin, you're supposed to be defending the village not abandoning it."

"Stop getting so worked up Naruto." Jiraiya said while handing the boy a napkin to wipe the sauce from the ramen off his mouth, "I may not be residing in the village, but I am doing all that I can to protect it. The Hokage and I have an arrangement so don't worry about me not doing my part."

Naruto shrugged his shoulders, deciding to believe in what his mentor was telling him. He finished the contents of his bowl and let out a satisfied sigh. Afterwards, he dug around in his pocket until he found his wallet in the shape and likeness of a frog. When Jiraiya saw the wallet that was in Naruto's possession, he couldn't help but feel happiness wash over his being. It was the wallet that his father gave to him, and the one he passed down to an infant Naruto. The Third might have went back on his word for a number of things, but not when it came to the parting gift Jiraiya left for Naruto. As promised, Sarutobi gave it to the boy when he was old enough, and the child was carrying it around to this day.

"This one is on me Naruto." Jiraiya said, stopping the boy from paying his fair share.

"Really?" Naruto said while looking up at Jiraiya. The only adults who have ever treated him to a meal had been Iruka and Kakashi. He just wasn't used to kindness from others, especially adults. He was accustomed to them chastising him and forbidding their children from playing with him or even talking to him.

"Yes really." Jiraiya said while he placed money down on the counter to cover both their bills, "What kind of Master would I be if I let my disciple pay for lunch?"

"Thanks Pervy Sage." Naruto smiled.

The two then checked into a room within the resort instead of heading back to the Leaf Village. Naruto was tired due to his training, and Jiraiya needed to rest his body that ached with pain after all the traveling he did. The following day would be a day dedicated solely to Naruto's training. He had to be prepared for not only the Chunin Exams, but he also had to get stronger in order to defend himself. No matter what, Jiraiya would protect Naruto, and ensure that he was ready for anything. The blonde was so much more to him than just another student. He was his godson, and therefore he was the only family he had left. Where matters with Tsunade were left unfinished, he knew that Naruto would serve as a constant in his life. Tomorrow was a new day, and the beginning of their new partnership.


	9. A New Adventure

Grief. That was all Jiraiya felt as he stood on the roof of the Hokage mansion with the population of the village. He never thought he would see the day that his teacher, confidant, and biggest supporter would be dead and gone. But there he was, trying his hardest to maintain the solemn look on his face when internally he felt such sorrow and despair. Why did this have to happen? What could he have done to have prevented the untimely death of such a great leader? Those were the questions that tormented Jiraiya, for he just could not seem to come up with any answers that could offer him some kind of comfort.

Orochimaru did not hesitate to wreak complete havoc over the Village. He not only managed to completely ruin the Chunin Exams with his evil schemes, but he was successful in murdering the Third Hokage. However, before the leader of the village succumbed to his unfortunate fate, he paralyzed Orochimaru's arms, robbing him of all his jutsu and the ability to ever weave a hand sign again.

Jiraiya watched as people who did not know the Hokage on a personal level weep hysterically while he had to remain somber and conduct himself in a dignified manner for that was what was expected of him. He wanted to tell those people that they had no right to cry and break down when Jiraiya was not allowed to reveal his true emotions. The truth was that he wanted to barricade himself in the privacy of his apartment and mourn the loss of his teacher. But he also wanted someone who knew Sarutobi on the same level as he did to share in his grief. That would be next to impossible if the only other person who was extremely close to the Third had no idea that he was no longer alive. He suddenly felt so alone and felt that he would soon fall into a dark place that he was afraid he could never escape.

Highly ranked ninja as well as members of the council spoke about the late Sarutobi in high regards and praised him for his efforts to protect the people of the Leaf. Jiraiya was supposed to say a few words to honor his dear Sensei, but backed out of it at the last minute. He just could not seem to muster up enough courage and strength to stand before the mourning population of the village, without surely breaking down himself. It was hard to think about the life that was lost, but to speak of him would be entirely too difficult and emotionally draining. So instead, Jiraiya listened to praises being offered up to the Hokage, respectfully placed a delicate white flower on his grave along with everyone else, extended his condolences to the Sarutobi family, and excused himself from the funeral at the appropriate time.

Instead of heading back to his apartment, he made his way to the training field that he would frequent in the past with his team. That field held so many memories dear to his heart that it seemed entirely appropriate for him to choose that location to mourn. He sat against the tree stump that he was tied to on multiple occasions in his youth after failing a training test issued by Sarutobi. Despite the fact that his sensei was hard on him, Jiraiya knew that it was just because he had his best interests at heart. They grew close as Jiraiya trained under him, and soon the older man became like a second father to him. It grieved Jiraiya that his mentor was no longer around. He would never see him again, talk to him again, or even hear his voice. Only when he could no longer hold his emotions in did he allow tears to stream down his face, wishing that things did not turn out the way they did.

The following day, Jiraiya did not feel like getting out of bed. It was as if his sorrow was weighing him down, and he could not seem to shake the helplessness he was feeling. How could he go on about his life knowing that his sensei was dead and he did nothing to help prevent it. He felt the same kind of guilt he felt when he was not around to help Minato and Kushina. Some would say that it was not his fault, that there was no way he could have known that the nine tailed fox would be unleashed, or that Orochimaru would attack. He still felt guilty though, and ashamed that he was never there when those he cared about the most needed him.

An annoying knocking sound coming from his front door pulled him out from under the sheets and from his dark thoughts. He wondered who on earth could possibly be visiting him when he had no desire to see anyone. If it were Naruto asking him to train for the day, he would tell him that he was feeling under the weather and would put it off for another day. But if it were anyone else, he would probably tell them a few choice words and close the door in their face. He laid there for a few more minutes, hoping that whoever was disturbing him would simply get the message and go away, but the knocking was persistent. It was clear that whoever was on the other side of the door had no intentions on leaving without coming face to face with Jiraiya. He muttered a few expletives under his breath and got out of bed to address the knocks on his door. He swung open the door and saw that the ones who were bothering him, were none other than the two village elders, Homura and Koharu.

He wondered why his sensei's old friends decided to pay him a visit. They never came to his home. If they needed him for anything, they would just summon him to the Hokage mansion and speak to him in a formal setting. It was quite out the ordinary to have them appear at his doorstep and Jiraiya was curious to know what it could possibly mean. What did they want with him? What were they there to discuss?

"You look terrible Jiraiya." Koharu said with no remorse. She had always been a straightforward woman who was quick to judge and had very little patience. Jiraiya was not too fond of her. He much preferred Homura, but he too had his flaws. He was the lesser of two evils though.

"Nice to see you too Lady Koharu." Jiraiya said sarcastically while rolling his obsidian eyes at the old lady's rudeness.

"Can we come in?" Homura asked, "We have something urgent to speak to you about. However, it is confidential and must be spoken about in private."

Jiraiya shook his head, "I'm not really in a talkative mood, so can this be put off for another time?"

"I'm afraid not Jiraiya." Koharu said and shoved her way into Jiraiya's home uninvited with Homura following behind.

Jiraiya reluctantly closed his door and followed the pair into his living room. Under any other circumstances he would have offered his guests a drink, but this visit was unexpected and unwanted and Jiraiya had no desire to prolong whatever it was they were there for.

"What is this all about?" He asked, trying hard to suppress the anger he felt.

"As you know the Third Hokage is dead." Homura said, stating the obvious and seated himself on Jiraiya's couch with Koharu.

How could Jiraiya possibly forget that his sensei had died? It was all he could think about, "Of course I know that."

"Due to Orochimaru's dreadful attack, the village is left in shambles and is in desperate need of a new leader, a strong leader, who can pick up the pieces and restore stability to the village." Koharu explained.

Jiraiya was painfully aware of the fact that the village was in ruins because of what his former friend did. He knew how vulnerable the village was and how they could not wait a long time for a new Hokage, especially with the Akatsuki posing as a major threat to them. He was aware of everything the elders were telling him, but he couldn't help but wonder what any of it had to do with him, "Why are you telling me this?"

Homura and Koharu looked at each other for a brief moment before continuing with their unscheduled meeting, "The village council has decided to name you the Fifth Hokage." Homura stated dryly as if Jiraiya had no choice in the matter.

Jiraiya was at a loss for words. He definitely was not expecting them to tell him that he was chosen as the new leader of the village. Surely they must have been joking, for Jiraiya was positive that he would not make for a good Hokage. He was barely hanging on by a thread so how could they expect him to be a figure of authority for anyone? He was unable to save Orochimaru from going to the darkness and failed to save his student and his mentor, so he deemed himself unsuitable to fit the Hokage role.

"You have the wrong guy." Jiraiya said, "Pick someone else."

"I'm afraid that's also impossible Jiraiya." Koharu said, "The instability of the village is a serious situation that will lead to catastrophe. We need a leader who won't make drastic changes, but who will pick up where Sarutobi left off and bring the village back to the status quo." She explained.

"You're one of the Sannin." Homuara said.

"Yes I know that. What does that have to do with anything?" Jiraiya asked, growing tired of the conversation.

"That means you were taught by the Third himself." Homura continued, "You're exactly who we need. Someone with the same ideals as the late Hokage, someone who will respect his legacy and build on it. You know you can't refuse this position. It is your duty to your mentor and to the village to take on this role."

Jiraiya finally understood why they came to a slacker like him to make him the Hokage. They were desperate due to the difficult position the village was in. They had little to no time to elect a new Hokage, and needed someone who would fall into the position with ease and work relentlessly to bring the village back to stability. It all made sense for them to want a Sannin to take on the job. They thought that Jiraiya was the only one suited for the position, but they seemed to be forgetting that someone else could work.

"Stop." Jiraiya said, "You want a Sannin, but you're forgetting that there is another."

"Have you gone insane boy?" Koharu asked in a raised voice, "How could you suggest that Orochimaru become the Hokage?!"

Jiraiya shook his head, "No, I'm talking about Tsunade."

It didn't come as a surprise that they didn't even consider the only female member of the Sannin. She left the village years ago under terrible circumstances. She was out of sight and out of mind for so long that the council barely uttered a word about her. It was almost as if she didn't exist, for nobody, not even Jiraiya knew her whereabouts.

"There's little doubt that she won't do a good job, but nobody knows where she is." Homura said, "You can't talk your way out of this Jiraiya and volunteer someone else for the job."

"Tsunade is much more suited for the job. She's smart, responsible, and the title of Hokage basically runs in her veins. You know she was meant to take on the position, not a free spirit like me." Jiraiya explained, "Besides, if anyone can find her, it's me."

Jiraiya watched as the two elders thought about his proposition. He tried to be as persuasive as possible, but he had no idea what they were thinking. There was a strong chance that they would find it to be ridiculous and therefore force him into the position, but there was also the likelihood of them agreeing to it. In the event that they said yes, how exactly would he find her? Furthermore, how would he feel upon seeing her once again? On the other hand, if they said no, how would he cope with being the new Hokage? It had always been a role he respected, but one he never wanted. To him it was too much pressure and responsibility. He liked to be free and unfettered and being the Hokage would surely rob him of the lifestyle he grew accustomed to.

Homura looked at Koharu after a few moments of thinking and she looked back at him. They nodded their heads and turned to Jiraiya, "Very well." Koharu said, "Your mission is to locate Princess Tsunade and bring her back to the village to take her rightful position as Hokage."

"But, two members of the ANBU Black Ops will accompany you on your travels." Homura added.

"There's no need for that. I'm not going to make a run for it." Jiraiya said, "However, I will like to take along Naruto Uzumaki."

"The Uzumaki boy?" Koharu repeated, "Whatever for?"

"I'll use it as an opportunity to train him." Jiraiya said, "He is my apprentice after all."

"Take whoever you want but don't let it distract you. Your task is to bring Tsunade back in a timely manner. We have no time to waste here."

"Don't worry, I'll find Tsunade and she will be your Hokage." Jiraiya said. He just hoped that he could keep his promise. If not, he would more than likely become the Fifth Hokage. He was an excellent tracker however, and knew that one way or another he would find Tsunade. He found her once so he was certain he could do it again.

The village advisors left Jiraiya so he could prepare himself for yet another journey. He gathered the items that he would need on his travels faster than he normally did, for this time around he had a sense of purpose. He was tasked with finding not only the woman who would become the next Hokage, but also the woman he longed to see. He was excited to encounter her again, but also apprehensive. He had no contact with her for the years that they have been apart and therefore had no idea what kind of life she was leading. He just hoped that somehow whenever they saw each other again, that she would be happy to see him too.

After packing his travel bag, he headed over to Naruto's apartment to invite him to accompany him on his mission. At first, the young ninja had no desire to go for he thought that it would be yet another one of Jiraiya's meaningless excursions. However, when Jiraiya mentioned that he would teach him a new jutsu along the way, he quickly packed his bags and met Jiraiya at the front gate of the village within a matter of minutes. Jiraiya was shocked that the boy got ready so quickly, but then again it didn't come as much of a surprise since he would do just about anything to learn a new technique.

The two started their journey. Jiraiya decided to travel through towns that are well known for the gambling halls they possess. He figured that even if he doesn't find her in one town, the probability of him getting a lead on her location would be high. Tsunade was known far and wide as a die hard gambling addict, so when he thought about it perhaps she wouldn't be that hard to find. The fact that he also knew Tsunade like the back of his hand would help the situation as well.

"So where are you traveling to this time Pervy Sage?" Naruto asked when curiosity got the better of him. Jiraiya never really told him any details of why he was on a journey, so the young ninja had many questions about it.

"I'm trying to find a woman." Jiraiya simply said.

Naruto stopped dead in his tracks when he heard Jiraiya's response. Surely the sage was not going through the trouble of traveling from town to town just to find a woman, "Are you kidding me?!" He shouted in disbelief, "You're dragging me around just so you can find some lady?!"

Jiraiya laughed at the blonde boy's words, "She's a quite remarkable woman Naruto. You'll see for yourself once you meet her."

"What's so remarkable about her anyway?" He asked, "All the women you seem to be attracted to are anything but remarkable."

"You give me no credit at all." Jiraiya shook his head, "The woman we're looking for is named Tsunade and she is one of the Sannin like me." He explained and the two started walking again, "She's a great healer so we need to find her and bring her back to the village to heal your friends."

Just as Naruto and Jiraiya set out on their journey, Kakashi and Sasuke were attacked by Sasuke's older brother Itachi. They were both injured and needed medical attention. After hearing about Tsunade's medical skills, Naruto was eager to locate her so she could help his friends.

"We need to hurry up and find this Tsunade lady then." Naruto said with a newfound determination, "You have any idea where she could be?"

"In the last town we passed through I got some information that indicates that she could possibly be in a place called Tanzuku Town." Jiraiya explained, "Once we get there I'll ask around and hopefully find her. We need to move fast though. She tends to not stay in one place for too long."

"Are you forgetting that you also promised to teach me a new jutsu?" Naruto asked. He was determined to find Tsunade, but he didn't forget that he was supposed to be learning a new technique as well. He had no intentions on letting Jiraiya get away with not holding up his end of the bargain.

"I almost forgot about that." Jiraiya laughed. He then walked over to a stand situated in the town they were passing through and purchased all the water balloons, and rubber balls the owner had up for sale.

"Why'd you buy all those balloons?" Naruto asked, feeling very confused.

"Come on, follow me." Jiraiya instructed. He led Naruto over to the outskirts of town where a river ran throughout the field. He walked over to the river and filled one of the balloons with water. He then held the water balloon in his palm.

Naruto watched as the water balloon started to move in Jiraiya's hand until it burst, "How did that happen?" He asked, amazed at what he just witnessed.

"The new jutsu I'll be teaching you has three steps." Jiraiya said, "You just witnessed the first step which is rotation. I managed to spin the water within the balloon in multiple directions using my chakra until the balloon popped." He then filled another balloon with water and handed it to Naruto, "This step requires concentration. Go ahead and try it."

Naruto tried to use his chakra to rotate the water in the balloon, but failed at his attempt. Jiraiya made it look so easy, but Naruto quickly realized it wasn't as simple as it seemed, especially taking into consideration the fact that he did not excel in chakra control.

"I'll leave you to practice while I try to get a more solid lead on Tsunade. I want to make sure that she is actually in Tanzuku Town." Jiraiya said before placing the water balloons by Naruto and left him to work on the first step of the jutsu.

After about a day of gathering more information on Tsunade's whereabouts, Jiraiya was confident that she was in Tanzuku Town. They started their journey to their desired destination with Naruto still working on popping the water balloons with his chakra. It took him a while to master the first step, but after relentless practicing he finally managed to rotate the water with his chakra until the balloon burst.

Jiraiya then demonstrated the second step to the rather complicated jutsu. He retrieved a rubber ball from his backpack and held it within his palm. Naruto watched closely until he saw the ball pop in Jiraiya's hand much like the water balloon. The young ninja was certain that the second step would be just like the first, but when he gave it a try he realized it was much harder. The rubber ball was much thicker than the water balloon, therefore it would take denser chakra in order to break it. Naruto somehow had to intensify his chakra if he wanted to master the second step. The first step taught him rotation, and now he had to learn about power. He knew it was not going to be easy.

Naruto was left to his own devises again. He was having a difficult time with his task at hand and just wanted Jiraiya to stick around for moral support. He knew that finding Tsunade was Jiraiya'a top priority, but he thought it would help if he were to watch him train for a little. Instead of expressing his desires to his master, he decided to toughen up and work on the jutsu on his own. However, later that day Jiraiya returned to the spot he left Naruto at with a double popsicle in hand. He broke it in two and gave a half to Naruto. The two sat and ate the frozen treat, and Naruto couldn't help but feel a sense of belonging. Jiraiya also felt their bond grow stronger. After they enjoyed the popsicle, and relaxed a little, Jiraiya asked Naruto to show him the second step. With a newfound jolt of energy, Naruto gave it a go and to his surprise, the ball popped. He mastered the second step.

Naruto couldn't wait to see what the third and final step of the jutsu was. Jiraiya blew air into yet another balloon and held it in his palm as he did with the water ballon at the first step, and the rubber ball during the second phase. Naruto watched closely, expecting something amazing to happen, but nothing did. He thought Jiraiya was playing games with him until Jiraiya explained that the third step was to combine the first two steps which were rotation and power, but maintain it in a neat sphere shape without destroying the balloon. Naruto attempted to do as Jiraiya was doing, but kept bursting the balloon. He quickly realized that the final step was the hardest of them all.

The duo continued to travel until they arrived at the outskirts of Tanzuku Town. It took a while, but they were relieved they were finally there.

"Come on Naruto, lets go into town." Jiraiya said, walking towards the small village.

"You go on ahead." Naruto said, pulling out another balloon from his bag, "I'll catch up to you later. I want to work on the jutsu for a little."

"Don't overdo it Naruto." Jiraiya said, "If you don't rest you will be running the risk of exhausting your chakra."

"I'm not going to practice for too long." Naruto assured him, feeling touched that the older man cared about his wellbeing.

"Okay, but if you don't meet up with me in two hours I'm going to come back and get you." Jiraiya said, "Good luck."

Naruto waited for Jiraiya to be out of sight until he started to train once again. He would be lying if he said that the constant exertion of his chakra wasn't taking a toll on his body. The truth was that he was exhausted, but he refused to take it easy until he managed to master the last step. He attempted to maintain the rotation and the intensity of the sphere of chakra but destroyed the balloon again and ended up thrown onto the dusty floor due to the power of the jutsu. He was so frustrated, but when he rose from the ground, he saw that he was not alone. Standing there was a young girl around his age, with shoulder length blonde hair, and big obsidian eyes. Besides Sakura, she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen.

"Who are you?" Naruto asked, wondering who exactly the girl was and where she came from.

"My name is Mito." She smiled, "Sorry, I'm not allowed to tell you my last name. What's your name?"

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki and I'm a ninja from the Village Hidden in the Leaves." He said proudly.

"I know you're a ninja." She said, "I could tell by your headband that you're from the Leaf Village. I heard a lot about that village and it seems like a nice place. What are you doing anyway?"

Naruto could tell that the girl was rather inquisitive, "I'm working on a new jutsu so I can become stronger and become Hokage one day."

"Do you mind showing me?" Mito asked.

"Sure." Naruto blew air into another balloon and held it within his palm. He closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on his chakra control, but ultimately ended up bursting the balloon. He cried out in pain when the intensity of his chakra burned his hand.

Mito walked over to Naruto and held his damaged hand in hers. Suddenly her hands started to glow green and soon, Naruto's palm was healed without a trace that there was ever a wound.

"How did you do that?" Naruto asked while looking at his hand, amazed that he was no longer feeling any kind of pain and discomfort.

"I'll help you work on your new jutsu Naruto." She volunteered, "I can tell that it requires a significant amount of chakra control and that so happens to be my specialty."


	10. Familiar Faces

"Damn it!" Tsunade shouted as she slammed her fist against the glowing screen of the slot machine. She was hoping she would see three sevens before her hazel eyes, but she wasn't that lucky. She should have known better than to spend all her money on a game she could never win, but she couldn't help herself. Her bad habit was hard to break, so instead of walking away, she put more coins into the machine and pulled the lever.

She couldn't remember the exact moment in time when she developed a habit for all forms of gambling. Her earliest memory of the activity was in her youth, when she would watch her grandfather gamble with his brother. She spent so much time with her dear grandfather and idolized him that perhaps she just picked up on his bad habit. Of course her grandmother and parents did not approve, but she had little care about how they felt about it. She just wanted to be like her grandfather even though she was never any good at it.

She wasn't paying that much attention to the symbols on the machine, for she was expecting to lose again. It wasn't until she focused on what was in front of her did she realize that staring back at her were three sevens. Tsunade, the legendary sucker hit the jackpot.

"Lady Tsunade, you won!" Shizune shouted in disbelief and gained the attention of everyone else in the gambling hall. They all abandoned their games and walked over to Tsunade and watched in awe as money dispensed from the machine.

How did that happen? Was she seeing clearly? How was it possible that she actually won in a game of chance? As the money poured out the slot machine, the gamblers who surrounded her spoke about how lucky she was to have won the jackpot. She should have been happy and felt as if she were on top of the world, but all she could feel was a sickening uneasiness. Something was terribly wrong, but she had no idea what it could be. She was certain about one thing though, and that was getting out of Tanzuku Town as quickly as possible before the unthinkable occurred.

She gathered the money she won and quickly walked out of the gambling hall. Shizune followed behind her mentor with her pet pig, but was so confused as to why they would leave just as they started to make money.

"Lady Tsunade." Shizune said as she caught up to the flustered blonde, "What's wrong?"

"We have to get out of this town now." Tsunade said with a shaky voice, "We need to get back to the inn, pack our stuff, and leave."

"Why are we leaving?" Shizune asked, not understanding what was going through her mentor's mind, "We just started to win some money, and I didn't even get to see the great Tanzuku Castle."

Tsunade sighed heavily. She wanted to leave town as soon as possible, but she also remembered that she promised Shizune they would see the Tanzuku Castle, which just so happened to be the entire reason they were in that town. Shizune had a passion for seeing architecture or other places that were known as tourist attractions. Tsunade figured that the black haired girl treated sight seeing as something exciting and positive to do when constantly on the move. She felt as if she owed it to her apprentice to put off their departure from town for at least another hour, just so she could see the castle.

"Okay." Tsunade sighed, "But you have to look fast. We have to get out of here."

"Why the rush?" Shizune questioned as she started in the direction of the castle, "I'm sure that once we get there, you'll want to take more than just a glance at the castle. I heard it's supposed to be magnificent."

Tsunade was getting rather annoyed with her apprentice, but could hardly blame the girl for her naivety. She had no idea of the uneasiness her mentor felt and Tsunade couldn't fully explain why she felt so unsettled. It was a fact known far and wide that she never won while gambling. All she ever did was lose money, and now suddenly her luck changed. She knew it simply wasn't a coincidence and was positive that it was a bad omen. However, she didn't want to appear to be panicked in Shizune's presence. Therefore, as much as she wanted to rip her hair out, scream from the top of her lungs, and nervously bite her manicured nails, she tried to keep her composure.

The women arrived at the castle and as Shizune expected, it was a sight worth seeing. Standing in front of its magnificence made them feel small and insignificant, but also filled them with wonder and awe. Shizune especially wondered how it was possible that a man-made object could be so great and filled with such intricate detail. It left her speechless. Tsunade thought that the castle was impressive as well, but her flustered spirit prevented her from feeling as Shizune felt about it. She was just ready to leave.

"Are you ready now?" Tsunade asked, "We have to go."

"Just one more minute." Shizune begged, "It's so beautiful."

Suddenly, the ground started to shake. Initially they thought it to be an earthquake, but Tsunade had a sickening feeling that it was something else. She looked back up at the castle and saw as a giant snake appeared and completely destroyed the castle without exerting itself. The castle was then reduced to nothing but rubble and dirt on the ground. Shizune was horrified, but Tsunade had seen that monstrosity of a creature before. She was positive it was one of her former teammate's summoned animals. Her mind was telling her to flee the scene and avoid conflict, but it was as if she were frozen in place. She couldn't move, she couldn't breathe, and she couldn't think of anything but the fact that two seconds ago she stood before a great castle, and now she was staring familiarity in the face. Her gut instinct was right. Something horrible was about to occur.

"Long time no see, Tsunade." A voice that was terribly familiar said.

Tsunade felt as her heart started to beat rapidly in her chest. What was he doing there? What could he possibly want with her? A nervous bead of sweat ran down her back as she realized that whatever he was there for, it could be no good.

"Orochimaru." Tsunade said as the other Sannin came into view with a younger man standing beside him. When her eyes met his pale face, old memories of him came into her mind. She remembered when she first met him. He was a shy, quiet boy who had an aura of mystery to him. He became even more peculiar over the years as he grew older, up until the point he decided to turn against the village. He transformed into a sick and twisted individual who had little care for human life. His one and only ambition was to master every jutsu in the world and destroy anyone who got in his way. He has done countless of illegal human experimentation and killed too many people. He was a criminal wanted by so many, and now he was standing before Tsunade and all she could do was wonder why. She hadn't seen him in years, but all she could feel for him was disdain and disappointment. As children, they got along well and she once considered him as a friend. But all that went away the second he turned to evil and darkness.

"This is Orochimaru?!" Shizune said with terror in her eyes. She wasn't oblivious to his crimes. She heard all about him from Tsunade and from random people in villages they would pass through. She knew he was dangerous and was aware that her abilities paled in comparison to his. She felt shaky and weak in his presence, and knew that the only other people who could hold their own against the likes of Orochimaru were the two other members of the Sannin.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Tsunade asked coldly without taking her eyes off of the snake Sannin. She knew how lethal he could be and had to anticipate him making a bold move. He looked the same as he did the last time she had seen him, but something was off about him. She took immediate notice of his bandaged arms and could tell that his heart rate was irregular thanks to her medical training. Something was definitely wrong with him, but she couldn't figure out what it was.

Orochimaru chuckled at Tsunade's cold persona, "You haven't changed at all dear Tsunade." He said, "You don't have to be so cold. We are old friends after all."

"You are no friend of mine!" Tsunade shouted, "Get out of my sight."

"I was hoping I could ask a favor of you." Orochimaru said, ignoring her demands for him to go away.

"A favor?" She repeated, disgusted at the fact that he was trying to act as if they were on good terms, "As if I would ever help you."

"Don't be so quick to say that Tsunade." Orochimaru said.

Tsunade had little patience and wanted to know exactly why Orochimaru decided to find her and what kind of favor he had in mind, "What do you want?"

"Lord Orochimaru would like you to heal his arms." The man standing beside the black haired man said.

"And who the hell are you?!" Tsunade asked, annoyed that someone she had never met before was speaking on behalf of her old teammate.

"My name is Kabuto and I serve Lord Orochimaru." Kabuto said, "You see, Lord Orochimaru was in an altercation that resulted in his arms being paralyzed. You're the only one who can restore the function of his arms."

"What kind of altercation?" Tsunade asked, "That doesn't seem like any ordinary injury."

"Just an altercation between me and Sarutobi Sensei." Orochimaru said with no remorse, "The poor old fool paralyzed my arms before dying. I don't know what he was thinking, but he got what he deserved."

"What did you just say?!" Tsunade shouted in complete horror and disbelief. She felt as if all the air in her body got knocked out of her. She could not believe that her teacher was killed by his former student. She was hoping that she was just in a horrible nightmare and she would soon wake, but unfortunately it was reality.

"Lord Third is dead?!" Shizune said in shock and on the verge of tears. She looked to Tsunade for comfort but could tell that she was breaking inside.

"Don't act as if you care now Tsunade." Orochimaru said, "You abandoned that man and that village years ago."

"I suggest you get out of my face before I kill you." Tsunade warned, keeping her emotions at bay.

"Don't threaten me, not when I'm about to make you an offer you know you can't refuse." Orochimaru chuckled while Tsunade glared at him in hatred and disgust, "Heal my arms and I will bring your dear little brother and your lover back to life with a jutsu I developed."

Tsunade didn't know what to say. He was playing a dirty game. He of all people knew how close and how much Tsunade loved Nawaki and Dan, and how devastated she was when they passed away. She was still suffering the pain of their deaths, and here he was offering to restore their lives. It was a tempting offer, one that she would actually consider. But on the other hand, he killed her Sensei, and there's no telling what he would try to do once he regained the function of his arms.

"Don't you want to see them again?" Orochimaru said, trying his best to sway her in the direction he wished for her to choose.

Of course she wanted to see them again. There was nothing more she wanted than to talk to them again and be with them. Their deaths were the causes of her internal suffering and never ending grief. If they were to live again, she would be able to have a full life without sadness.

"What will you do once your arms are restored to you?" She asked and Shizune looked at her horrified that she was actually considering his offer.

"I'm not one to lie." Orochimaru said, "In addition to attaining everything I want in this wretched world, I'm going to destroy the Leaf Village."

Tsunade would be lying if she said she wasn't expecting him to say that. She knew that his intentions were not pure and he would not hesitate to destroy the village and everyone in it. She was the granddaughter of the man who built the village, so could she put her loyalties aside and give in to her selfish desires?

Orochimaru slowly brought his hand up to his mouth, though it pained him to do so. He then bit his finger until the skin broke and he started to bleed. He held out his bleeding finger so that Tsunade could see, and the second she did, she started to shake uncontrollably and took hold of the pendant of the necklace dangling from her neck. She was terrified at the sight of blood, thus confirming Orochimaru's suspicions.

"I see you haven't gotten over your fear of blood." Orochimaru laughed, "You don't have to give me an answer now. In three days, I expect to see you back here. I'm certain you'll make the right decision." He said, "Come Kabuto, we should be going. Our dear friend has a lot of thinking to do."

Once they were gone, Shizune wrapped her arms around Tsunade in a tight hug, "It's okay now, they're gone." She said in a soft voice, trying to get Tsunade to snap out of it. After a few minutes Tsunade stopped shivering. Shizune was even more frightened when she realized that Orochimaru knew Tsunade's weakness and was therefore playing mind games on her. What scared her to death was the fact that Tsunade was still in a fragile state of mind and she didn't know if because of that, Tsunade could be manipulated to making the wrong decision that would result in the detriment of the village.

"Let's go back to the inn so we can talk about this." Shizune said desperately. She felt the overwhelming need to knock some sense and reasoning into her mentor.

Tsunade ignored Shizune and walked in the direction opposite from where the inn was situated, "I need a drink."

Shizune was so worried based on how Tsunade was acting. She didn't know what to do and felt powerless, so instead of saying anything else, she reluctantly followed Tsunade to whatever bar she had the desire to visit.

"Are you a ninja too?" Naruto asked the girl he just met. He was amazed at how effortlessly she healed his damaged palm. He had only ever seen that type of jutsu be performed in the hospital by highly trained medical ninja. Therefore, he was curious to know how she managed to do it too.

She shook her head and took a seat in the grass, "I'm not a ninja." She sighed, as if she were upset that she was just a civilian, "I know basic ninjutsu, and taijutsu, and even some genjutsu for my own protection. I excel at medical ninjutsu, but I don't belong to a village so I never got any formal ninja training." She explained, "I always wanted to be a ninja and go on missions with my team, but I'm not sure if that will ever happen."

"You should move to the Leaf Village then so you can become a ninja." Naruto told her, "I'm sure everyone there will be thrilled to have you. You can even join the medical core."

"That sounds great Naruto, but I'm afraid that's impossible." Mito said regretfully, "But let's work on your jutsu some more."

Under her guidance, Naruto tried to focus on perfecting the final step of the new technique. She instructed him on how to properly mold and maintain his chakra, but he kept messing up resulting in the balloon popping over and over again. He wondered how someone who has never gotten any formal ninja training could be so adept at chakra control. If only he had her abilities then maybe he could master the jutsu a lot faster and without exerting himself so much.

The sun started to set and Mito realized that it was time for her to go even though she didn't want to. She wanted to see Naruto master the jutsu for it was as if she were living her ninja fantasies through him. She had never met a ninja in person before, and was fascinated in the life he must live. It was probably a thrill for him everyday as he embarks on new adventures. She wished she could live his life even if it were just for a day.

"I have to go." Mito said sadly, "But if we meet back here tomorrow around noon I can help you some more."

"I'm not sure if I'll still be here." Naruto said, "I'm on a mission with my master to locate this woman and bring her back to the village. She's supposed to be in this town. My master went off to see if he can find her."

"Maybe I can help." Mito suggested, "What does she look like?"

"The Pervy Sage never told me, but apparently they were once teammates." Naruto explained.

Suddenly Jiraiya returned, "Naruto, I told you not to overdo it." He said before realizing that Naruto was not alone. He looked at the young blonde haired girl and immediately walked over to her and placed his large hands on her tiny shoulders, "I finally found you Tsunade!"

"Have you had a drink too many Pervy Sage?!" Naruto shouted, "She is not Tsunade! How can she be when she's my age and Tsunade is supposed to be the same age as you?!"

"You idiot, this is exactly how she looked as a twelve year old girl." Jiraiya explained with his eyes locked onto Mito, "You transformed yourself into a young girl to skip out on your debt didn't you Tsunade."

Mito slapped Jiraiya's hands off her shoulders, "Get your hands off of me old man!" She said, revealing that she has a nasty temper, "I am not my mother!"

"Your mother?!" Naruto and Jiraiya said in union and in disbelief.

"Yes, my mother." Mito said, feeling strange that they were so shocked upon hearing who her mother was, "Her name is Tsunade and I'm her daughter Mito."

"There's no way that Tsunade had a kid!" Jiraiya said feeling shocked beyond belief.

"Yet here I am old man." Mito said as she folded her arms in front of her, "Wait, is she the one you're looking for Naruto?"

"She is, what a coincidence." Naruto said.

"Why are you trying to take her to the Leaf Village?" Mito asked, "What do you want with her?"

"She has to heal my friends." Naruto said, "They got injured really bad and because she's a great healer, we need her to help them."

"I still don't believe that you are Tsunade's kid." Jiraiya said, still not willing to believe that Tsunade had a child while they were apart.

"If you don't believe me then I can just take you to her so you can see for yourself." Mito rolled her eyes.

"Now it makes sense!" Naruto said, feeling as if he just cracked a complicated code, "You know medical ninjutsu because your mother taught you!"

"She knows medical ninjutsu?" Jiraiya asked.

"She does and she's really good at it too." He said and showed Jiraiya his palm, "I was injured and she completely healed it. You can't even tell that I was ever hurt."

Jiraiya looked at Mito once again. She was physically identical to Tsunade with the exception of her dark eyes and even shared her short temper. He didn't want to believe that she was actually Tsunade's relation because that would mean that Tsunade found someone else to love and had a child with him. But when he learned that the girl excelled at medical ninjutsu, he could no longer deny it. Of course Tsunade would teach her child the healing arts, "You said your name is Mito?" He asked.

"Yes, that's my name." She nodded.

"That was the name of Tsunade's grandmother." Jiraiya remembered out loud.

He suddenly had so many questions that were only appropriate for Tsunade to answer. When did she have her daughter? Was she a planned baby, or was it a pregnancy that was unexpected but wanted anyway? Where was the child's father? Did Tsunade manage to overcome her grief? It felt so strange to him that he was side by side with the daughter of the woman he loves and she was not of his genetics. Every time he looked at her, it was as if he were looking into the face of Tsunade when he first met her. It was strange, but he had to grow accustomed to this new addition, especially since he was tasked with bringing Tsunade back to the village to become the next Hokage. He then realized that because of Mito, his mission became a whole lot easier to complete.

"Mito, I think it's time you lead me to your mother."


	11. What Are You Doing Here?

"Where could they be?" Mito wondered out loud as she looked around the room only to realize it was completely unoccupied. She found it to be quite strange that her mother and Shizune were nowhere in sight. Nightfall was upon them and she wasn't even allowed to be out alone, so the fact that they weren't waiting up for her to find out where she has been was completely out of the ordinary.

Jiraiya could tell that the young girl was becoming more and more panicked with each passing moment. He didn't know anything about her, but he didn't want her to be worried when Tsunade was more than likely still somewhere in town. He had no clue what Tsunade was like as a mother, but was positive that she would never abandon her child, "Don't worry." Jiraiya said as he placed a reassuring hand on her tiny shoulder, "We'll find her."

Mito looked up at Jiraiya's kind face and felt as if she could trust him, "Okay." She said.

The trio walked out of the room and headed into town. On that particular night, the town was hosting a festival so it was more crowded than usual. Jiraiya knew that it would not make it easy to find Tsunade, but was hopeful nevertheless. Mito was still apprehensive, and Naruto was determined to locate the blonde healer, but Jiraiya knew that they were only kids that should otherwise be enjoying the festivities around them. Therefore, without saying a word he stopped by one of the booths and bought them each taiyaki, which was a fish-shaped treat filled with delicious, sweet bean paste.

"Here you guys go." Jiraiya smiled as he handed them both a sweet.

"Thanks Pervy Sage!" Naruto said and immediately started to eat the taiyaki.

Mito however, looked at the treat she was given and was somewhat confused. She never met Jiraiya before and he didn't know her on any level. All she did when she first met him was call him an old man, but his kindness was evident. He was helping her to locate her mother, and bought her a snack so she could enjoy something from the festival. She looked up at him with a smile, "Thank you." She started but suddenly remembered that she didn't know what his name was. It felt kind of inappropriate to her if she were to call him what Naruto did, "I'm sorry, but I don't know your name."

Jiraiya smiled, pleased with the opportunity to properly introduce himself, "I'm no other than Jiraiya." He started, "Legendary Sannin, and the handsome devil of the Leaf Village."

Mito giggled at Jiraiya's quirky introduction, "Thank you Master Jiraiya."

"It's getting late." Jiraiya said as he took notice of the time, "Let's keep moving."

They walked around the town for a few more minutes, but had no luck in finding Tsunade. Jiraiya then resorted to pulling out an old photograph that he had with him in order to show it to others in hopes that they have seen her.

"How do you have a picture of my mother?" Mito asked, "How do you know her anyway?"

"She hasn't mentioned me?" Jiraiya asked, hoping that he would hear what he wanted to hear.

Mito shook her head, "Never." She said, "I've never heard your name before."

Jiraiya sighed, but wasn't that surprised that Tsunade has never uttered a word about him to her daughter. Why would she mention a former lover to her young child anyway? Surely the girl's father wouldn't be too pleased if she did, "Tsunade and I go way back." Jiraiya started, "We used to be on the same team when we were both living in the Leaf Village."

"What was she like back then?" She asked, eager to know more about her mother's past.

"She was a lot like you, but was more impatient." Jiraiya recalled, "We didn't get along at first. I was certain that she hated every bone in my body. But the more we grew up, the more respect we gained for each other. She was strong, stronger than me I swear, and she was so smart. She had a tough exterior, but deep down I know that she was very caring."

"You seem to know a lot about her." Mito commented, "You perhaps know more about her than I do."

Instead of commenting on Mito's statement, he decided to not pry into the mother and daughter relationship that Tsunade and Mito shared. He then proceeded to show Tsunade's picture to random people, hoping that someone would recognize her. After asking a few people, an older man seemed to know her whereabouts.

"I saw that lady walk into a bar with another woman with black hair." The man said.

"That must be my big sister Shizune." Mito said, feeling hopeful, "But why would they be going to a bar? They don't drink."

Jiraiya wanted to blurt out laughing, because if anyone was a heavy drinker, it would be Tsunade. He wondered how Mito was completely unaware of that detail, but figured that perhaps Tsunade kept that part of her life hidden from the innocent eyes of her child.

"Let's go find out then!" Naruto said eagerly, "Point us in the direction she went old man!"

"She went that way." The man said as he pointed in the direction he saw the blonde walk in.

"Come on guys!" Naruto said as he started to go towards the bar Tsunade was supposedly at.

"Hold on Naruto." Jiraiya said as he held onto the boy's collar to prevent him from moving, "She's in a bar. You think they'll allow a kid like you to just walk in without adult supervision?" Jiraiya reminded the eager boy, "I'll lead the way. Come on Mito, let's go find your mom."

As they inched closer and closer to the bar, Jiraiya's heart started to beat rapidly within his chest. He was about to come face to face with Tsunade for the first time in years. However, he wasn't sure what to think about it and how to react. He imagined seeing her again under completely different circumstances, but the reality of the situation was that she now had a twelve year old daughter. That simply meant that she moved on from him and what they shared. He had no idea if she were still involved with her daughter's father, if they were married, or if he wasn't in the picture at all. He had so many questions, but knowing Tsunade, she would probably decline to answer them. He still loved her with all his heart, but if she really found love in someone else, then he would have to try to get over her.

They arrived at the bar and before entering, Jiraiya took a deep breath, "You kids stay behind me." He instructed the children before going inside. When he walked in, his eyes immediately landed on Tsunade. She was in the back of the tavern, sitting at a table with a bottle of sake with Shizune who seemed to be in deep thought. She didn't seem to be drunk, or even near intoxicated. He didn't think it to be possible, but she was even more beautiful than the last time he saw her. He stood there for a moment, admiring her, but also wondering about her life. It wasn't until she looked up and her hazel eyes met his that he felt completely at a loss for words.

"Tsunade!" He managed to blurt out.

"Jiraiya!" She said as soon as she realized that she was actually looking at the man she left so many years ago, "What are you doing here?"

Suddenly, Mito and Naruto moved from behind Jiraiya and Tsunade's attention immediately turned to her daughter.

"Mito?!" Tsunade said, shocked to see her daughter in Jiraiya's company, "What are you doing with Jiraiya? You don't even know him."

"I met Master Jiraiya and Naruto today mom." Mito said while walking towards her mother, "They were looking for you."

"Looking for me?" Tsunade said, diverting her attention from Mito to Jiraiya, "What is she talking about?"

Jiraiya and Naruto took a seat at the table Tsunade and Shizune were seated at, while Mito took a seat in between her mother and Shizune. Seeing Tsunade and Mito together was surreal to Jiraiya. He couldn't believe that Tsunade actually had a daughter and seeing them together made it so real. They looked so much alike it was baffling.

"Why have you been looking for me?" Tsunade asked again, growing impatient.

Jiraiya was hoping that he would have had the opportunity to have this conversation with Tsunade privately. However, he definitely did not expect to find her daughter before he even found her. Things were not going according to his plan so he just had to roll with the punches, "Aren't you even a little happy to see me?" He said with a sly smirk on his face.

"Who's this kid you have with you?" She asked, choosing to ignore Jiraiya's question. To her the inquiry itself was foolish, for he of all people should know that she missed him with every ounce of her being. It felt so good to see him again, after not laying eyes on his kind face for many years. During their time apart, her mind often wondered on where he was and how he was doing. How she wanted to embrace him and talk to him like no time had passed at all. However, her life was completely changed due to her precious addition. It was not as it was before and she was positive he had many questions for her, but questions she could not answer in the company of others.

"This is Naruto Uzumaki."

Tsunade looked at the blue-eyed boy and could hardly believe that he was the vessel of the nine tailed fox. She didn't know much about him other than the fact that he was the son of heroes and Jiraiya's godson, but he looked to be someone who was happy-go-lucky, reckless, and a dreamer. He shared the same characteristics as her dear, deceased brother. Just looking at him brought back so many memories of the twelve year old life that was lost.

"That's not all," He started, "I'm also his apprentice, he's teaching me a new jutsu."

Tsunade looked at the boy, amused that Jiraiya decided to become his master. She recalled how excited he was at the fact that he was named as the boy's godfather even before the kid was born. It was no wonder he decided to teach him. He was probably declined the opportunity to raise the spiky haired boy as his own, and was perhaps trying to make up for lost time. However, to Tsunade, Naruto didn't seem to possess any talent as a ninja, unlike the Fourth Hokage. But perhaps Jiraiya could change that with his tutelage.

"Why did you come here Master Jiraiya?" Shizune asked, changing the topic quickly for she too was curious as to why Jiraiya was searching for her mentor.

"I'm not sure if you're aware of this Tsunade, but Sarutobi Sensei was killed by Orochimaru." Jiraiya said and realized sadness in Tsunade's honey colored eyes.

Tsunade was hoping that Orochimaru's confession was just a sick lie, but having Jiraiya confirm it made it truly resonate within her heart. Her Sensei was actually dead, and she never got to say goodbye. She was devastated, but was trying so hard to keep up the unfazed persona she was trying to embody.

"The village needs a new Hokage." Jiraiya continued, "The elders decided on you."

Was she hearing correctly? Did Jiraiya really just tell her that she was chosen as the next Hokage of the Leaf Village? How could they possibly think that she was the best person for the job? Surely there must be someone else who could take on the role. She didn't know what to say. How does one react when they are told that they were chosen as the leader of an entire village? She turned her attention away from her white haired companion and proceeded to focus on the deck of cards in front of her.

"The Hokage?!" Naruto repeated, choking on the piece of food he had in his mouth, "No way!"

"My mom is going to be the Hokage?" Mito asked eagerly while looking at Jiraiya then at her mother, hoping to get some kind of clarity, "Does this mean we're going to move to the Leaf Village then?" She asked her mother while tugging on her arm excitedly, "Maybe I can finally be a ninja."

"Mito stop!" Tsunade said in a raised voice, "We aren't moving anywhere because I'm not going to be the Hokage."

"What?" Mito asked, "Why not?"

"I'm so confused!" Naruto groaned in frustration, "I thought we came all this way to get her to heal Kakashi Sensei, Sasuke, and Bushy Brow." He pointed at Jiraiya in an accusing manner, "And then you go and tell her that she's been chosen as the Fifth Hokage only to have her refuse it! What exactly is going on here?!"

"Calm down Naruto." Jiraiya started and then took a sip of his beverage, "It's a position she knows she can't refuse. She's the granddaughter of the very first Hokage, the man who built the village, she's a Sannin, and one of the most if not the strongest kunoichi the ninja world has ever seen. So with her skill and her lineage she is the clear and only choice for the position."

"That still doesn't mean that it's a position I'm going to take." Tsunade said as she shrugged her shoulders, "Go find someone else or better yet, you become the Hokage. I'm pretty sure they offered you the job and you threw my name out there so you wouldn't have to deal with it."

Jiraiya laughed at just how spot on Tsunade's theory was. Sometimes he thought she knew him better than perhaps he knew himself.

"You're being ridiculous mom!" Mito said in a defiant outburst, "Can't you see that we would have a much better life if you were to become the Hokage?! You never want to do anything I want to do! It's not fair!"

"That's enough Mito!" Tsunade said in an agitated voice, "Don't argue with me and don't think I forgot that you deliberately disobeyed me, left the inn, and met up with these two idiots." She said, "Shizune, take Mito back to the inn."

Shizune was processing everything that had happened that day. They met up with two of the other members of the Sannin in the same day. Orochimaru offered to bring Dan and Nawaki back to life in exchange for his arms being restored to him, while Jiraiya informed Tsunade that she was selected as the new Hokage. How did their lives become so interrupted so quickly? And why was Tsunade denying the role that she was clearly born to do? Was she actually considering taking Orochimaru up on his offer?

"Let's go Mito." Shizune said as she held Mito's shaky hand. She could tell her little sister was quite upset with her mother and wanted to take her away from all the negativity. She cared deeply for her and just wanted her to be happy. She knew Mito was completely unaware of the tragedy her mother was forced to live through therefore, she was ignorant on why her mother always seemed to be so cold and lacking of emotion. Shizune wished she could explain it all to her, but knew that it wasn't in her place to do so.

Mito rolled her onyx eyes and followed Shizune back to the inn. She was so angry with her mother for so many reasons, and felt as if she were denying her the chance to truly be a ninja. Sometimes she felt as if her mother didn't know her at all.

Once Tsunade was left alone with Naruto and Jiraiya, she started to drink some more. They probably thought that her drinking was just a bad habit, but at that moment it was stress induced. The truth was that her mind was going a mile a minute. She not only had Orochimaru's bargain weighing her down, but now she was offered a job of a lifetime and she just could not accept it.

"I might not be the brightest bulb in the box, but I do know that being the Hokage is a fool's game. Count me out." She said without any emotion or remorse.

"What did you say Granny?!" Naruto shouted, "Don't sit there and mock the Hokage! I'll wipe that smile off your face!"

"Is that a challenge?" Tsunade smirked, "You got guts if nothing else kid. Let's take this outside."

Jiraiya sighed heavily at the interaction between Tsunade and Naruto. This definitely was not going according to plan. He reluctantly followed the two outside, hoping that their altercation would not draw the attention of too many people.

"One of the Legendary Sannin going up against a snotty nosed Genin." Tsunade started in a condescending tone, "I should be ashamed of myself." She laughed and held up her index finger mockingly, "You see this? One finger is all I need to take you down."

"Oh stop showing off." Jiraiya rolled his eyes, but being acutely aware of his teammate's skills. Naruto didn't stand a chance at beating her nor did he have the right to even challenge her.

"Well, what are you waiting for kid?" She taunted the blonde haired boy, "Thought you were going to wipe the smile off my face."

"Don't ever underestimate me!" Naruto shouted as he charged at the woman, growing tired of her teasing. He threw three shuriken at her as a decoy, all of which she dodged effortlessly with her eyes closed. When he got close enough to her, he pulled out a kunai to attack, but she swiftly took the weapon out of his hand, threw it into the air, and knocked his headband off of his forehead with one quick movement. When he got his bearings together, she came closer to him and flicked his forehead with the same finger she taunted him with, and sent him flying in the opposite direction. When he landed on the ground he saw as the kunai fell in front of him followed by his headband. He looked at her in amazement. She was so skilled that his power flailed in comparison to hers. Now he could see how she was ranked in the same ninja class as Jiraiya.

"Hey kid!" Tsunade called out and drug Naruto out of his daze, "One question before you pass out."

He looked at her, wondering what other sly remark could possibly escape her mouth.

"What makes you so touchy about Hokage?"

Naruto smiled at her question, knowing the answer like the back of his hand, "It's because unlike you that's my goal." He said, "Just wait and see, one day I'll be the Hokage because to be Hokage is my dream."

Tsunade's eyes grew wide with shock upon hearing the boy's answer. Not only did he remind her of the two she lost, he also shared their dream of becoming the Hokage. Memories of her past flooded her mind and caused her to let her guard down. Naruto took that opportunity to try his new jutsu out on his opponent. He channeled his chakra into his palm like he was taught and once it formed into a sphere shape, he charged at her with fierce intent. The sounds of Naruto running towards her snapped her out of her deep thoughts. She saw the mere Genin wielding none other than the rasengan, the Fourth Hokage's jutsu. She couldn't believe that he was capable of performing such a complicated, highly ranked jutsu. Thinking on her toes, she split the ground open using one finger, causing Naruto to fall into the small crater, interrupting his imperfect jutsu.

"Jiraiya." Tsunade said, turning her attention from the defeated boy to her white haired teammate, "Are you the one that taught this kid the rasengan?"

"Of course I did." He said as he pulled Naruto out the crater, "I'm his teacher aren't I?"

"Why would you waste your time teaching it to someone who could never master it?" She asked, finding the idea of the kid learning the technique to be ridiculous and impossible, "Why would you fill his head with stupid ideas and actually make him believe that he could be Hokage one day?"

"I'll show you!" Naruto shouted while holding up three fingers, "Give me just three days and I'll have that jutsu down flat!"

"Watch what you say kid." She laughed, "I might just hold you to it."

"I never go back on my word. If I say I can master that jutsu, I can and I will."

"Care to make a bet on it then?" Tsunade said, an idea popping into her head.

"A bet?"

"I'll give you one week." She started, "If you can master it by then I'll admit I was wrong and that you're worthy of being Hokage. I'll even throw in my necklace." She said as she pointed to the piece of jewelry hanging from her neck."

"I'm not into jewelry, no thanks." Naruto shrugged, not seeing the beauty or the greatness in the necklace.

"You idiot." Jiraiya said to his apprentice, "That necklace belonged to the very First Hokage. That tiny thing is worth a gold mine."

Naruto suddenly became interested in the bet upon hearing the worth of the necklace, "Lady, you got yourself a bet."

Usually Tsunade would not gamble her necklace, for the piece of jewelry carried a lot of significance and was special to her. It was a gift her grandfather gave her, and one she passed down to both Nawaki and then to Dan. It came back into her possession when they passed away and ever since she swore that the necklace itself was cursed and would only accept her. It served as a constant reminder of the ones she lost. It was the only thing she had to remember them by. Some would only think of it in terms of its monetary value, but it meant so much more to Tsunade than dollar signs, "Alright. But if you can't master it, you have to admit I was right."

"Deal!" Naruto said and then ran off to train. He was not about to lose the bet. He wanted the satisfaction of seeing the look on her delicate face when he masters the jutsu and he also wanted her to acknowledge him as a worthy candidate for Hokage. He had a lot of work to do.

Now that Jiraiya and Tsunade were alone, Jiraiya decided to take advantage of the situation, "Are you sure you want to gamble with the necklace?" He asked, remembering the significance the necklace held in her life.

"He doesn't have a chance at winning it." Tsunade said as she rolled her eyes.

"He might just surprise you." Jiraiya said before moving on to more serious topics, "I had no idea you had a kid." He started and saw how uncomfortable she was becoming with the conversation, "She looks just like you, but you seem to be a little harsh with her. She wants to be a ninja like you, is that really such a bad thing?"

"Don't question my parenting Jiraiya." She warned in a serious tone.

"What does her father have to say about it? Does he know she wants to be a ninja?"

Tsunade tensed up at his question and felt the dire need to end their conversation as soon as possible, "That's none of your business."

"Where is he at anyway?" Jiraiya asked, looking around for a man who resembled Tsunade's daughter in the slightest, "Your kid is twelve so that simply means you met the guy shortly after you left me. Are you still with him? Are you married? I feel like I don't know you at all anymore."

"Jiraiya stop!" She shouted, getting extremely irritated with him, "He's not in the picture." She said, "You can go back to the Village now and take up your position as Hokage, because I'm not the one."

"Sorry princess, no can do." He shook his head, "I can't go back there without you, so one way or another, I'll get you to say yes." He said with a smile but then grew serious, "Why are you so cold with me anyway? We didn't leave each other on bad terms. What happened to make you like this?"

"That is also none of your business." She said then walked away from him. She didn't mean to be so rude to him, especially since he did nothing wrong. But he had no idea what hell she went through when they separated, and she was too emotionally damaged to explain it all to him. She didn't know how her life became so messy, but hoped and prayed that somehow, someway, it would all change for the better.


	12. 12 Years Earlier

Twelve Years Earlier…

It was another day, and she felt no happier than she did the day before. It was raining heavily, the dark, gloomy skies mirroring her constant mood perfectly. She wished she could see the silver lining behind the rain cloud of her soul, but felt as if happier days would never come. It has been two weeks since she left Jiraiya behind and she could still feel his lips against hers, and his strong yet gentle arms snake their way around her body. She missed him. She knew that to be a fact. But despite how much she wished she could be in his presence, it wasn't enough to will her back into his embrace.

She never expected to fall in love with him in such a short period of time. Perhaps she has been in love with him far longer than she expected or was willing to admit. But every time, she pictured a perfect life with him, it would almost always end in travesty, and seemingly never ending tears. She refused to put herself through that kind of trauma again. But why did it hurt so much to be apart?

She looked around the room she was currently occupying and saw Shizune asleep in bed with TonTon curled up next to her. She looked so peaceful as she slept, as if she had nothing to worry about. She envied her student for that, but was also happy that her own personal struggle did not rub off on the young girl. Above anything else, she wanted her to live a full life and not be weighed down by sadness and pain. She recalled when she used to be happy and view the world as half full rather than half empty. Those were better times, but now she transformed into a bitter pessimist that just could not find any joy no matter how hard she tried. That's why she ran from Jiraiya. Because she could not allow herself to love and be loved in return, for in the back of her mind she was always of the belief that no good could ever come of it.

It was early in the morning, but the rays of the sun could not seem to cut through the thick, dark clouds making it appear as if it were still night. Under normal circumstances, Tsunade would still be asleep but she didn't sleep a bit the night before, and she felt an uneasiness within. The truth was that she was unable to fall asleep for a few days now, and her body felt ragged and run down. Perhaps her mind was far off, wherever Jiraiya was at the moment and prevented her from sleeping or doing anything else to exercise self-care.

Suddenly, a wave of nausea overcame her being, and she felt the need to empty the contents of her stomach. She ran to the bathroom and buried her face into the porcelain throne, her throat burning as the hot liquid spewed out her mouth. After throwing up what little nutrients she had in her stomach, she flushed the mess away and brushed her teeth. Looking in the mirror, she looked at her haggard appearance and figured she contracted a stomach bug. She just didn't know when she became sick. Feeling the need to throw up again, she returned to the toilet and wretched up whatever was left in her stomach. This was no ordinary stomach bug, and she only hoped that Shizune would not become infected as well. However, after going over the symptoms of the stomach flu in her mind, she deduced that she only had one symptom. Perhaps she didn't have the stomach flu after all.

Being a world renowned medic, she knew better. Feeling slightly panicked, she brushed her teeth again and splashed some cold water onto her face in order to calm her frazzled nerves. This could not be happening. A shaky hand ventured to her flat stomach, and landed there. Focusing her chakra into her palm, she tried to assess the situation and when she detected a faint presence of another chakra buried within her womb, she knew it wasn't just her anymore.

She recalled her last sexual encounter. It was a breathtaking moment between her and a man she didn't even know she loved. Both were too caught up in the wonder of it all and the passion they didn't know they had for each other, that protection was never discussed. It was no surprise that she found herself in this predicament. She wanted to throw up again, but not because of the morning sickness that comes with pregnancy, but because of just how scared she was.

She wanted to scream and run away. But even if she did, she would not be able to escape her new reality. The only way out would be to cut her pregnancy short and end the life of the tiny human growing inside of her. She tried to tell herself that it would not be a big deal, that it was just a tiny collection of cells. But the thought of going through with the unthinkable, made her feel even more nauseas.

What was she going to do? Motherhood was never something she ever considered not only because she questioned her maternal instincts, but because of the war stricken world she lived in. It was a world in which children died at the hands of adults, their limbs were blown off by bombs, and some were left to fend for themselves at tender ages. She has seen too many children who were victims of war starve in the street without a friend in sight, and countless of those children grew up to be revenge-seeking killing machines. Her former friend Orochimaru suffered a similar fate the moment his parents succumbed to their war injuries. How could she possibly bring an innocent child into a world of such darkness? How could she shield her child's eyes from such pain and sorrow?

She closed her eyes and tried to remember the happy life she had growing up. She had both parents, a little brother, and grandparents who adored her. She was fortunate enough to have a roof over her head and daily meals. So many people didn't have that and she was grateful for her blessings. Her mother was a prime example of what a good parent and role model should be. She was calm and gentle and loving to a fault. Tsunade could not compare to that and she knew it. She felt sorry that her child was stuck with her as a mother. She wished she could give her child the normalcy and happiness she had as a child, but feared that it would be impossible with her current state of depression and the instability of the ninja world.

She honestly did not know what to do and yearned for some divine intervention to give her some solutions to all her questions and what if's. The only thing she knew for sure is that she would not be able to live with herself if she denied the child a chance at life. The kid would already be at a disadvantage with an emotional train wreck as a mother, but who was she to decide not to at least give it a fighting chance? Therefore, as unfortunate as it was, the kid was stuck with her.

Now she had to prepare herself for nine months of weight gain, fatigue, unusual cravings, swollen ankles, and intensified mood swings. After enduring all that, she would rewarded with a baby she was uncertain she would even have a connection to. She figured, the child would be born and feel like a complete stranger to her. Shizune would more than likely be thrilled, but Tsunade couldn't even say she was excited. It sounded horrible to admit out loud, especially since mothers-to-be can't wait to meet their children. But all Tsunade could think about was the crippling fear she had about ruining the kid's life, which was probably the inevitable in her case.

After a few days of coming to terms with the fact that she was going to have a baby, she decided to tell Shizune. Of course the raven haired girl was thrilled at the prospect of having a baby around and being a big sister. The girl radiated happiness, while Tsunade retreated more and more into herself with each passing day. She kept herself in good health, doing everything she possibly could to do right by the developing fetus. After her first trimester, she settled in a small town for the duration of her pregnancy. Then after months of being a human incubator, it was time to bring the child into the world.

It was one of the scariest moments in her life. The moment her water broke, all the fears she tried to suppress during her pregnancy came to light and she wanted to go back in time when she didn't use protection and right that wrong. With each contraction, she grew even more afraid of the child hating her guts and running away to seek a better life. After what seemed like forever, the baby was born, cleaned up, swaddled, and then handed to her. It was a girl with a head of blonde hair. Tsunade nervously looked at the infant in her arms and felt the kind of love she has never felt before. She feared she wouldn't feel a connection to her own child, but sitting there with her little girl in her arms, she felt quite the opposite.

She wanted to give the baby the world. She didn't want her to know pain and suffering. She didn't want her to be like her. In that moment, she realized her life did not belong to her anymore, nor did it matter. Her life now belonged solely to her little baby, and no matter what she would protect her with everything she had. She stroked her chubby, rosy cheek with her thumb and gave her the name that was her grandmother's; Mito.

Shizune cooed at her sweet little sister and stroked her blonde hair, "Are you going to let him know Lady Tsunade?" She asked her mentor.

Mito looked up at Tsunade, opening her eyes for the first time. Tsunade peered down at her baby and saw that the child had big, onyx eyes, the same eyes that she inherited from the man who helped create her. Through her eyes, Tsunade saw the man she loved. She wanted him to share in that moment with her and watch as their child grew up. But then, she thought of him suffering the same fate as Dan and Nawaki. She thought about how devastated she would be and suddenly it wasn't about her anymore. She thought of what that trauma would do to the innocence of her perfect daughter. How could she put her child through that only to have her become a grief stricken shell of a person? She couldn't, and made a decision that some would say was selfish and idiotic, but a decision that she thought to be the best.

"No, Shizune." Tsunade shook her head and held her baby close, "Mito will only know of me and you. We're her family, that's it."

She felt guilty for the decision she made. He would surely hate her if he were to find out that she denied him of his paternal responsibilities. However, all she cared about was taking care of her baby, even if that meant doing it alone. Her life carried new meaning now. Depression and heartache were still contributing factors to who she was, but the love she had for her child carried her and willed her to go on with it.


	13. Do Better

It seemed as if her life was just a series of unfortunate events waiting to unfold. She thought she already hit rock bottom, but it turns out that she didn't actually visit that low point until now. Blatantly lying to the man who fathered her child was something she never thought she would have to do. She swore that she would never come across him again, but the moment she came face to face with him in that tavern after so many years, her heart felt as if it were going to explode out her chest out of anxiety, but also out of love. Yes, she still loved him after spending so much time apart, but the guilt she felt for concealing the single most important thing that were to ever happen to him was eating away at her.

At the time of her daughter's birth, she thought she made the right decision by keeping Jiraiya in the dark about her existence. She thought she was protecting her child and also herself from the pain of potentially losing Jiraiya, just like how she lost Nawaki and then Dan. She felt so secure in the choice she made, and raised that little girl all by herself. But seeing Jiraiya alive and well made her rethink her decision and made her wonder that perhaps she didn't have to go at it alone all along.

Over the years, Mito had questions about her father. Who was he? Why wasn't he around? Tsunade didn't know what to say, or how to explain the complex situation to the young girl that she simply told her that he just wasn't in her life but loved her from afar. It must have been so confusing for a girl at an impressionable age to accept such a vague answer. If he loved her, then shouldn't he be in her life? But after hearing her mother's answer, Mito didn't further question it. Tsunade often wondered how Mito felt growing up without a father. It was something she could never fathom, for she was lucky enough to have both her parents in her life. Sometimes she felt like a bad mother for keeping Jiraiya away from Mito when it perhaps never had to be that way. The similarities between Jiraiya and Mito were uncanny. They may not look alike, but they shared the same dark eyes, and an adventurous, happy-go-lucky personality. However, as Mito matured more and more into a teenager, she picked up Tsunade's temper. Tsunade could not deny how much Mito reminded her of Jiraiya, no matter how many times she tried to water it down. It was clear that Mito was definitely Jiraiya's child, especially when she would get so excited upon seeing a frog at a pond when she was a toddler.

On top of the secret she has been carrying with her for so many years, and being offered the Hokage position, she also had Orochimaru's bargain circling in her mind. She would be lying if she said she wasn't tempted by his offer to revive her lost loved ones. How wonderful it would be to see them again. Nawaki would get the opportunity to meet his niece, and maybe, just maybe she would get to pick up where she left off with Dan. She immediately stopped walking when that thought crossed her mind. What would she do upon seeing Dan again? Vow to love him for the rest of her life and raise another man's child with him? The thought seemed absurd. She knew she loved Dan, but was she still in love with him? Suddenly, Orochimaru's offer didn't seem so tempting after all. She decided to still meet up with the snake Sannin, but it wouldn't be to heal his incapacitated arms.

She walked into the inn she was currently occupying, and saw Shizune trying to calm an obviously upset Mito down. She knew she was the cause of her daughter's anger. She completely understood why Mito was so angry, but she knew there was no way she could be the Hokage just to appease her child. Being the Hokage is a big responsibility, and she felt as if she was not suited for the job. How could she protect an entire village if she couldn't even protect two people from their demise?

"Lady Tsunade." Shizune said upon realizing that Tsunade joined them in the room, "Can I speak to you outside for a minute?"

Tsunade nodded her head and exited the room with the younger woman. She already anticipated what Shizune wanted to speak to her about.

"You were still with Master Jiraiya?" She asked, even though she was quite aware of the answer, "Did you tell him about what happened with Orochimaru?"

Tsunade shook her head, "No and neither are you."

Shizune looked frightened, "Are you actually considering his offer?" She asked, afraid of the answer, "Please tell me you aren't."

"How's Mito doing?" Tsunade asked, completely changing the topic.

Shizune wanted to squeeze an answer out of her mentor. She didn't want to talk about anything else. The only thing on her mind, and the one thing that was driving her absolutely insane was the encounter they had with another of the Legendary Sannin, the evil of the trio, Orochimaru. However, as much as she was screaming internally at her mentor, she knew she couldn't push too hard or Tsunade would snap. So she decided to leave it alone, for now, "You know she's upset Lady Tsunade." Shizune said, "She thinks that by you becoming the Hokage, she'll finally get the chance to be a ninja. She wants that life so much. Would it be such a bad thing?"

"You of all people know why I can't be the Hokage." Tsunade said, "I'm not what they need."

"Did you tell Master Jiraiya about Mito?" She asked bravely.

"Of course not."

"Don't you think he should know?" Shizune said, "It's been twelve years."

"I'll tell him in my own time in my own way." Tsunade said.

Shizune knew better than to continue to poke and prod for answers, so she left it alone and watched as Tsunade reentered the room. Once Tsunade was in the room she walked over to her pouting daughter and sat on the bed, "Mito." She started, but the girl turned away from her. She persisted nevertheless, "Living in the Leaf Village would be dangerous. I should know, I lived there before."

"I know you grew up in the Leaf Village, but that's about it." Mito said, turning to face her mother, "I don't know what happened to make you so afraid of returning there, but living your life in fear is not living at all."

Tsunade never shared details of her past with her daughter. In fact, Mito was completely ignorant of the fact that her mother once had a younger brother. It was as if Tsunade just did not know how to speak of her trials and tribulations without surely breaking down before the eyes of her child. Therefore, she kept it to herself, hoping that Mito would never pressure her to reveal her truth. Secrecy and silence between mother and daughter is what it boiled down to. While Mito was accustomed to their dynamic, she secretly loathed it. She hated that her mother never opened up to her, but instead tried to keep her locked away from the world. Shizune always told her it was because her mother only wanted to keep her safe, but Mito was adventurous and yearned to experience the ups and downs of life itself. She also wished her mother wasn't so cold and distant, but realized she couldn't change her mother and was left only to accept her for who she was.

"Mito, you have to understand," Tsunade started.

The young girl turned from her mother once again, "I don't want to talk anymore. Goodnight."

Tsunade sighed, feeling defeated and retreated to her side of the room. As a mother, she could have punished Mito for her blatant disrespect, but she could hardly blame the child for being angry. In fact, Tsunade was angry with herself. She lied to Jiraiya, withheld important information from him for twelve years, and couldn't even share details of her own life with her child, and for what reason? Because she was damaged beyond repair? She was considered to be one of the strongest ninjas the world had ever seen, so why couldn't she put her pieces back together, overcome her past, and reveal her truth? Why was it so difficult for her? With all her failures at the forefront of her mind, she slipped into bed hoping that sleep would soon claim her, but not prepared for the nightmares it would bring.

~~~

Naruto awoke from his slumber and felt a new sense of determination. No matter what he vowed that he would win the bet against Tsunade. He sprung out of bed and turned to see that Jiraiya was still sound asleep. Naruto sighed when he realized that Jiraiya would not be getting up anytime soon. He figured that he would be training on his own for the day. He got himself ready for the day before heading down to the dining hall to indulge himself on a hearty breakfast before heading off to train. After his meal, he was ready to go when he remembered that Mito told him she would help him with his training. There wasn't much the girl could teach him that he didn't already learn from Jiraiya especially since she wasn't officially a ninja. But she did excel in chakra control and that was the key to the rasengan. He decided to ask for her help.

He made his way over to Mito's room and knocked on the door, hoping that her mother wasn't around. He waited for a minute before the door opened, revealing Shizune.

"Naruto." Shizune said, "What are you doing here?"

"Is Mito around?" He asked while looking over Shizune's shoulder, peering into the room to see who else was in there.

"Why do you ask?" She questioned the boy.

Naruto sighed, feeling slightly annoyed that he was being interrogated, "She promised me that she would help me train."

"She said she would help you train?" She repeated, "But she technically isn't a ninja. How can she help you? I don't think this is a good idea." Shizune expressed. In reality, Shizune was not the one who had objections to Mito being in the company of Naruto. She just thought that Tsunade would not be comfortable with the idea, especially since Naruto was the student of Mito's father. Perhaps the more time Mito spent around teacher and pupil, the more obvious her parentage would become. Shizune knew Tsunade didn't want her secret to come out just yet and she had to respect that.

"Who's at the door Shizune?" Mito asked and appeared in the door frame next to her sister, "Hi Naruto." She said once she realized that Naruto was there, "What's going on?"

"Can you help me train?" Naruto blurted out before Shizune had the chance to say anything, "You promised remember."

"Sure!" Mito replied happily.

"Why do you want her help so badly?" Shizune asked, "Isn't Master Jiraiya supposed to be your teacher?"

"That old perv is still asleep." Naruto said while rolling his blue eyes, "Besides, he already taught me the basics. What I need help with is chakra control. That's where Mito comes in. I need to win the bet."

"Wait, what bet?" Shizune asked.

"The bet I made against Granny Tsunade." Naruto said and watched as confusion arose on their faces, "If I can master this jutsu within the week, then she'll admit that I'm worthy of being the Hokage and she'll give me her necklace."

"Why would my mom gamble with her necklace?" Mito wondered out loud, "She never takes it off and never let me wear it once."

"Naruto, don't take this too seriously. She can't part with the necklace." Shizune said.

"Well she should have never gambled with it because I'm going to win and prove her wrong."

Naruto said, "So can Mito help me?"

"Shizune, mom isn't here and she said she'll be back before sunset. She doesn't have to know." Mito said while holding Shizune's hand, "Please just let me go for a while and I'll be back before you know it."

Shizune looked at her little sister and couldn't help but feel obligated to allow her to go. She knew that all Mito wanted to do was explore and learn more about the world she lived in. Who was she to keep her locked away. It was against Tsunade's wishes, but what she didn't know couldn't affect her, "Alright Mito." Shizune sighed, "But make sure you're back before your mother gets here."

"Thanks Shizune!" Mito said as she wrapped her arms around her body in a tight hug, "Let's go Naruto."

As the two twelve year olds walked towards the field located in the outskirts of town, Mito couldn't help but wonder how Naruto came to be Jiraiya's apprentice, "Hey Naruto, I have a question."

"What is it?" He asked.

"How did Master Jiraiya become your teacher? I thought you were a member of a ninja squad. Is Master Jiraiya your team members' Sensei too?"

Naruto shook his head, "Kakashi Sensei is the Jounin in charge of Team 7." He started, "But he spends a lot of time training Sasuke so he got Ebisu Sensei to do my extra training."

"Who's Ebisu Sensei?" Mito asked.

"He's a Jounin who didn't really teach me anything." He shrugged his shoulders, "While I was out training with him I met the Pervy Sage and then he took over my training. He's been my master ever since."

"You're so lucky Naruto." She said with a hint of sadness in her voice, "You get to travel with your teacher and learn new techniques in the process. Your life must be so exciting, a new adventure every day."

Mito wished she could live the life of a ninja. Facing challenging yet exciting situations every day, defending her homeland, and being free and unfettered. The life she was currently living was quite uneventful. She traveled from village to village, spent countless hours locked away in less than appealing inns, and barely had any meaningful conversations with her mother. The only time she experienced real joy was when Shizune allowed her to venture off and explore, or if she snuck out unbeknownst to the adults in her company. She envied Naruto for his freedom and wished that they could somehow switch places for even a day. She just wanted to know what it was like to get a taste of true adventure. Perhaps that's why she took a liking to Naruto and even to Jiraiya.

"I wouldn't say that I'm lucky." Naruto said in a more serious tone, "Sure, I get to see new places and meet new people, but my life hasn't been easy."

They arrived at the training field and the two sat in the grass to finish their conversation.

"What do you mean?" She asked, not really understanding the hardships he claimed to have endured.

He took a deep breath before continuing, "Everyone in my village hated me." He started, "They called me a loser, I had no friends and I didn't understand why. On top of that I don't have any parents. Things got better when I met Kakashi Sensei, Sasuke, Sakura, and the Pervy Sage, but Mito, you're very lucky to have parents."

"I just have my mom, I never knew my father." She admitted, "My mom says that he loves me but can't be around me. I never understood that. If he loves me then shouldn't he be in my life? It's so confusing and another reason for me to be frustrated with her."

"Adults can be confusing in general." Naruto said and realized that the conversation was becoming too depressing, "But don't worry." He said as he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "Just don't let the bad things that happen to you define who you are." He smiled.

"How about we start your training?" She said, not wanting to talk anymore but instead wished to help Naruto master his jutsu, "You have a bet to win."

~~~

It was almost sunset when Jiraiya was walking through Tanzuku Town. He spent the day trying to understand why Tsunade was so cold and distant towards him, why she seemed to be strict with her child, and why she was reluctant to accept the Hokage position. After manifesting in his thoughts, he just could not come up with any answers. Tsunade was like a mystery to him. As he continued to walk he encountered Shizune who looked to be frantic as she hurried through town. He wondered why she seemed to be so frazzled and decided to catch up to her. When he was closer to her he called out her name, "Shizune, what's wrong?" He asked.

She stopped walking when she heard her name. She turned around to see Jiraiya and almost felt relieved to see his face, "It's Mito." She started, "She went to help Naruto train but I told her to be back before sunset and she hasn't returned yet. Lady Tsunade will return to the inn any moment now and when she sees that Mito isn't there she's going to flip out."

"Tsunade does realize that Mito isn't a baby right?" He asked while rolling his obsidian eyes. For the life of him he couldn't understand why Tsunade insisted on treating Mito like an infant.

"No disrespect but I don't have time for your sarcasm Master Jiraiya." Shizune sighed and started to walk again, "I have to find Mito."

"Hold on Shizune." Jiraiya said as he took hold of her upper arm to prevent her from walking away from him, "I know where they are." He told her, "I'll take her home but I need you to tell me something."

"What is it?" She asked.

"What's going on with Tsunade?" He asked, knowing very well that Shizune of all people should know exactly why Tsunade was acting so strangely.

Shizune froze upon hearing Jiraiya's question. She figured he was depearate to know the happenings in Tsunade's life when they went their separate ways, but she was in no position to tell him anything. She could not betray Tsunade's trust, "I'm sure I don't know what you mean Master Jiraiya." She lied.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about Shizune." Jiraiya asserted, clearly seeing past her fib, "She's not herself."

"She's been through a lot Master Jiraiya." She reminded him, refusing to say anything else.

"We've all been through a lot." He said louder than he should have, "I lost her, Minato and Kushina died and so did Sarutobi Sensei, but here I am." He said, feeling the pain he felt when those unfortunate events happened in his life.

"She was in love with you." Shizune said, growing tired of the conversation, "You had to have known that. She loved you so much but was afraid to love you that's why she left."

"What about Mito's father?" He asked and Shizune felt her heart stop, "Did she love him too? Where is he?"

"That's not for me to say." Shizune told him, "Look, if you don't want to help me find Mito then that's alright, but I'm not going to tell you things that I have no right to tell you."

Jiraiya should have known that Shizune's loyalty was with Tsunade and she would never do anything to betray her. He just wanted to get some information about her so badly that he wasn't thinking clearly. The only way to get intel on Tsunade was to go directly to the source, "I'm sorry Shizune." He apologized, "I'll find Mito and take her home. You just find a way to stall Tsunade, and if she gets suspicious just tell her that Mito is with me."

"Thank you Master Jiraiya." She said and noticed how defeated he looked, "Just give her time." She told him before heading off in the direction of the inn.

~~~

Jiraiya arrived at the training field and saw Mito healing Naruto's palm. He was amazed to see that for a girl of her age, she was quite adept at medical ninjutsu. There was no doubt in his mind that she was Tsunade's child. Of course she would ensure that her daughter be skilled in the healing arts. Naruto however, looked burnt out. He wasn't surprised that the blonde knucklehead was overdoing it. He was aware that Naruto wanted to win the bet, but pushing himself to the limit was not the way to do it.

"Naruto, what did I say about going overboard with your training?" Jiraiya asked as he stepped closer to the pair.

Naruto smirked at Jiraiya, "I have to work hard to win the bet against the miserable granny." He said but remembered that he was in the presence of that miserable granny's daughter, "Sorry Mito, no offense."

Mito giggled at Naruto'a apology, "Don't worry about it."

"Mito, you know it's past the time you're supposed to go home." Jiraiya reminded her, "Shizune is worried sick and your mother is going to freak out."

"Don't remind me." Mito sighed, "She never lets me do anything."

"I understand your frustration, but she is your mother and you have to do as she says." Jiraiya told the young girl. It felt strange to him that he was actually being a responsible adult, "Let me take you home."

Mito finished healing Naruto's palm and rose reluctantly to her feet, "Fine." She sighed.

"You too Naruto, let's go." Jiraiya said but Naruto didn't budge.

"Can I just stay for another hour." He asked, "I promise after the hour is up I'll go straight back to the inn."

Jiraiya thought about it for a minute before agreeing to the blonde boy's request, "Alright kid, but if you're not back at the inn in an hour no more training without my supervision. Got it?"

"Loud and clear!" Naruto agreed.

Jiraiya and Mito started in the direction that would lead them back into town and ultimately back to the inn. As they were walking, Jiraiya couldn't help but feel as if he were walking beside a miniature version of Tsunade. It was baffling how they resembled each other, but their personalities were quite different. He also couldn't help but wonder why mother and daughter had such a strained relationship. He figured it had something to do with Tsunade never allowing Mito any kind of freedom, but after his encounter with Shizune, he didn't want to poke and prod at Mito for answers.

They walked in silence with the occasional sigh from Mito. He could tell how unhappy she was and wanted to do something to cheer her up. He wasn't sure what he could do since he didn't know her all that well, but he wanted to try.

"Hey, are you hungry?" He asked her.

She shrugged her shoulders, "Not really."

He could tell she was lying and was probably upset with him for taking her back to her mother, but he was good with kids and knew exactly what to say, "You know if we stop to eat the longer it'll take us to get back to the inn."

He watched as she thought about it and when he saw a small smile emerge on her face, he knew it worked.

"I suppose I could eat something." She said, trying to make it sound like stopping to eat or going back to the inn didn't matter to her.

"Great!" He smiled, "What are you in the mood for? What do you like?"

"I like ramen but I don't have it very often since my mom and Shizune don't care for it." She told him, "Do you like ramen?"

Jiraiya couldn't believe that a child of Tsunade would like ramen. Tsunade hated it while Jiraiya loved it. It was the only thing he ate when he was writing his first novel, "Of course I like it. Let's get that."

The two found themselves at a nearby ramen shop. They were the only ones there which Jiraiya was happy about. It would give him an opportunity to get to know Mito better. The ramen shop owner came over to take their orders. Jiraiya ordered a large bowl filled with fish cakes and scallions, while Mito ordered a smaller bowl with boiled eggs and pork. As they waited on their meals, Jiraiya took the opportunity to engage the girl in conversation.

"So Mito, when did you learn medical ninjutsu?"

"My mom started to teach me when I was eight." She replied, "Shizune helped to teach me too." She then looked at Jiraiya with seriousness in her eyes, "I know you're trying to get to know me better Master Jiraiya, but I have a few questions for you."

Jiraiya was slightly taken aback by what she had to say. She was straight to the point which was a quality she more than likely inherited from her mother, "What would those questions be?"

"I know you grew up with my mom, that means you know her well." She started, "So my first question is, why did she leave the Leaf Village?"

Jiraiya didn't know what to say. It was strange to him that Tsunade didn't bother to mention anything about her past trauma to her child. But if she didn't tell her, that simply means that she did not want her to know. Therefore, Jiraiya had no right to reveal the truth to Mito, "I'm sorry Mito, but the answer to that question has to come from your mother not me."

"You don't know why she left? I don't believe that for a second."

"It's not that I don't know." He said, "It's that it's not in my place to tell you."

"But my great grandfather built the village, I know that much. So why would she just walk away? It doesn't make any sense."

"Mito, I can't tell you, but just know that if your mother never left then perhaps you would not exist right now." He said, trying to reason with her.

"That leads me to my other question." She said and took a deep breath, "Do you know who my father is?"

That was the question that has been bothering Jiraiya since he learned of Mito's existence. He had absolutely no idea, "I actually don't know the answer to that question." He said in honesty, "I wasn't around your mother when you came to be."

Mito sighed and slouched in her seat, clearly defeated. Jiraiya felt bad for the girl. It must have been quite difficult for her to grow up without her father. He suddenly became angry for he could not understand what kind of man would walk away from his responsibilities as a father. He wanted to somehow locate the man who fathered Mito and give him a piece of his mind, "You never met him?" He asked, but was certain what the answer would be.

"Never, not once." She sighed, but then pulled herself together, not wanting to crumble in front of Jiraiya, "It's ok."

"Did you have any other questions?" He asked, trying to stray from such a sensitive topic.

She didn't have any other questions for him, but decided to ask something random just to move on to lighter topics, "What's your speciality as a ninja?"

"I'm a toad sage." He replied.

Her eyes immediate lit up at his response, "Does that mean that you can summon frogs?"

"I can summon frogs among other things. Why? Do you like frogs?"

"I love them!" She said happily and pulled out a small stuffed toy in the form of a frog from her pocket and showed him, "They're my favorite! Most girls my age are repulsed by them, but I find them to be fascinating."

Jiraiya was shocked to know that out of all the cute, cuddly animals in the world, her favorite was a slimy, unattractive frog. That was the second thing they had in common, for frogs were his favorite animals as well, "Well how about that!" He smiled, "Maybe one day I can summon Gamakichi and introduce him to you."

"That would be great." She smiled.

Their food came and they started to eat while still participating in idle conversation. The more they spoke, the more Mito developed a fondness towards her mother's teammate. He was easy to talk to and he was genuinely kind. She didn't understand why her mother seemed to be so short with him, because to Mito, he was a great person. Jiraiya also grew to like the person Mito was and had a fierce sense of responsibility to protect her no matter what.

After they ate, and Jiraiya got a takeout bowl of ramen for Naruto, they arrived at the inn. Before knocking on Tsunade's room door he could tell how tense and nervous Mito was becoming. He put a gentle hand on her shoulder and assured her that everything would be alright. He then knocked on the door and almost immediately it opened, revealing Tsunade with a less than amused look on her face.

"Hi mom." Mito said nervously.

"Get inside Mito, I'll talk to you shortly." She said and waited for Mito to go inside before stepping out and closing the door. She was now standing face to face with Jiraiya, "Have you lost your mind Jiraiya?"

Jiraiya shook his head, "She was helping Naruto to train then before taking her home we stopped to get something to eat." He said as he pointed to the takeout bag he had in his possession, "Don't freak out, she was safe."

"I thank you for getting her dinner, but I don't like her to be out an about a strange town that she knows nothing about."

"Then become the Hokage so she can have a permanent home instead of moving from one strange town to another." He said, making it seem as if it were that simple.

"Not going to happen Jiraiya." She rolled her eyes.

"You should be more lenient with her, she's a great kid." He told her.

"I know she's a great kid." Tsunade agreed, "But you don't get to tell me how to parent her."

"Fine, she's your kid you know what's best for her." He said while throwing his hands up in the air, allowing her to win the argument, "But if you do ever see that winner who is apparently her father, maybe you should tell him that he really did a number on your kid." He said with disgust.

"What are you talking about Jiraiya?" She asked.

"I'm just saying that she's hurt that he's not in her life. And you should make more of an effort for her to get to know you, the real you, not this person you're pretending to be. And you should allow her more freedom, she's not a baby and she wouldn't do anything reckless." He said, offering his advice. He would hate to see Mito become a shell of a person because her father was not around and her mother was distant.

"Jiraiya." She started, but he interrupted.

"I don't know why you're like this Tsunade, maybe that jerk who fathered your kid hurt you by leaving you, but remember who you are and do better for your kid." He said before walking away from her.

When she was sure that he was gone and could not hear anything did she say, "You're not a jerk Jiraiya. I'm the one who left you and I'm the one who hurt our daughter. It was never you." She sighed before taking a deep, steadying breath and returned to her room. This time, she would not lecture her daughter for wanting to be free, but perhaps she would take Jiraiya's advice.


	14. Guilt

Tsunade, Shizune, and Mito were having lunch in the dining hall of the inn. Conversation was not flowing freely among the three. In fact, Tsunade appeared to be in deep thought, Shizune was internally worrying about what would occur a few days from then, and Mito was absentmindedly picking at her food. Granted their family unit was never upbeat and talkative, but each member seemed to be in their own world. Shizune was desperate to know just what was going on in Tsunade's head. In just a few short days, Orochimaru would appear again and when he does, what would happen? Would Tsunade refuse to heal his arms or would she give in to her selfish desires? Shizune had no idea, but what frightened her the most was her mentor's damaged mental state. There was a strong possibility that the losses in Tsunade's life could cloud her rational thinking and cause her to make decisions she would not otherwise make. If that were the case, Tsunade would become a traitor to her homeland, the villain in the stories of the residents of the Leaf. Shizune didn't know what would happen, but could not stand by and allow everything to fall apart.

The trio's internalizations were interrupted when Jiraiya and Naruto appeared at their table. Naruto was being loud and rambunctious as usual which caused Mito to giggle, but Tsunade to roll her eyes. Shizune however, seemed to be paying more attention to Jiraiya. She was glad that he showed up when he did, because perhaps he could be the solution to all her problems.

"We keep bumping into you Tsunade." Jiraiya smiled and pulled a chair up to their table to join the three.

"How unfortunate is that." Tsunade sighed then went over to the register to pay her bill.

"My mom doesn't seem to like you very much Master Jiraiya." Mito noticed, "Was she always this way with you?"

Jiraiya wanted to tell her that just a few years ago Tsunade was anything but mean to him. In fact she even admitted that she was falling in love with him. The years seemed to have changed her outlook on many things, especially her feelings towards him. But Jiraiya was determined to find out why. However, revealing all these truths to Tsunade's daughter didn't seem to be appropriate, "That's just how she is with me." Jiraiya said, "We banter back and forth but that doesn't mean that we don't like each other."

"Enough about that Pervy Sage." Naruto chimed in, "What about my training?" He nagged. The boy had little care about anything other than his training. He was still determined to win the bet against Tsunade.

Jiraiya tousled Naruto's hair, "Sorry kid, you have to do this on your own." He said, "I taught you everything you need to know to master the rasengan. You just have to keep working on it."

"You're so lame Pervy Sage!" He complained. Jiraiya always seemed to bail on him when it came to refining his techniques. Little did the boy know however, that Jiraiya was doing him a favor by leaving it up to him to perfect his jutsu instead of holding his hand every step of the way. Soon, perhaps when he's older, Naruto would realize that it would help make him a better ninja.

Tsunade reappeared at the table and was about to take her seat when Mito turned to her with pleading eyes, "Mom can I help Naruto train?" She asked before continuing with her well rehearsed speech, "I know that you made a bet against him and that I should be on your side, but I really just want to help him."

"Mito." Tsunade said, interrupting her daughter's rant, "It's ok, you can go."

Mito looked at her mother shocked beyond words, "What did you say?" She asked, finding it hard to believe that she was actually granted permission to go out without the company of her mother or Shizune.

"I said you can go." Tsunade repeated, "Just be careful and be back before dark."

Mito went over to where her mother was sitting and gave her a big hug followed by a kiss on the cheek, "Thanks mom!" She said happily and went off with Naruto after saying, "I promise I'll be back before dark!"

Tsunade smiled to herself, pleased that for once she could make her daughter happy. She had many insecurities about her parenting, but after seeing her daughter smile she felt that perhaps she was doing the very best she could.

Shizune was happy that Tsunade finally allowed Mito some kind of freedom. However, she didn't forget the anxiety she was feeling over Orochimaru's proposition. She turned to Jiraiya, feeling as if he could somehow help, "Master Jiraiya." She said, earning the attention of the sage whose eyes seemed to be fixated on Tsunade, "Can I speak to you for a second."

"Sure, what's up?" He said, diverting his attention from Tsunade to Shizune.

Shizune didn't want to speak to him in the presence of Tsunade, "I'm going to order some tea." She said as she rose to her feet, "Can you walk with me over there while we talk?" She was trying not to spark any suspicion in Tsunade. So far it appeared to be working for Tsunade didn't seem to be paying much attention to them.

"Okay." Jiraiya said as he got out of his chair, feeling slightly confused. Unlike Tsunade, he could tell that Shizune was trying to speak to him in private, "What did you want to talk to me about that you don't want Tsunade to know?" He asked when they were away from Tsunade.

"Can you spend some time with her?" Shizune asked, "She doesn't listen to me, but I feel like she'll listen to you." She explained. She knew she couldn't tell him about Orochimaru because she would be betraying Tsunade's trust and she had to keep the faith that Tsunade would not do anything unheard of. However, she was still apprehensive on what her mentor would decide.

"Listen to you?" He repeated, "What about?"

"About being the Hokage of course." She lied. Shizune wanted Tsunade to become the Hokage as much as Jiraiya did, but that was second on her list of priorities. But perhaps he could convince her to take on that role in addition to knocking some sense into her.

"You know I would love to spend some time with her, but she won't allow it." Jiraiya said with a hint of sadness evident in his tone, "What happened to her over the years?"

"I told you she's been through a lot." Shizune reminded him, "But if you talk to her, really talk to her then maybe she'll be okay again and remember who she is."

"Okay, I'll give it a shot." Jiraiya said and watched as Shizune exhaled a sigh of relief, "Maybe you should actually order some tea." He reminded Shizune. The last thing they needed was for Tsunade to think they were scheming against her.

"You're right. Thanks for reminding me." Shizune said, suddenly remembering that she was supposed to be getting tea. She then signaled the server and placed her order just before Jiraiya walked off to rejoin Tsunade at the table.

"What were you two talking about?" Tsunade asked when she saw Jiraiya join her at the table.

Thinking on his toes, he made up a lie to prevent Tsunade from becoming suspicious, "She was just asking me if I've been to this town before." He lied, hoping that she wouldn't ask follow up questions.

"Why would she ask that?" Tsunade asked with a confused look on her face.

Jiraiya thought about what to say and remembered that Shizune liked sight seeing so he formulated a lie based on that, "She wants to go sight seeing and was just wondering if I knew any good places."

"She's always had a thing for sight seeing, ever since she was little." Tsuande said, "So what did you tell her?"

"This is my first time in this town." He said, "But I heard about Tanzuku Castle and recommended that to her."

"That doesn't exist anymore." She said and immediately regretted saying it. The last thing she wanted was for Jiraiya to find out that she encountered Orochimaru. She wondered what Shizune said to him when he mentioned the castle. Did she tell him that Orochimaru destroyed it? Did she act as if it were her first time hearing about the castle? She suddenly became so frazzled and feared that one of her secrets was about to come to light.

"What happened to it?" He asked, curious to know how the castle was destroyed.

"I have no idea." She lied, "I just heard someone mention that it was destroyed."

Suddenly, Shizune rejoined the two Sannin with a cup of tea in hand.

"Ready to go sight seeing?" Jiraiya asked her.

Slightly confused, but deciding to go along with it Shizune nodded her head, "Yup, I'm all set."

"Say Tsunade." Jiraiya started, "How about you and I spend the day together."

Tsunade looked at him as if he had gone insane and rolled her eyes, "I'm going back to my room."

"Come on Tsunade don't be like that." He said and pulled her out of her chair, "It'll give us some time to catch up and maybe just maybe you'll have fun."

"I think it's a great idea Lady Tsunade." Shizune chimed in, "It's a much better option than being stuck in the room all day by yourself."

Tsunade looked at Shizune, and then at Jiraiya. She would be lying if she said that she didn't want to spend additional time with him. The truth was that she was trying to avoid him because of the guilt she felt. However, she figured spending a few hours with him couldn't be the worst thing ever, and perhaps it would help prepare her to reveal her truth. She shrugged her shoulders, making it seem as if it weren't a big deal to her, "Fine." She said and pretended not to notice the pure happiness on Jiraiya's face, and chose to ignore the butterflies in her stomach.

Jiraiya and Tsunade found themselves walking side by side through town. It started off somewhat awkward, neither having much to say. Jiraiya found the entire thing to be quite ridiculous for they were acting as if they were perfect strangers. They've known each other for their entire lives, grew up together, faced war together, and almost became a couple. Therefore, it should not be awkward at all. He looked at Tsunade walking beside him and couldn't help but feel as if something was off about her, like there was something she wasn't telling him. He couldn't tell what it was, but he was tasked with bringing her back to the village so one way or another, he would convince her to leave her nomadic lifestyle behind.

They found themselves in a small boutique that sold articles of clothing among other things. Tsunade was browsing through the clothing section and Jiraiya smiled when he saw her looking at a t-shirt with a cartoon frog on it and checking the size. He definitely knew who she was shopping for.

"Thinking about getting that for Mito?" He asked as he moved closer to her.

She nodded her head, "She has a thing for frogs." She told him, "I remember when she was a toddler I took her to a lake. She saw a small frog at the edge of the water and she got so excited. She loved frogs ever since then." She smiled, recalling precious memories of her child, "I got her a stuffed frog toy for her birthday one year."

"She showed it to me." He said, "She carries that thing around with her all the time." He told her, "I think you should get the shirt. I know she'll like it."

"Then I will." Tsunade said before taking the item to the cashier in order to purchase it.

It was amusing for Jiraiya to see Tsunade acting like a mother, talking about her child with a smile on her face, and buying her things she knows she would like. Maybe Tsunade didn't think she was a great parent, but perhaps she wasn't giving herself enough credit.

After she purchased the shirt, they went to a nearby park and sat on one of the benches. The park was basically empty which Tsunade was grateful for. It was the quiet she longed for.

"So I see you took my advice." Jiraiya said.

"What advice?" She asked, not sure what he was talking about.

"When I told you to allow Mito to have more freedom." He reminded her, "You let her go with Naruto."

"I just want her to be happy." Tsunade said in a small voice.

"You don't think she's happy?" He asked, but already had an idea of what the answer would be. For one, he knew that Mito was devastated that she didn't have her father in her life, and secondly Tsuande did not open up to her. Mito didn't appear to be a depressed person, but maybe she was just putting on a brave face for her mother.

"I don't think she is." Tsunade said, feeling like a failure, "She has me as a mother after all."

Jiraiya instinctively put his hand on Tsunade's. It was something he did out of habit when he sensed that she was going through a difficult time, "Don't say that Tsunade." He didn't like to hear her say horrible things about herself. She definitely was an imperfect person, but for her to vocalize such negative things about herself was unacceptable in Jiraiya's mind.

"It's true Jiraiya." She insisted, "All I do is drag her from place to place and keep her locked away from the world."

"Why is that?" He asked, "Why are you so overprotective?"

Surely Jiraiya should have an idea why Tsunade was so protective of her only child. She never spoke about it to anyone, not even to Shizune. But here he was, asking her questions about her child and her parenting style and she felt obligated to share those details with him. He was Mito's father after all, even if he didn't know it yet.

"Nawaki was supposed to stay at home when I was tending to the wounded at the hospital." She started, feeling vulnerable as she walked down memory lane, "He snuck out and joined the war and we know what happened when he did. Dan was fighting his own battle and I was doing the same. I had my back to him and when I turned around, he was holding onto his wound, bleeding out before my eyes." Her voice was starting to crack as she spoke about her traumatic past, "I couldn't help them. I keep Mito safe indoors or by my side at all times because I need to make sure that she's alright. She's my reason for living and if something were to happen to her because I failed to keep her safe, I wouldn't be able to survive it." She explained, "But she's getting older, and the tight hold I have on her is starting to weaken and that freaks me out."

It all made sense to Jiraiya now that Tsunade explained her reasons for being so protective of Mito. She was a woman who endured many traumatic losses in her life, all of which she was unable to prevent. Of course she would want to keep a close eye on her daughter to ensure that no harm come to her. However, what Tsunade was forgetting was the harsh but very real fact that even if she confines her daughter to the safety of indoors, or keeps her by her side at all times, danger may still come her way. It seemed as if Tsunade was living her life in fear of what could be and was forcing that way of living on her daughter. It was no wonder why their relationship was strained.

"I know you're scared Tsunade, but you can't live that way and you can't expect Mito to either." Jiraiya said, feeling sympathy for her, "Clearly you haven't recovered from the deaths of those close to you. However, you have to try. I'm not downplaying the pain you must feel, but to move forward you have to let go."

Everything Jiraiya was saying to her was correct. It has been years since the passing of Nawaki and Dan, so she should be able to move on with her life. He made it seem like it was so easy and maybe she could do it, but was she ready to leave them in the past?

"It's not that simple." Tsunade told him and removed her hand from under his.

"I'm not saying that it is." He said, "Just take one step at a time. Start by returning to the village and becoming the Hokage."

Was he serious? He was trying to make it seem like taking up the Hokage title wasn't a major step, especially for her, someone who hasn't resided in the Leaf Village for years. How could he possibly think that she was capable of effectively running a village and protecting everyone in it?

"You're still trying to get me to be the Hokage." She said and looked at him with an annoyed expression on her face, "I told you once and I'm not going to tell you again. I don't want the job." She rose to her feet, "Just go back to the village and leave me alone."

"Why don't you think you can do it?" He asked, not really expecting her to answer him, "Why can't you believe in yourself the way I believe in you?"

"I'm not what they need!" She said, raising her voice, "I can't fill Sarutobi Sensei's shoes, not with the way I am now!" She yelled and started to walk away from him.

"What happened to you Tsunade?" He asked, "You're not acting like the woman I fell in love with."

She stopped dead in her tracks when he said those words to her. A part of her wanted to melt into his arms upon hearing his declarations of love, but how could she? There was no way he could possibly still love her. She started to walk back towards him, but it wouldn't be to embrace him.

"You don't love me." She told him.

He shook his head, clearly not agreeing with her statement, "Yes I do. I always have and always will."

"You can't love me."

"Why not?"

She took a deep breath, trying so hard not to become overwhelmed with emotion, "Because I'm a mess, and once you find out just how messed up I am you won't love me. In fact you'll hate me."

He cautiously pressed his palm against her cheek and said, "There's no way I could ever hate you."

She shook her head, "Are you sure about that?" She asked before turning away from him and walking in the opposite direction. She could have stood there and told him the secret that she has been concealing for twelve years, but cowardice took over. Her mind was telling her that she had to reveal the truth, but she was too afraid to watch his love for her turn into hatred. She was disappointed in herself and wished that she could right her wrongs. However, what she had to accept was that whenever she decided to tell Jiraiya her secret, she would face the high possibility of him resenting her. She could hardly blame him if it came down to that. Because of her, he missed out on everything. He missed the moment their daughter came into the world, her first steps, her first words, everything. In addition, Mito viewed him as simply her mother's old friend instead of who he truly is. It was all her fault.

As she was walking home, the guilt she was feeling was gnawing away at her so much that she found herself in a tavern. She tried to limit her drinking escapades ever since she had Mito, but in that moment she just needed something to make her forget her troubles. She sat at the bar and ordered a bottle of sake. She consumed some salted nuts as she waited for her drink of choice and took notice of the other patrons in the tavern. Almost all of them were intoxicated or on the verge of becoming drunk. She figured that in a few moments she would join them in drunken bliss.

The bartender handed her the bottle of sake and a shot glass. Instead of pouring out her drink, she abandoned the glass entirely and drank straight from the bottle. She had little care about keeping up lady like appearances. She just wanted to drink away all the secrets, the guilt, the bets, the bargains, the pain. She felt as if her world was spiraling out of control and she was powerless to stop it. She wanted to disappear from it all, but quickly realized that she could not escape her reality. No matter what she did, she still withheld important information from Jiraiya and even to Mito. She couldn't run away from that truth. Secondly, the pressure of becoming Hokage was weighing heavily on her shoulders. Her reluctance to take on the job was due to her insecurities and the drama she had in her life. However, could she walk away from a role that her relations basically passed down to her? Furthermore, in a few days Orochimaru would expect an answer from her. Wether she wanted it or not, he would show up and it was bound to be an unpleasant experience when he does. How did her nomadic existence become so interrupted so quickly?

Soon her one bottle of sake became three. After finishing the liquor inside the third, her cheeks became a bright shade of pink, her speech started to slur, her reflexes slowed, and her eyes were halfway closed. She was so drunk that she wasn't aware of her surroundings or even her actions. After a few moments of drunken conversations with other random intoxicated people, she found herself stumbling out of the bar. She had no idea what direction she was going in, but soon became too dizzy to stand, tripped over nothing and soon found herself slumped against a wall in the middle of town. To make matters worse, it started to rain heavily. She had no perception of time, but it was more than likely late at night. She just sat there, lost in the rain and suddenly her emotions got the better of her. Salty tears streamed down her face and mixed with the rain pelting her body. She thought of how pitiful it was for one of the legendary Sannin to be drunk crying in the rain all by her lonesome. How did her life amount to that?

To her shock and confusion, Jiraiya appeared in front of her and shaded her with an umbrella. He was holding the bag that contained the shirt she bought for Mito earlier. She must have forgotten it on the park bench. She had no idea how he found her there or what he was doing out in the rain himself, but in her moment of helplessness it was comforting to see a familiar face.

"Tsunade." He said as he looked at her tearful eyes. The sadness he felt for her in that moment was tremendous and all he wanted to do was to help her.

"Don't help me." She said in a small voice, "Just leave me, I don't deserve your help." She cried. How could she possibly expect him to help her when she was keeping such a life changing secret from him? She didn't want him to feel sorry for her or even offer her a helping hand. She just wanted him to leave her there, soaked to the bone, and all alone.

"Take my hand." He said as he held his hand out to her, "I don't know why you feel as if you're unworthy of my help among other things, but I refuse to leave you out here in the rain." He told her, "You're drunk, you don't even know where you are. Wether you want me to or not, I'm taking you home."

Reluctantly, she took hold of his hand. He pulled her to her feet, and wrapped his arm around her waist to steady her. Together, they made their way back to the inn. She was wobbly on her feet and couldn't exactly recall how long it took them to make it to the building, but Jiraiya was with her every step of the way and made sure that she didn't fall or come undone in his company.

They approached Tsunade's room and before knocking on the door, he looked over to see that Tsunade had her head resting against his shoulder. She was half asleep and didn't seem to be aware that they were back at the inn. He only hoped that Mito was asleep in bed. He figured that Tsunade would not want her daughter to see her in that condition. However, that wasn't the case for when Jiraiya knocked on the door, it was both Shizune and Mito who answered. They both had worried looks plastered on their faces, but when their eyes landed on Tsunade, Shizune didn't seem to be too shocked, while Mito looked almost frightened at her mother's state.

"What happened to her?" Mito asked and approached Tsunade, "We were worried sick."

"Mito, why don't you go pick out some dry clothes for your mom." Shizune instructed in order to keep the younger girl busy.

Mito didn't seem to want to leave her mother's side but did as she was told nevertheless. When she was busy doing the task she was given, Shizune helped Jiraiya carry Tsunade over to her bed and placed the shopping bag beside her.

"This feels awfully familiar." Shizune pointed out, remembering many years ago when Jiraiya brought a drunk Tsunade home after one of their drinking sessions. That was when Jiraiya encountered Tsunade after not seeing her for quite some time, "I wanted you to spend some time with her, but not like this."

Jiraiya shook his head, "I didn't go drinking with her." He assured the raven haired woman, "She must have gone to the bar after she got mad and walked away from me." He said, "I was walking around town when I saw her slumped against a wall in the rain."

"Why did she get mad at you?" Shizune asked, trying to keep her voice down so that Mito wouldn't overhear the conversation.

Jiraiya wondered the same thing but figured it had something to do with what he said to her, "I told her I loved her."

Shizune looked at him with wide eyes and was about to say something when Mito came back with the clothes for Tsunade.

"Can someone tell me what's going on?" Mito asked, placing the clothes on the bed and sitting beside her mother's sleeping form.

Shizune didn't know what to say. She didn't want to tell Mito that her mother went out and got so drunk she collapsed in the rain in the middle of the street. But what else could she say that could sugar coat the situation?

Jiraiya spoke up, "Your mother and I were walking around town, catching up on old times." He started, "I guess we lost track of time then it started to rain. Don't worry, she's just tired."

Mito exhaled a sigh of relief after hearing Jiraiya's explanation. She then tugged at her mother's upper arm in order to wake her. When Tsunade's eyes fluttered open Mito said, "Come on mom, we got to get you out of those wet clothes."

Tsunade grumbled but sat up in the bed. Her eyes locked onto Jiraiya's and when they did, she quickly looked away from him. Realizing that there was nothing more he could do, he started towards the door.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow." He said before walking out of the room. He was even more confused about what was going on with Tsunade than he was before.

He started to walk down the hall to his room when he heard someone running up behind him. When he turned around, he saw Mito running towards him. When she was close enough, she wrapped her arms around his body in a tight hug. At first he was confused, but when the initial shock wore off, he hugged her back. The hug lasted a few moments and when they broke apart she looked at him.

"I'm not a little kid." She started, "I know my mom is drunk." She said, "Even so, thank you for taking care of her Master Jiraiya."

He should have known that he couldn't lie to her. Mito was smart and very mature for her age and could not be fooled easily. That was something she probably got from her mother. He smiled at her, "Anytime."

"Goodnight Master Jiraiya." She said and went back to her room.

One way or another, he vowed to himself that he would convince Tsunade to take up her rightful position as Hokage. He wanted her back in the village, and he wanted Mito to have a place to truly call home. He didn't know how, or what it would take, but he would make it happen.


End file.
